My neighbor heard my daughter throwing a fit through the wall?

Question

we live in an apartment and my three year old daughter was in trouble for trying to bite me, I turned off her cartoons and she was throwing a tantrum. the next thing I know my neighbor was knocking on my door so that she could give my daughter and ice cream and tell her to start being good. this really made me mad. my question is should I of said something for her butting in? should I say something now? It was really none of her business that i was punishing my child but she seemed to think it was. This isn't the first time she has butt into my children's lives. We aren't even friends. How would you handle this situation?

Answer 1

I would politely tell her thank you, but you are handling the discipline of your child and later, when your daughter is behaving, she can visit the neighbor for a treat. Make sure your neighbor understands that you won't reward bad behavior. Be polite though, and smile if it kills you. If this neighbor wants to get snippy after that, then you can tell her to please mind her own business.

(at least that's what'd I do)

Answer 2

You need to go next door and talk to her when the kids are not around. But do it nicely, because if she is that nosey, she may retaliate by callind CPS on you, even if she has no real proof. Just tell her that while you appriciate her nice guestures, that you have a certain way that you raise your children, including how you disapline them, and that does not include rewarding them with ice cream for throwing a fit. Give her specific examples of how she has overstepped her boundaries, and if she gets pissy with you, then it is pointless to talk to her any longer. Just tell her at that point that she obviously isn't a reasonable person, and politely ask that from that point on she leave the raising of your kids up to you. And don't answer the door next time that she knocks on it?

Answer 3

I would say " I appreciate the concern but you have it under control. Thank you for the ice cream but right not she is being punished and she is not allowed any sweets. Maybe she can have it some other time." If that doesn't work then you need to be firm and say that this is your child and you do not need her help in raising them and you would appreciate it if she would butt out. And last of all next time do not open the door. I have family members like that. They think that because they are family they can interfere with the way that I choose to raise my kids and I was nice at first but I finally had to lay down the law and we are all better for it. GOOD LUCK.

Answer 4

I would have politely told her that she could NOT except the ice cream because she was being punished. And that I would appreciate that the next time she felt the need to bring one to call first. (I wouldn't cause a fight and accuse er of listing because after all you do have to live next to her.) Then I would say excuse me and shut the door. After a few times she just might give up and leave you alone. Just remember in this day and age you can't start a fight or argument, it's to dangerous. And you do have to teach your daughter how to handle a situation with dignity and grace.

Answer 5

yet another thing that sucks about living in an apartment... we also live in an apartment. and everybody knows every bodies business. you should have stopped her, and certainly should not have let your child have ice cream while being punished. but, in the heat of a crazy moment, we're not always thinking clearly. its probably best to just keep quiet or else you could cause an even larger confrontation.
just keep in mind next time youre dealing with a tantrum... nosey neighbor may return. be ready to tell her youve got things under control, and she could offer your daughter some ice cream when shes having a good day.
main thing... stop it when its happening. good luck!

Answer 6

My neighbors did the same thing with the ice cream. I didn't say anything, but I wish I would have. I don't know why I didn't...couldn't think fast enough, I guess, because I was so mad. If I had the chance again (in other words, if your neighbor does something like that again), I would definately say something. If anything, it will make you feel better.....then go have some ice cream!

Answer 7

I think that it may be a very tricky situation. If she feels you are unduly punishing your child she may call family services. I think you should ask her advice on a few of the problems this way making sure she is on your side not the child's when you are having problems like you have described. I am sure she is just trying to be help full and that would be a way she could feel help full and do the right thing also.

Answer 8

yes, I once lived in a university apartment, the dining rooms of two apartments were separated by a piece of wood paneling on each wall. I could hear my neighbors conversations clearly. Our newspaper was coming up missing each Sunday and Wednesday for a couple of months (sale ads on those days) and one day my daughter said loudly inside our apartment "Mom that woman next door was looking at your paper, i think she's been taking it" I told her to shush and not accuse someone, but got my paper each day from then on. One morning my daughter said something to me, the boy next door told her to shut up, and they started arguing through the wall, lol. oh how I hated those apartments.

Answer 9

It sounds as though you definitely have to say something to your neighbor especially if this has happened more than once.

I would go over to her apartment and tell her that you appreciate her concern and care for your daughters but as she is doing this it is undermining your authority.
As you are in the process of trying to correct and discipline inappropriate behavior, she is rewarding inappropriate behavior with ice cream.

Tell her that she is more than welcome to give your daughter treats and attention but it is to be for appropriate behavior only.

Try to be as positive as possible.
You may want to call her a meddling, intrusive, busy body but she may just be a concerned, caring neighbor who wants to help!

Answer 10

Oooh, that is tough!
Next time I would just say, no thanks, I have things under control. If she persists, you can use the fact that you're probably getting ticked off by that point as an opportunity to let her know that you have researched specific disciplinary methods for you child, and while her helpful intent is appreciated, you won't be needing any assistance with parenting your children.
I know that's probably easier said than done. Good luck, that would totally make me mad, even though they were just trying to help. It kind of undermines your authority.