he tells me that we will but when he gets a really good job. we both have good jobs now and are saving im at least ready to get engaged. What should I do?
2006-08-14 15:34:31 · 14 answers · asked by tdwiditz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are not goingto like this.....wait. Do not get married or start having kids untill you are at least 27/28. Get your life together...get into your job path, and get it really stable. Don't be afraid to let the relationship you have now grow a bit. See were the two of you are in a few years after things start to really settle in.
I would also say you should consider some dating outside of your relationship....make sure that he really is the best thing that has happened to you. LIVE your 20's- you have the rest of your life to grow old together.
I, like a number of other people my age (37), got married to young. I got married at 24. I dated my wife for a few years...even lived together a while before we got married. We are still together, but we are fighting a number of issues.
Dont get me wrong, I love my wife. but if I had it to do over again- I would have not jumped in to the deep water quite as fast as I did. Knowing know what 14 years of marriage means....I wish I had a few of my 20's back to experience of few more of life's treasures as a single person.
Their is no right answer to your question. Only opinions. If there was one right answer- the rate of couples splitting up after 10 years would be a lot lower. Don't rush into a lifetime commitment. And do NOT push him into it. Take your time.
2006-08-14 16:25:43 · answer #1 · answered by Chris P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to sit him down and have a heart-to-heart conversation about marriage and committment. Tell him exactly how you feel without beating around the proverbial bush. Don't be pushy, but let him know what is on your mind and in your heart. If, after all is said and done, he still gives you the same old story - DUMP HIM!!! At this point he is not ready to commit to anyone or anything other than his own whims. If he is a mature man, and I highly doubt that he is at 24 years old, he will commit to and marry you. However, it sounds to me that he wants to remain free and easy and still have you around when the "mood" hits him. Examine your heart! If you feel as if he might not be sincere, then get out while the going is easy! If you push him now you will find yourself the recipient of a divorce decree shortly after you say, "I Do"!
2006-08-14 22:55:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just when does he expect to get this "really good job?" Why should he marry you when he has all the rights of a married man without having to make any of the commitments? Do yourself a favor and move out. This will give you a fast answer to the question "Does he love me enough to marry me?"
If he marries you then you get what you want. If he doesn't then you are free to find someone who is actually grown up enough to want to make a real commitment to the woman he loves.
2006-08-14 22:42:10 · answer #3 · answered by Ellen J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From experience, let that decision and the asking come from the man. Because if you pressure him, later on maybe he will throw i back in your face. You are young and should enjoy life to the fullest. Worry about marriage later. Do everything now that you have always wanted to do before the children and marriage come. So when you are my age or older you can look back and have to regets and wish you should have waited. From what you are saying he has excuses so that is a sign. Good luck!!!!
2006-08-14 22:49:46 · answer #4 · answered by lady d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a serious conversation with him. Write down a timeline of when you want to get married, buy a house, have children etc. If you want kids, tell him how mnay you want and by what age you want them by & you want to be married at least 1 year b4 having one... at least get a rouh draft of your future. Tell him that it's just an engagement and that all the luxuries can wait until he gets a better job..
2006-08-14 22:40:30 · answer #5 · answered by Wibble 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that he already has a good job and that u both are saving enough to start a family of ur own...but do not be too aggressive. if he still says that he is not ready then give him awhile more when he is promoted or sumthin
2006-08-14 22:41:20 · answer #6 · answered by rulewell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think he knows .. he aint ready either or he woudl ask u by now when they cant or wont live without u they will ask to mary u or live with u do u live with him ? if u do why buy the cow when the milk is free he thinks so um.. he wouldve let u know by now or ask how do u feel about us hun or will u marry me or move in with me.. if he hasnt dont push it yet 2 yrs aint nothing 3- 5 yea..
2006-08-14 22:38:51 · answer #7 · answered by gypsygirl731 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest and tell him how you feel,do not beat around the bush, if he loves you he will respond the way you think.If he is leading you on then it is time for you to move on with your life! Either love is real or it's not tell him and see what he say's good luck
2006-08-14 23:28:01 · answer #8 · answered by Jimmie W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure he's not taking the second step as because u r as silly as u sound. What a stupid question to ask. Go for it girl
2006-08-14 22:39:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just speak to him - If you both have good jobs now.......talk, work it out - if he's talking about this really good job.......then again, talk to him..............do not know what to say. If you want to be with him, then you will talk, and the same goes for him.
2006-08-14 22:52:02 · answer #10 · answered by mememe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋