My boyfriend still looks even when I am with him.?

Question

We are in our 40's and he hadn't had a girlfriend in 7 yrs since his late wife. He still looks even when Im with him. I stopped looking I had no problem stopping. Why does he. He never moved on what he looked at b4 but if I go back to looking I will talk and I usually get a date as well. its not fair for me to stop and let him and say its alright cause your a guy. bulshit. I dont know how to deal with this. We live togther.

Answer 1

quite simply, guys look. It is not like we are ravaging every woman we see in our mind. men are much more visually stimulated, in more ways than one. For example, more men can get turned on by visual stimulation than women. I am not saying men get turned on by looking at women walking by on the street, just a statement about the effect. If women see someone beyond just attractive, more like "sexy" to them, they need more stimulation. If men see someone "attractive", it catches their attention, like a string to a kitten.

I do it too. I am married and extremely attracted to my wife and would choose her over Hally Berry in any situation. I try not to do it in front of her because I know it is disrespectful, but it happens. I don't gawk or stare, but I do glance. It's not because I want to sleep with the woman I am looking at, it's because I see something perdy and I look at it. I am not looking for a replacement or anything like that. Just window shopping.

Don't take it as an insult. You will need to look at other signs to see whether or not it is more than just that.

Answer 2

had this problem...start LOOKING and make it obvious, make comments about some guys ***. also come home from the store and tell him some 30 yr. old guy was hitting on you and asking if you were 30 and available and act so flattered and giggly about it. that will make him think. take extra care of yourself, get your hair done, nails, etc. (even if you have to do it yourself) get all dressed up in a skirt etc. to go to the store alone. make him think!! it works great. also when he makes a comment about a girl or you catch him looking just smile and agree then later that day or night even if its on tv, make your comments.lol good luck...ps he hardly ever does it now and he is so worried about what im looking at..lol

Answer 3

You're really going to have a fit when he starts looking at $50,000 sports cars...

If your boyfriend looks, let him look and join in by simply saying....she's very pretty...you like 'em big...etc.

The point is to say something humorous at that moment he looks at another woman and stop with the jealousy routine, you'll only compound matters.

My friend is in his 40's and he has a ton of pics of naked women in his garage (no porn). So much so, it's more humorous than challenging. And, he is happily married to a wonderful woman and has three healthy and wonderful kids.

Relax, nothing is happening and don't let it get to you. It's when men don't look, that should trouble you !

Answer 4

My husband and I are also in our 40's. We have been married for 20 years. My husband still looks and has always looked. Their is nothing wrong with looking, it's only if he is taking it further that you have to worry.
I look myself, after all, I'm married, not dead. Admiring someone that looks good isn't wrong. It's only wrong if your partner starts talking to them and then starts seeing them on the side.
It's human nature to look, you can't stop him and will only draw a wedge between the two of you if you get upset with him for doing something that is totally natural.
You don't have to stop looking yourself, but if you feel you can't look with out going out with the person, then maybe you better figure out if this is the guy you want or not.

Answer 5

if he cares he would stop. maybe he doesn't know u feel this way. have u talked about it? I had the same prob. when me and my hubby were dating, he didn't know how I felt til we had a huge fight and almost broke up. but once we were done yelling and screaming and cring i told him how i felt and he understood. that was 2 yrs ago, so talk to him. if he refuses leave him, u can do better. if he loves u then he shoudn't need other girls to look at. good luck, if it doesn't work e-mail me and i'll kick his *** 4 u

Answer 6

well its ok cuz he chose to spend the rest of his life with u, and he will never get that chance to have sex or do anything with another girl (unless he is). U gotta accept that he still looks at other women, cuz u look at hot men too sometimes dont u? and u miss the feeling, the feeling that u can have sex with whomever u want and it doesnt matter cuz nobody will care.

Answer 7

He's doing what many men do, even when in a relationship or married. Not all do, but most. the saying goes, look but don't touch. Make sure he knows how you feel,, by discussing it. Most women,even a few men, have felt just like you.

Answer 8

You dont have to deal with it, it is a lack of respect u deserve better. You are worthy of having a boyfriend that when he is with YOU he respects you. It should be no other way no exceptions. No no no darling that should not be tolerated. Point blank. The end!

Answer 9

i agree with you its not right, but dont go nuts at him, just calmly ask him to explain why he feels the need to look at other women and that it hurts you and makes you feel doubtfulof your relationship. If he continues to do it regardless then you need to ask yourself ifhe is the right kind of guy for you, maybe he has trouble dedicating himself to anyone since his late wife. unresolved grief can lead people to do abnormal things. get him to alk about it.

Answer 10

I'm not sure I understand. If he's looking, as in looking to hook up, then y'all should talk about it. But if he's just looking at a pretty girl walking by, let it go.