in a relationship with a SUICIDAL BOYFRIEND! HELP?

Question

Here is a brief update from my previous post.. i broke up with him because what if we get married and he keeps telling me he is going to kill himself whenever we get into an arguement that isnt healthy at all. I broke it off with him a few hours ago and he said bye and said ill see him in the paper dead. I tried to be strong and tell him if thats what he wants to do i cant tell him to stop anymore. He did this before and i could not stop crying . Im only 18 i cant take it. why cant i have a normal boyfriend. I have been with him for 10 months and its going to be hard living without him. Right now i dont know if he is dead or alive because he said bye to me. I told him that i love him and he told me that he loves me to. And he hasnt called since. I called his house once and noone pickedup . God i dont know what to do. What if he is dead? Or is he? What about all the memories we shared? I lost my virginity to him! But i knoe it probably wouldnt work out. I need advice how to cope.

Answer 1

Boy, does this sound familiar! When I was your age I was in the same situation...only it went on like that for 5 years. Chances are slim he will kill himself....the reason he isn't answering your calls is because he wants you to think the worst so that you will feel so horrible that you will go back to him. Don't do it. It is a neverending cycle.

If he wants to commit suicide, he has deeper issues than you not being with him. That was a lesson I had to learn when I was in that situation.

It's hard to hear him say those things, but your best bet is to cut off all ties to him if he is going to play those mental games with you. Talking to him will only make him keep playing them and trying to get you back. You are an intelligent girl to know that this isn't healthy and that you won't make it long term with him. It is best to be done now before you've wasted years of your life on something you knew this early on.

Answer 2

You have pretty much done all you can. You know in your heart that while you still might love him but your relationship won't ever work. You'll have fond memories of him but at the end of the day you broke up with him because there was too much going wrong in your relationship to make things really last. He sounds like he says he will kill himself in order to guilt you into getting back with him. It is time to just let him go and move on, but before you do let some of his relatives know what he has said to you so they can get the heads up if he actually is planning to commit suicide. Don't feel guilty about what he does or does not do. He should be responsible for his life and not you.

Answer 3

wow, you shouldn't have to go through this. Seems like you've been doing the right thing, but you HAVE TO get help from someone else. Check out and see if there is any free or lo cost counseling. Sometimes its worth it to take an easy class at a community college just for the counseling, however you do it, you should find a PROFESSIONAL to talk to, whatever happens with this guy, the last thing you want is to keep repeating this cycle in your relationships. The most important thing is that you do not feel guilty. You are not responsible for anyone else except yourself. It's great that you're seeking help by any available means you can, but go somewhere and sit down and get all your thoughts out with someone who can help you sort through them. Good luck, stay strong!!!

Answer 4

Call his parents house immediatley and ask if he's been there. If they ask why tell them the truth this is a serious situation and you have to act fast. You might have to call the police and explain the situation to them as well. From what I see there's more to the suicidal threats than he's leading on. Please to what ever it takes to find him before it's too late. Be strong and have faith God will help you throught this rough time. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 5

It's all a matter of what you can handle.

My girlfriend and I have mental issues and deal perfectly together because we understand each other. When you're not going through something, you can't understand.

I'm not suicidal but I do say that to my girlfriend and she's there for me because she knows that we are meant to be together.

He needs to get counseling. If you want to be there for him, as a girlfriend or a friend, be there for him. But if it's not going to work out then . . . move on. But try to be there as a friend if you want.

Answer 6

I DON'T THINK THAT HE WILL KILL HIMSELF, BUT I DO THINK THAT HE'S CRYING OUT FOR ATTENTION AND IS DEFINITELY GOING ABOUT GETTING IT THE WRONG WAY. ONCE YOU KNOW THAT HE HASN'T TRIED TO HURT HIMSELF, I WOULD SERIOUSLY THINK ABOUT GIVING HIM SOME SPACE BECAUSE YOU ARE STILL VERY YOUNG AND YOU DO NOT NEED EXTRA STRESS OF WORRYING ABOUT IF HE'S GOING TO PUT A BULLET THROUGH HIS HEAD AND THEN WHO KNOWS IF HE'LL EVEN GO AS FAR AS HURTING YOU. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS ON AN INCREASE THESE DAYS AND YOU DEFINITELY DON'T WANT TO GET CAUGHT UP IN A SITUATION WHERE HE'S THINKING "O.K. SHE LEFT ME, IF I CAN'T HAVE HER THEN NOBODY CAN!" SO, IF IT WERE ME, I'D MAKE SURE THAT HE'S O.K. AND THEN I WOULD GRADUALLY PUT SOME DISTANCE BETWEEN US. HOPE THIS HELPS! (SMILE, IT'LL BE O.K.)

Answer 7

try slapping him in the face everytime he says such things. if that doesnt work (porbly wont), then you might need to stage an invervention w/ his family and friends or get him some professional help. such as a pshycharist or a clinic of somesort


srry bout the spelling

Answer 8

suicidal boyfriends tend to have a mental problem. dont worry too much about him, u cant depend on him for anything. there are many guys out there who are not suicidal and are very normal. u just looked at the wrong place. forget him and move on!

Answer 9

Are you waiting for him to drag you down with him? Because that's what will happen if you stay.
Vaya con DIOS