my bf and i dated 6 months then moved in 2gether. we lived 2gether 9 months until he decided living 2gether is wrong when ur not married. june 18th he moved out. he wants to marry me he's just not ready and he wanted to see what it was like to live alone because he never did that in his life.i was devastated. we love each other very much. i miss having him next to me in bed at night. he said we wont live 2gether again until were married and he feels hes getting closer to wanting to do that. not only when he left did he hurt my heart he hurt me financially. my bills are piling up. i want to get a roommate but i also want to keep the door open for him when hes "ready", which he says may be soon. after alot of thinking ive decided to set a time limit, but i'm not telling him. is it fair to give him one season to make up his mind? he moved out june 18 the beginning of summer, and i'm giving him until sept 23 the first day of fall. After that i will put him completely out of my life.
2006-08-14 14:47:59 · 18 answers · asked by Sue M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
btw hes 40 and im 41 i also have 2 teenage boys involved who really like him
2006-08-14 14:49:34 · update #1
If you are willing and capable of putting him completely out of your life because he won't do something that is against his values and/or because your bills are piling up, I doubt seriously that your love for him is real. I'm not so sure that you deserve a man with such high values!
2006-08-14 14:58:07 · answer #1 · answered by funlady6632@yahoo.com 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at that age, i never would believe he wants to see what its like to be alone. did he just move out from his parents house. never put a time limit on a relationship or conditions as you will lose everytime. you can get a temp roommate until you guys decide. was he ever married before or lived with a gal before you? no one dates for awhile then moves in and then decides its wrong until your married. its something else or he may feel you just want him to help with the bills. having kids and he never had any could be scarying him away. talk to him without any conditions.
2006-08-14 14:58:19 · answer #2 · answered by hollywood71@verizon.net 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that he's playing you but the problem w/ this on your end is that you no longer have the financial support he was providing, and since y'all aren't married you have to understand that before he came along you had certain living arrangements that you could afford to raise your kids in & probably should have stayed in that range especially since it seems per your description that everythings in your name.
Gotta always have a plan B (and sometimes C) because if things between you too were the opposite you'd still be in this situation. Good Luck.
2006-08-14 15:45:50 · answer #3 · answered by NicNac 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Giving him time is the right thing to do-but 3 months wont do it. I bet he has been burned in the past ( I was, and my now wife of 16 years hadda work with me 2 years). I think if he is worth waiting for, a year would be better. Do you want to invest your life in a man who STILL isn't sure, and felt little pressure? You're on the right track in my opinion, but take a little more time while you're at it.
2006-08-14 14:54:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you really listened to your self, you sound like a teenager. Get a grip woman. Sounds like he is not ready for the commitment, and if you push him into it then it will definitely not work. If you really think it is worth the time then wait, but when the time comes cut it lose or you'll really regret it.
2006-08-14 14:56:43 · answer #5 · answered by BIGRED 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really sounds like he has made his mind up by moving out after he has had a taste of the real relationship.I think he is just putting you on.After living together it's just like a husband walking out on you and the kids.Dump him find someone who really cares.
2006-08-14 14:56:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your age surprised me. I thought this was a question from a teenager. Not that that would have made any difference to my answer. Forget about this guy. He is cruel and manipulative and certainly not ready for marriage.
2006-08-14 14:57:27 · answer #7 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"living 2gether is wrong when ur not married."
this line tells you all you need to know.
2006-08-14 14:51:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say this, but I think you can wait 6 seasons and it's not going to happen.
2006-08-14 14:55:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl, it seems to me like he is playin you. i mean he lived with you for 9 months, then decided to move out. thats just nonsence. dont let him do you that way, it seems like he is trying to break up with you and keeps delaying it. i know cuz i did the same to someone. then i met someone new and it wasnt so hard to do it. if i were you id break up with him before he breaks up with you.
2006-08-14 14:54:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋