So I'm a fourteen year old girl. I have been homeschooling for the past two years and past two years only. I'm not "ugly", but I'm sort of chubby which IS a turnoff.
The main problem is, because I don't see much guys anymore, I crush on almost every guy I see for more than two days if he is even decent looking. This is driving me crazy, because I have been crushing on the most unfavorable people; a wannabe gangster, an arrogant guy who doesn't know I exist, etc. How should I solve this problem? Only if I saw more guys my age around I'd feel more comfortable with the ones I seldom see. Please HELP!
2006-08-14 17:05:46 · 10 answers · asked by cutieangelpies 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Home Schooling
-edit-
quitting homeschooling isn't an option because of my family situation at the moment.
2006-08-14 17:21:37 · update #1
It is normal to have crushes on boys. I went to public school and had the same problem. First thing you need to do is learn to respect and love yourself. Also try to join an active church youth group or home school group.
Start thinking of every crush as a possible future husband. Look for the characteristic you would want in a life partner. Start looking at the good and the bad in each guy. Ask yourself, "Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with him?"
You are only 14 years old, but the decisions we make now can effect our future. Try talking to your parents. I know I would be open to discussing this with my children. We talk openly and my oldest is 10. If your parents aren't open try talking to a female councilor from church or youth group.
2006-08-15 05:29:50 · answer #1 · answered by MomOfThree 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a normal thing for a teen, even those in regular schools develop crushes one after the other, until they start dating or find someone special.
My recommendations:
1. Sign up for a swim class, a karate class or something similar. This will boost your self-confidence, it will get you into shape AND you will be around boys more often.
2. Give yourself some boundaries, what should he be like, what type of person is best, should he be christian, would he have to be attentive to you and not some oddball? As soon as you write down exactly what you want in a guy...you will be sure to not be attracted at all to those who do not fit in your idea of what a good guy would have to be for you.
3. There is a certain amount of excitement about the odd man out. A good person can be attracted to the wrong person, this is temporary. If you learn more about different kinds of people, good and bad, you will not find the odd man out interesting anymore, you will simply be accepting. Read news articles about youth issues, school problems, etc.
So, if you are regularly around guys (and gals) for sports, you have an more exact idea of what you would like in a mate, and are informed about current issues, you will soon be able to choose someone correctly.
2006-08-15 06:47:29 · answer #2 · answered by schnikey 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It has nothing to do with how many guys you see. Fantasy crushes at your age are not uncommon, as long as you don't act on them. If it's really bugging you, ask yourself why you are drawn to them. It's not because you don't see other guys. It could be that having a crush on these undesirables is safe, because you won't do anything about it. Or it could be just the thrill of thinking of being with someone 'exciting'. Or it could be an escape from what's going on in your life. Or it could be something else. When you figure out what's really pulling you to these guys, then you'll be able to take a stand against it.
2006-08-15 08:26:02 · answer #3 · answered by glurpy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Check Yahoo groups for "homeschool support groups in "whatever your state is"
You'll find groups. I know here in my town, the teens have a monthly dance cruise on the steamboat. That way they can meet up with other teens. They also have parties and dances and things. The monthly dance cruise in spring is "Prom". They can get formal and stuff. It's really nice.
Don't worry about being chubby. Some guys actually like a girl that looks healthy.
2006-08-15 10:11:38 · answer #4 · answered by Jessie P 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK, so you're 14--what in the world do you need guys for?
Where is your dad, BTW? No brothers? Yikes--we don't
need to go to public school to socialize. That is ridiculous.
You're only 14--do you know how to sew? Are you a good cook?
What about piano, guitar, etc.? I think you should expand your
interests. Don't worry, when you are older, the right man will come along, and sweep you off your feet--no experience necessary.
And work on being chubby, if you can--maybe that's the answer--
start playing sports--invite people over to play volleyball, soccer--here we are crazy about ultimate frizbee--and I think the boys like to play because they do ALOT of running around, and the (older) girls like to play because their are boys there!
Remember to keep creepy guys at a distance--if they are really creeps, do not even look at them! Do not talk to them, either.
I've noticed most guys think you are after them if you are nice to them! If they are decent guys, treat them like a brother, but do not be flirty. Just be yourself. Talk about things to get them talking--like brothers, OK? Guys are interesting. You are just awakening to being a young woman. It's smart or you to realize that you have these crushes! (I remember my oldest daughter telling me that! Now shes a happily married mother, and no,
she never dated--you won't believe it, but her first kiss was her wedding kiss, and so was her husband's! And they were both
homeschool graduates.)
Besides, where are the girls in your life? At 14, you should be developing your interests, and having lots of girl interaction and family interaction. Make it happen!
2006-08-16 05:25:16 · answer #5 · answered by abiquamom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is the whole problem with homeschooling-you're so shelter and isolated because you sit at home all day instead of being with others your own age. The best thing you could do would be to quit homeschooling and enroll in a public school. That should turn you off to teenage guys real quick, because as you already seem to know most of them are losers!
2006-08-15 00:13:32 · answer #6 · answered by jellybean24 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
A lot of good advice here, I think the thing you should focus on most is getting out of the house- some excuses include: pursuing interests (new and old), giving of your time, and getting involved in your community. These are all good things for college applications AND socializing. Have fun, do what you like and remember that the hormones raging in your body will die down sooner than you think!
2006-08-15 13:48:09 · answer #7 · answered by KarrolLea 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find something to get involved in where you could be around guys. Perhaps join a church youth group. Join a bowling league. There are plenty of activities out there where you can meet other guys and get to know them as friends and crushes. Be yourself and don't settle for ganster types.
2006-08-15 00:13:16 · answer #8 · answered by a6stringjedi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't understand why you can't quit homeschooling because it costs far more than going to regular school.
Tell your folks that you will have to live in the real world so you want to go to school there also.
2006-08-18 04:39:24 · answer #9 · answered by Ed M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to a public school
2006-08-15 00:11:24 · answer #10 · answered by amyjune289 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋