i'm in the middle of trying to get cousty of my child back but my the other party seams to think i'm not a good mother becuse of a drug habit i use to have but i have been clean for over a year and a half and have always put my child first and have always been there for her i just wanted to know others thoughts on what makes a good mother so i could see if ther really is something i'm doing wrong.
2006-08-14 13:15:30 · 19 answers · asked by lovingmother 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
congratulations on been clean for a year n a half.....dont give up you keep fighting for your daughter no matter what having a habit and getting over it doesn't make you a bad mother you have learnt by your mistakes keep going forward you have everything to gain your a beautiful mother dont let anyone tell you otherwise...: )
2006-08-14 13:24:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
A good mother would not have done drugs in the first place. And you said that you always put you daughter first how could you when you were doing drugs and that came before your child. And you say your other party like you are with another woman. And you claim to be getting your life together. Live alone and try to make a home for her with out other people. She needs your total attention not just go to your room I'll talk to you latter. A mother puts down her life for her child.
2006-08-14 20:30:25 · answer #2 · answered by winnp1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you had a drug habit, people have a hard time forgetting about the times you were doing drugs and a year and a half isn't really that long. Also, if you were doing drugs you can't really say that you always put your kids first because your drug habit came first-right? Part of the recovery process is being accountable for your past transgressions and it could take some time to make it right again. Be patient and stay clean!
2006-08-14 20:22:15 · answer #3 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Agood mother is someone who is alway's there for their child. Show your child disipline. Show her that you care by listening to what she has to say and help her with her homework. no one can tell you how to be a mother. It comes from your heart and you have to learn alot on your own. Being a user of drugs is a big deal but if you have been clean then you shouldn't have anything to worry about. If you are there for your daughter then she will let these other people know that she wants to be with you. don't let them keep her from you. you are her mother and even though you did drugs once doesn't mean you don't deserve a second chance. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you have learned from your experiences because your daughter is worth more than any drug. Prove that to her and I'm sure you will succeed in getting custody of her. God bless and Goodluck.
2006-08-14 20:43:25 · answer #4 · answered by greeneyes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great question - in today's world I definitely don't see Mrs Cleaver winning the best mom award. It's not just about being at home all day waiting for the kids to get home with a fresh plate of chocolate chip cookies.
A good mom is someone that prioritizes their family first and is present in their kids lives. Someone that's not afraid to get their hands dirty with play doh or paint or that will sit on the floor and play cars or a game. Someone that listens when their kids have something to say and offers advice when asked for. Someone that is interested in their kids opinions and respects their kids ideas and instills values they will carry through adult life. Someone that teaches their kids how to think and act responsibly. Someone that sets boundaries and limits to ensure their kids live in a safe environment. Allows their eyes to light up when their kids walk into a room - something that every child (kid to grown up) looks for and gets assurance and self respect from their parents. Someone that provides empathy to their kids when something negative happens but is also able to discipline their kids in a positive environment.
2006-08-14 23:17:06 · answer #5 · answered by Cliffette Claven 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you in getting clean!!!!!!!!!!!!! Does you mother or your ex have custody? If either does, go to court and tell the truth to the judge. I can almost promise you that you can at least start out with 1/2 custoday if you stay clean and honest with the judge. Who knows??? maybe someone good in your family could help keep your child when you are working. Keep trying to be the best mom and you WILL be rewarded....hang in there. Be proud of yourself for what you have accomplished.
2006-08-14 20:43:45 · answer #6 · answered by Cassie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the fact that you are trying to be a perfect mother, makes you ALREADY a good mother.
Some points-which you may be already observing- that a good mother take care of:
* Stay away off cigarette....if you are a smoker...stop RIGHT NOW.
* Keep the house clean and tidy at all times
* Refrain from using "foul words" like the "F" word.
* If your kid is in school period, pay good attention to his/her achievement and attitude,...interven when something goes wrong...and praise when things goes right.
* Don't talk badly about your partner infront of your kid.
.......
i checked out the internet for you, and found this cool group..it's a support group for mothers..
That's the web site for this group
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mothering_without_a_map/
and that's the web page for the lady who manages this group, and she was interviewed on NBC's TODAY show in the US
http://www.kathrynblack.com/index.htm
Good luck...and i have no doubt that you'll make it !
2006-08-14 20:46:41 · answer #7 · answered by Sheefa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, in my oppinion being a good mother is what you have done if you put your child first. people make mistakes sometimes and i know that you are not the only person that used to have the drug prob. if you are not on drugs now, then the people who have your child are probly just saying you are not a good enough mother simply because they are thinking you are a good mother and are trying to make you think your not just because they think you will be able to get your child back. maybe they are just scared.
2006-08-14 20:23:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Everybody makes mistakes. Hopefully you can get your child back. If you have been clean for over a year and a half, then you should be fine. Just don;t try drugs again!!
2006-08-14 20:19:34 · answer #9 · answered by miseriacantare1828 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1. Love your child.
2. Make sure that she knows that you love her.
3. Give her stuff, small things does not have to be big.
4. Take her out - museums, park, theme parks, mountains, restaurants, etc.
5. Listen to what she has to say.
6. Give discipline
7. Don't give her everything.
8. Be there every time she needs you
2006-08-14 20:22:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋