Hello. I was at a wedding recently. We went up table by table to get food. I was next to last. The first people took a lot of the meat and their was none left over for the last 5 or so people. I think it was the fault of the caterer - they should have had someone standing there saying only take one or two of such and such until everyone had eaten.
I said nothing to the wedding party. At the time I was just too embarrassed for them to mention it.
Was this right? Should I have pulled aside someone and told them in private? I don't really care that I did not get the meat - I just felt bad because some of these last people had traveled far.
What you have done? Said nothing or pulled aside someone?
Thanks.
2006-08-14 15:48:41 · 15 answers · asked by Think.for.your.self 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Wow! The general sentiment seems to be that I did the right thing! I thought more would tell me to bring it to the attention of the wedding party!
Also - if I had said something - I would have pulled them aside and whispered it in a low voice so that no one else would have heard.
The wedding was great though. I had such a good time! I just want to know for future reference.
2006-08-14 16:42:48 · update #1
Why do you think you might have a responsibility here? You are a guest at the wedding. The people behind you are guests. The thoughtless people in front of you are guests. It is neither your responsibility nor your place to point out this kind of problem. Even though your concern is genuinely unselfish, you were not in a position to deal with any problems. A wedding is supposed to have an overseer to see to it that everything runs smoothly. Helpers are determined or hired beforehand. Otherwise you get everyone trying to direct things out of a desire to 'help' If there is some kind of problem which could be solved, (of which this is not one, it's too late to get more food, obviously) then you could approach the overseer, maybe a wedding planner or a close relative of the bride. Usually you will know who it is because they are the one going around doing things. All you can do in this situation is resolve never to use that particular caterer or recommend them.
2006-08-14 17:28:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is customary for the caterer to provide a carver/server for the meat, precisely so this sort of thing doesn't happen. And it is also customary for the caterer to ensure that there is a
'reserve' to make sure everyone has a portion. It sounds as though people didn't respond to their RSVP, the bride and groom weren't able to tell the caterer exactly how many people were going to be there and the extras simply showed up and helped themselves.
It's actually a common problem, and something that a lot of people don't think about when they don't bother answering an invitation that has RSVP on it. The bar won't run out, because they always have an extra couple of cases of liquor. Unused liquor can be taken back. Unused roast beef or chicken can't, so caterers try to cook just enough for everyone to have a good meal without having a bunch left over.
It wouldn't have done much good to take someone aside and point out the obvious, as they had no way of repairing the situation at that moment.
You did the right thing in saying nothing, and it was kind of you not to make a fuss and spoil a very special day.
2006-08-14 23:36:00 · answer #2 · answered by old lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is truly an embarrassing situation for all.. saying something will not have fixed a thing... some people just don't know how to act at weddings and parties... you always take some food and come back for 2nds when everyone has been served... I think the caterer looks bad as well.. My Grandmother always said " I like to see leftovers... because this means everyone had enough to eat and no one left the table hungry"... Too bad this happened..
2006-08-14 23:06:16 · answer #3 · answered by cinsaint1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did right by not embarrassing the hostess or the bridal party by pointing out the caterers poor oversight of the buffet. A wedding reception should be to honor the new couple; they are their families have worked very hard to bring off the day. At that point what could be done anyway? Best to smile and keep it in mind when you're first in line...that someone else will be coming in behind you...and leave some for them.
2006-08-14 22:57:47 · answer #4 · answered by CHos3n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The caterer was paid to serve a certain # of people -- that's why the RSVP & limits on the number of guests you can bring.
It's possible a few too many people showed up at the last minute. But the caterer could have botched it -- if so, someone needs a refund. I'd mention it to whoever is host/hostess, or to the maid of honor to relay to whoever's footing the bill. Be sure to compliment the reception in general.
2006-08-14 23:13:28 · answer #5 · answered by jagfanantic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing by not saying anything. There wasn't anything they could do about it at the time. and it probably just would have made them feel bad without solving anything. You might have said something to the caterer letting them know you felt the service to be poor and you would tell your friends not to use them. But really. If saying something can't change the situation, then you just end up looking like a jerk when you speak up so good job keeping your mouth shut.
2006-08-14 23:12:34 · answer #6 · answered by I love sushi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bringing it up during the reception would have solved nothing. Instead it would have just embarrassed a few guests along with yourself and the bride and groom. By keeping it to yourself you allowed people to act as if everything was ok, and on a special day like that it is important for the bride and groom to be under the impression that everything is ok. You only get one wedding (if everything goes ok anyways) and you do not want your memories of it to be tainted by something so..annoying as bad human nature.
2006-08-14 23:59:31 · answer #7 · answered by La Voce 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me truthfully, agrees with the above person. I wouldn't have said nothing. There should have been someone representing the catering company to stand and monitor. It's a SHAME that you have people like that who are that greedy to eat up all of the food at a wedding!!! GIMME A BREAK!!!!!!
2006-08-14 22:58:40 · answer #8 · answered by Chad C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on how close you are to to the bridal party. But it's over and done with now and no one really is looking to get full at a wedding. It's not as if they can say damn I won't hire them for my next wedding!! It is good for you to be concerned though. We need more ppl like you in this world.
2006-08-14 22:56:11 · answer #9 · answered by RedDreads 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally would have said nothing. The bride and groom probably knew that it had happened. Yes, the caterer should have been on top of things.
2006-08-14 22:54:58 · answer #10 · answered by scare_all 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋