how can i cope with the death of my dad?

Question

my dad died recently and although i am surrounded by a loving family and friends i find it diffficult to speak about how i'm feeling to them i don't know how to cope with it all i don't know what to do

Answer 1

Sorry to hear about the loss of your father. My mom passed away many years ago of cancer. The recovery of such a loss is quite often long and tedious, but it is a process that you must go through to be healthy and whole again. You will never forget your dad. The memories will stay with you forever. The best suggestion for you, would be to find someone who has an open-mind that you can talk to about your feelings. Grief counselling may be an option for you to consider. Most communities have programs in place that aid with bereavement and loss. Seek help if you desperately need it. I cannot emphasize the importance of this. Being grief-stricken can affect you for the rest of your life, especially if left untreated. When my mom passed away, I withdrew from my family and friends. I wish you the best of luck and sending you prayers of hope. Take Care and my sincerest best wishes.

Answer 2

I am so sorry for your loss. 12 years ago I lost my mom, she died when she was only 60. For sure you will not know how to cope. You will experience a whole ton of emotions. Know that none of the emotions you feel will be the "wrong" way to feel. Everyone handles grief differently. You feel as if your world has come to a stop and there is this awful feeling in your gut. Turn to your family and friends, in time. But no one should put pressure on you. Understand that things do get better with time. I was very close to my mom and thought I would never heal. I will never forget her and I am still saddened at times. But.. I have healed a great deal ! This will happen to you too, in time. Take care :)

Answer 3

I lost a very good friend that was like a brother to me just over 3 years ago. What I do is I try to remember the good times we had together, and even some of the times that I was mad at him for whatever reason to me that is why I haven't gone completely nuts. I was told once that I am a very empathetic person, which means that I really feel others pain as if it is my own whether a gift or a curse I must live with it. I also got a tattoo for my bro that is in a place that I must look at it everyday (left forearm), and where people can ask me about it and I can explain it as weird as it sounds talking to complete strangers about this very personal emotional experience has helped me more than I ever would have thought. Mainly because I get to talk about him and remember things that weren't immediately in my thought process. I wish you good luck in coping with this.

Answer 4

I am very sorry for your loss, but I understand how you must feel. Six years ago, I lost my dad due to multiple strokes, and eventually altymers set in as well, and even though he was weak, and did not know me all the time near the end, I tryed to make sure he had the best care I could get him, and did as much as I could for him. We were always very close when I was growing up, because I was an only child, and he always had time for me, and helped me with so many things. I loved him so much, and I always will, and I think of him everyday. If nothing else, we will always have the good memories. No one can ever take them away. Also, your loved one can visit you in your dreams! It may not be right after his death, but I know my dad did, and it seemed so real. Love never dies, and I truly believe that! Take care of yourself, and I truly understand the deep hurt and emptiness you must feel. Your father still loves you, and always will.

Answer 5

I am sorry for ur loss i totally understand what u r going through my dad died when i was 10 that was 12 years ago now the way i coped was to think of the good times i had with him rather than to think of what happened, I will admit there was some really bad times, when that happened i would go and visit hes grave and chat to him i know some people dont believe in doing that but i do, but the main thing that helped get through it was knowing that hes spirit will always be beside me.

I know there will be some bad times but it does get easier with time

Answer 6

I'm so sorry for your loss.I've experienced the loss of both parents in the space of 10 days so I can appreciate how you feel..You will go through many emotions and they are all normal.I found the more I could talk about my sense of loss the easier it was to come to terms with their death.When you think about your dad you will laugh, cry,you will feel comfort in good memories and will wish you had more time.Sometime you may even pick up the phone to relate some news and realize that your dad is no longer there.I made a scrapbook about my parents. I worked on it when I felt like it. Looking at pictures made me realize how fortunate I was to have had the time with them that I did.Remember your friends will be there for you and they don't expect you to entertain them.Sometimes you will just want someone to sit with you and not speak at all.Other times you will talk their ears off about your memories and you feelings.Allow people to help you through this difficult time.Chances are they are feeling a loss too .Remember sorrows shared are sorrows halved when they are shared.Give yourself time to grieve.My thoughts are with you.

Answer 7

It is always difficult when you lose someone you love especially when they are close to you. He is still with you. all I can tell you is from my experience unfortunately. I know when I lost my baby sister, it's been two years now, that I went through days of nothing but crying so much I swear my eyeballs were waterlogged as sometime wore on I was able to think of her without losing my composure;however to this day I have a hard time ,even now not to weep for her. how ever long it takes you to cope and live with this loss don't let anyone tell you how to grieve. Grieving is as personal and individual as we are.I personally have no intention of "getting over" my sister's death but I will validate her existance. Remember her birthday and remembering the good times ,talking to her(of course I don't expect an answer but ya never know) listen to our favorite songs. People pass from this life but if we keep them alive in memory, and live the life they would want us to they are never really gone.

Answer 8

You dont say how old you are, not that its really important, it is never easy to lose your dad. I lost mine when I was an adult, with 3 young children, and expecting no.4. It was devestating.
How to cope, well feel free to cry, scream or take out your frustration in a way that wont physically hurt you or anyone else. Beat up your pillow, bang your head on the bed. Tell people how you feel. Cry along with someone you else who also knew and loved your dad. Keep a photo close to hand (get one laminated if possible to protect it from your tears). Talk to your dad as if he was there,it helps you.People will not expect you to be brave.
Time does help, you will slowly begin to remember the good times you had and to be able to smile when you recall your dad. You will begin to be able to laugh with friends who also remember the good times.
This will not happen overnight.
Even now, (my son who never met his grandad is now 11) there are times when I long to share somthing with dad,but the deep pain has gone. I promise it will get better, but not right away.
If you have any faith in God talk to him too, shout at him about the unfairness of losing your dad, He will understamd.
Keep close to your family, they will be hurting just as bad as you.

-Remember, you have said how much your family all love you, that is important. If you cant talk to them, show them your post on ANSWERS, and let them know. There are people out here who feel for you too,

Answer 9

Dear Heidi, My condolences to you for your loss. My father passed away a year ago and I was really surprised at how it affected me. I am 51y/o and really didn't get to know the man my father was until the past 5 years of his life. We became very close and the loss I felt was very deep. It is hard to try and explain how you are feeling to others, even those you are so very close with, but just remember they are there for you and that they are hurting also. I would also say that if the tears come don't hold them back...let them fall. Tears can be very healing. Don't rush your healing time. One day you will discover that the pain of missing your Dad is not as strong as it once was. It doesn't mean you miss him any less...it just mean the healing process is going forward. Hang in there sweetie..I know it is so very hard, but your day will come when it won't hurt quite so bad...just give yourself the time. God bless you and give you His peace.

Answer 10

I can help you with this because I've lost my Grandma during Chinese New Year (If Death Happens, There will be NO more Chinese New Year Celebration for us Chinese). After the mourning period, I took the time to divert my attention by doing something that can give me something beneficial, eg. working hard on my freelance (legal, not decieving) business. It did pay off and I was very satisfied. Now, I don't feel sad anymore even though people about my grandma being gone. Also, going to the Church helps me a lot, pouring my sadness to my friends...