Is there something wrong with me?

Question

ok well my boyfriend and i have a great relationship and i really love him a lot! but i just have such a hard time believing what he really loves me! i do have really really low self esteem and i want that to change because it seems like i always diss myself about everything!!! i just want to know how i can get over my low self esteem, ive had bad relationships in the past and ive been hurt a lot and now that ive actually found a wonderful guy i keep thinking he can do so much better than me and that i dont deserve him!! is there something wrong with me?? i dont do it for attention or anything i just have really low self esteem and like no confidence in myself!!! what can i do to try and change?

Answer 1

low self esteem doesn't happen overnight and neither does getting over it. You were probably criticized allot as a kid. Being teased doesn't help either. I'm no expert but there is a method that's called self affirmation. Make a list of the things that you LIKE about yourself
for example.

I'm nice....honest....careing....smart....funny....
anything that fits.
think about it!!! come up with as many as you can. Now here comes the uncomfortable part. stand in front of a mirror and say OUTLOUD, what you wrote down. for instance...
"I'm a really nice girl / woman / guy people that get to know me think I'm so honest and careing"

You don't have to say eveything on the list every time. Rotate the compliments. Do this at least once a day!!!! If you don't have a place where you do this without someone hearing you and feeling silly, turn on some music or the t.v to drown your voice a little. At first this will feel strange. Try to get to the point where you can say these things with a smile an feel good about it. This is going to take time and depending on how deep rooted your lack of self esteem is you may need more help LISTEN TO THIS .........NEVER SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF...DO YOU HEAR ME??????? STOP TODAY!!!! Talking bad about yourself if very bad for you. REMEMBER the more you hear it the more it becomes a part of you.
YOUR GREAT!!!! TELL YOURSELF THAT

Answer 2

You should focus on yourself before you drag another person into your self-loathing cycle. The only thing I can suggest is counseling. I forsee you both having problems because of your low self-esteem. If you can't love yourself, then how can you expect to effectively love another person? You should take time out of your relationship and focus on your own problems for a change. Once you figure it out, then you would be ready for a relationship. Until then, you're going to have problems with any relationship you get into.

Answer 3

First, you probably have low self esteem because of the other bad relationships you've had in the past. Don't sell yourself short... if you weren't good enough for the guy that you're with... he wouldn't be with you! Try to see something good in yourself every day, and day by day you will finally see what you bf sees...beauty inside and out!

Answer 4

The only thing I could tell you is, be that open with your boyfriend. Confide in him about your low self esteem, how you feel and the reason for it. Talk to him and allow him to reassure you of his feelings towards you. With that and time, you're bound to get over your low self esteem. Ultimately, you need to convince yourself that you deserve this wonderful guy.

Answer 5

Many girls deal with low- self esteem all the time. Remember that their is nothing wrong with you, and no guy is too good for you. Always build yourslef, and never tear yourself down. With the addtion of past loss, it seems that your feeling that if one wrong turn was to be made, then you would lose everything. That this boy would leave you, and never speak to you again. That you would lose your wonderful experience that you both share. This of course seems like the right thing; as if worrying would fix all problems. Remeber that realtionships are never fool- proff, and never really take on the wonder as you have put as this relationship as been doing. remember that love is but a sense and not a unviersal thing. In other words, this particular boy may not be in love with, or he may be using you. Of course hearing this, you think to yourself that you may never find true love. That's is where you are wrong. In fact, many relationships, if not all run on a rickety bridge, even if they seem not to. What you are going through is practically normal. In fact, those who do not think this way, do not neccessarly not go through the same problems that you are going through. Sometimes couples may seem to be going well, but in fact are very destructive in truth. To not get you down with all the details of dating, let me tell you that stopping thinking like this will not take any danger of dating away. In fact, know the danger that is involved in dating, but do not allow yourself to become weak by a boy. Always remember that those few people who allow theirselves to be strong, and not let the foolishness of others bring them down, live much healthier lives than those doing otherwise. No boy is that special, just as no women is as important than anyother. Do not let dating get you down. enjoy for what it is, and not what it can become. Those that truelly love you would never hurt you. Those that have hurt you in the past are in no means worrying about. Sometimes we let our past experiences ruin new ones. These problems may run this new boy off, but remember; be strong, and be confident in your own actions. also know that dating does not determine any type of long- term failure or success. In other words, it's more or less a game of popularity, if you must.

Answer 6

I am a confident person but still feel the same about my boyfriend. That he doesn't care about me the way I care about him. That's probably only becasue guys dont show how they feel very often. Anyways, I don't think there is anything wrong with you, you just need to boost your self-esteem. A good way to do it is to get in shape, start running or biking, make goals and achieve them. Good luck!

Answer 7

focus on whuts in ur life right now not past relationships. tell urself all the good things about u and think of how proud u r that u were brave enough to get over those bad relationships and u have such a good guy. always think positive ;)

Answer 8

Well, I cant really answer this question. but i have been in a relationship where I thought the guy really loved me and he acted as he did. He brought everything from a-z and took me out many weekends, but he didnt really love me. He left me and he is getting married next month. Is this really love, but not all men are that way. Well, just give him some space but keep your guards up.

Answer 9

There's nothing wrong with you at all. Of course, you have a right to be apprehensive..you've been burned before. However, this is a sign of depression, and the best way to take care of that is seek professional help and do it soon, or it may be too late and you may end up losing him. I'm not trying to say this to hurt your feelings, but I'm just trying to be honest with you.

Answer 10

you have to find yourself .Oviously your a great person, you have a greay boyfriend. Write in your journal make a list of all your qualities and things you would like to change. You won't find yourself overnight. take it a day at a time. Just be yourself and tell your boyfriend how you feel. the person you love should always make you feel good about yourself. good luck.