I've been for around 2 years and a half with my girlfriend and she's living w me (In my house actually) and we developed together a very dependent relationship. We spend too much time and projects toghether... and I feel horrible coz I want to be alone, and spliting up would be unbearable 4 her. She threatened me with killing herself when we were about to split one year ago... Don't know what to do.... I don't enjoy sex anymore... my life's becoming miserable and feels like s* hit. Help??
2006-08-14 13:51:40 · 12 answers · asked by colodoco's 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
one day when she is at work move into an appartment and don't leave a forwarding address
2006-08-14 13:56:58 · answer #1 · answered by Michael 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound like you're addicted to each other and then she pulls the major control threat with she'll kill herself if you break up with her. I feel for ya. But if you want your life back you're gonna have to take control. Involve as many people as the two of you know into this drama don't leave anything out...especially the part where she threatens to kill herself. Get yourself some private counseling. don't say or think it's not affordable many therapists see people for short term therapy to assist them in working put life issues such as yours. And, they have a sliding fee scale.Again I urge you to make yourself afford it skip going out for a month cut back in some other area where you can to pay for the help you need, a professional will help make a huge difference in how you can retrieve happiness in your life. Don't have sex if you don't enjoy it any more women process sex as a bonding experience. It is probably sending her messages of hope in her twisted thought process. You need to act... and hopefully sooner rather than later you can have a rational discussion about her moving out of your house!
2006-08-14 21:10:14 · answer #2 · answered by Brains & Beauty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is Tough. It sounds like black mail. Can you talk to her? You've got to tell her how you feel. Tell her that you need space. I hope she is working and can support herself. Maybe give her time to find her own place. If you give her a time to get out, then you have to stick to it. She has to see that you are serious not only from your words, but your actions as well. Good Luck. This won't be the easiest thing you have ever done, and especially, if you still have feelings for her.
If you were married, there would be a commitment, but that is not the road the two of you chose. She is the one responsible for herself and her actions.
2006-08-14 21:03:46 · answer #3 · answered by kayboff 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i dont believe in cheating, but you should really tell her how you feel, tell her that you are unhappy with your life and that if she truely loves you then she will do whatever it takes to make you happy. your own happiness is important although i know how it would feel to have someone to take their life over something like that. but if you broke up before and all she did was threaten then that maybe all she would do this time. or there is another solution--be a selfish slob that does nothing. do all the things that she cant stand and maybe after she has had enough she will break up with you. i know something that makes lots of girls mad is when their boyfriend has friends (that are girls)that are prettier than them. so if you have friends that are girls (or if you dont, make some) have them to call you alot and just sit and talk on the phone to them all the time. i would leave my boyfriend if that happened. hope i helped a little.
2006-08-14 21:02:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just got out of a relationship like that - just not as serious. He was like your girlfriend, but I was going off to college so we werent living together or anything like that.
Plan it out first, what you are going to do when its over. And then just tell her that you had a good relationship, but its dying down and comming to an end. Sometimes stuff like that happens, and its better to break it off before you hate eachother.
And I know its hard to dump someone if you are afraid that they will kill themselves, but heres the thing. If they are that depressed, they would probably do it anyway. And besides that, when all fails the only thing left in your life is you. Even your friends and family can fail you, but you will always be around. Look out for your happiness before others. If giving up a tiny bit of your hapiness will make her much happier, thats one thing. But making yourself miserable because you are afraid of what could happen is another. What she does with her body is her responsibility, what you do with your life is yours.
2006-08-14 20:59:15 · answer #5 · answered by Man Coon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't stay just because she's threatening herself. If you do, she will have an upper hand on everything in your relationship for as long as you're together.
If you suspect that she will do this, I would recommend planning what you're going to say. Stay calm, don't fall into the "I'll kill myself if you leave..." comments. Expect that. Respond by telling her that you thought she might say that, so after you're done talking, you will be calling her family/friends to tell them what she's said because you're concerned about her well-being and you don't want anything to happen to her. (If she's just faking it, that will straighten her RIGHT up. She won't want her family/friends to hear that.) If she still threatens it, call the police and tell them that she is threatening to commit suicide and you're afraid to leave her without her having an evaluation.
I know, I know. Seems all involved, but you CANNOT under any circumstances, allow someone to RUN YOUR LIFE. You can't do it.
Take care.
2006-08-14 20:58:43 · answer #6 · answered by lauriejustlaurie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, "tramatical" isn't a word.
Secondly, break up with her. If you're not happy then you need to get yourself out of the situation. Give her the business card of a good therapist and send her on her way- she's dependent and manipulative and you deserve better.
2006-08-14 20:57:30 · answer #7 · answered by Not Allie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was in the same situation as you were about 5 years ago and one night i just broke it off. he threatened to kill himself too and i dared him to do it cuz i knew he wasn't that stupid. life will go on for her and you shouldn't worry about what will happen to her after the breakup. sometimes you have to be selfish and do whats right for you. just do it and promise yourself you won't go back. find someone you truly love and be happy.
2006-08-14 20:58:07 · answer #8 · answered by ImJustHonest 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to sit her down, and tell her what the problem is. and if she doesn't understand that, you need to move on with your life. she's not going to kill herself, she's just saying that to get your attention
2006-08-14 20:56:41 · answer #9 · answered by Aneesha T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow!That's a tough one.
I would just leave. You are not responsible for her happiness.
Good luck!
2006-08-14 20:56:28 · answer #10 · answered by tina m 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋