How would you react to recieving a letter that your husband was having an affair...?

Question

Hey all, Just to make a long story short. I met a guy a couple of years ago who was married and didn't tell me about it. His wife found out about out relationship and called me to ask me what was going on. I was afraid and never really told her anything. Than I started to recieve several prank calls in a row (I'm not sure if it was her or him) but I changed my phone number and never heard from her again. Unfortuantly, I have seen him (for professional reasons.) and he has asked me for sexual favors. I denied him and do not speak to him. Anyhow I found out where this woman works and I sent her off a letter explaining our affair. (very Tactfully) I just wanted her to know.

How would you react to recieving something like this at your desk at work?

Answer 1

It would be devastating, of course. The spouse is always the last to know. However, I applaud you for letting her know the truth about her husband. He is just one of many husbands who behave so badly and she does deserve to know what a b..... he is. At least now, if she is any kind of woman (except Hillary
Clinton) she can investigate his behavior and take him for all he's worth instead of sitting around at her desk and taking it like a man. There is no love great enough to put up with his behavior. Maybe she will stay with him for material worth or power reasons, but at least she knows she needs to get STD testing every year. Thanks for turning him down, at least I think you did.

Answer 2

I received this once and I pressed harrassment 2nd charges-a letter like this is in poor taste to be received anywhere but it is worse at work where there is no guarantee that it will not be opened(as mine was) by a secretary. Why does it matter what you did if it is over? Would you want a play by play if you were in her shoes? You were obviously trying to humiliate this woman and it sounds as if you still carry a torch for the guy or at least about the fact that he did not leave her for you. Here's a thought: dont date married men and you won't have to do things like this or worry who's pranking you on the phone-except high school kids and goodness gracious! what were you thinking getting it on with a married man that you would have to see for busines reasons? Do you value your job? This is just so wrong in so many levels......

Answer 3

You have really opened up Pandora's box here, and a lot of people will be hurt, turn and lives destroyed by your letter. What may have been a more tactful approach would have been to tell her when she originally called you. Now, there may be ramifications from your ex-lover in the workplace that could make your professional career a miserable experience. Also, your letter will now be used in a court of law, and you could be called to testify during their divorce proceedings (oh yes). Are you ready for the nasty quagmire you have created? You know, you were hurt by a man that you trusted. He was married and failed to reveal this information to you. However, other innocent people were also hurt here. Do these two have children? They will be torn. What were your motives for telling her in that manner? Did you want to stick it to her? Make her hurt like you did? Only you can truly evaluate your actions. But, just know that the drama has yet to unfold.........

Answer 4

I have been there myself in my younger days. Got involved with a guy from out of town and never knew he was married until MONTHS later! Not even my friends whom I met him through, who KNEW he was married, could tell me! It was HORRIBLE! But I learned a few things from it. So truely, I mean you no offense by what I'm about to say.

1. If he had an affair with you, CHANCES ARE it wasn't his first and it wasn't his last.

2. If she found out about the affair you were involved in and then believed you when you denied it, she's only lying to herself and will eventually STOP lying to herself.

3. SHE'S GOING TO EVENTUALLY CATCH HIM!

4. If I received a letter like that, I personally would take it that you were bragging about getting away with having an affair with my husband - no matter how "tactfully" you put it. There is NO tactful way to write a letter like that!

5. I would have left well enough alone if I were you! This woman is going to be (and already has been) in enough pain over her husbands cheating. I would not have wanted to cause her anymore pain than what I knew I already had - even though HE was the one responsible for it.

Believe me, she knows what her husband has been up to. She has her own reasons for putting up with it. One day, she'll reach her limit and do what she needs to do for her. For your sake, remove yourself from this situation in every way possible and don't ever have anymore contact with these people.

Good luck; I hope everything works out for you AND her!

Answer 5

I would have all sort of emotions first you try to deny it, then you get hurt ,angry,confused. Just like you felt when you found out he was married. You might come across him again and he might be very angry. He is the fool now. He probably thought he was going to get away with the affair. I feel for the wife though she will be so shocked to see that letter.

Answer 6

Let me get this straight?

1. Your relationship ended 2 years ago.
2. You changed your phone number
3. Recently you see him and he asks you for sexual favors
4. You say no and send innocent wifey a letter to her work??

I think what you did was dumb and I question your motives. Why would you possibly want to hurt her that way? She is innocent in this whole thing, and you send her a stinger... Don't you understand you are trying to hurt her like you were hurt when you found out he was married. Misery loves company. Good Luck.

Answer 7

frankly you should have stuck to your original plan that is to leave said couple alone.. how would i react?? initial reaction will be anger but afterwards i will think if there is truth in the letter. However as it seems the woman knows and already have the suspicion that you are having affair with her husband then i just hope she will act sanely towards u..

Answer 8

Well i would read it of course then go up 2 him and show it 2 him be mad an try figuring out if its true about it or not then i will break up with him and makes his life a living hell, but over all i think u did the prefect choice good job! And then for da fun of it i would prank call da ***** for prank calling me lol

Answer 9

Was your intent to hurt her? Getting news like this at work is terrible. Let me give you an example of something that happened to me. My wife and I had separated and I thought we were going to work things out. She called me while I was at work and asked where I was (my work has a route so I am at different places during the day). I told her where I was and I felt excited. She actually cared enough to come see me and bring the kids. I couldn't wait to see her. About a half hour later, a woman locates me and asked me if I was me. I said yes, and she handed me an envelope and she left. The envelope were divorce papers. I was devastated. I had to stop working and be alone for the rest of the day. Getting bad news like this at work causes a scene. I had to tell my coworker with me that I had to leave, and tell my boss what was going on. Now everybody at work could have something to gossip about. Not cool!

Answer 10

I would be pissed. Especially since it happend over 2 years ago. It's the past, you should've just let it rest. Ya know! If you told him to back off, good for you. But don't let her know about it. That's her problem that her husband is an asshole. I wouldn't have done that. But!! If it made you feel better that you got that off your chest, then maybe you should have done it. I guess you'll find out how she feels in a few days!