My mother has repeatedly stepped into my life and made it hell. IE: she "thought" I was doing drugs because I lost weight yet knew I had been exercising every night for three months..duh! Anyhow she took this to court (without my knowledge) and used it against me to have kids taken away. That is just one example! I took drug tests & got copies of work drug tests as well to prove her wrong, but she just won't stop putting me down etc and has turned my sis's & brothers against me with her bs. How can I confront her once and for all yet not be mean about it?
2006-08-14 13:07:46 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You need to exclude her from your life. My mother became impossible to deal with and I just didn't call her for a year. I changed my address and phone number. After that year was up, I contacted her again, and she and I have a pretty decent relationship now. Confronting her won't help matters. She knows what she did, and you know that she knows. Confrontation will only lead to one hell of an argument and won't solve anything. Just (I know it's hard) don't have anything to do with her for awhile. Any one who will lie to have your kids taken away doesn't deserve your presence in her life.
2006-08-14 13:13:27 · answer #1 · answered by rita_alabama 6 · 7⤊ 1⤋
She sounds honestly malicious. Perhaps the best point could be made by breaking off contact and moving somewhere else. If she's a decent person at heart, not having you and your family around might make her realize that what she did was wrong. If she isn't a good person, then it's best not to be involved with her, mother or no. There's a difference between being nosy and involved and going to the legal system behind a family member's back.
Maybe she's just having some psychological issues of her own right now and will get through them on her own.
Good luck, sounds as though you need it!
2006-08-14 20:14:58 · answer #2 · answered by KyLeth 4 · 7⤊ 0⤋
You may have to just be mean about it. She has already hurt you and the kids and that is totally unacceptable even if it was just for a little bit. It sounds as though your mom is mentally unstable or maybe she is just evil. Either way, for you and your kids, her feelings don't matter anymore. Tell her to bug-off or just don't let her in your lives anymore. If she continues to maliciously interfere through the courts etc, get help from victim sevices or a lawyer. As children we want approval and acceptance from our parents and as adults we continue to want that but we have to accept that some parents just suck. You need to stop being a daughter and worrying about your mother's acceptance and make being a mom your priority. Your children will be healthier if you can focus on what you need to and not have other drama.
PS. It is really hard, my mom has some mental issues and has a pathological need to interfere. It was really hard to just tell her that I am an adult and no longer need or welcome her interference but would like to be her friend. She still doesn't always respect or listen to that, but I have learned how to hang up, walk out, and let go.
Best of luck.
2006-08-14 20:20:27 · answer #3 · answered by Huggles-the-wise 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked with your brothers and sisters without her and expressed your feelings and how much it hurts for her to do this. If they think you are on the "wrong track", then maybe you need to prioritize your life again. Maybe, you are not putting your children first in your life, which is what they deserve. If you are doing that, suggest to your siblings that your Mom get some professional help.......she is either very vindictive or she's right. Only you and your mom know the truth.
2006-08-14 20:17:40 · answer #4 · answered by Cassie 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why not be mean? You have every right to be angry if it went down as you say. Get your kids back, and move away-leave no forwarding address. If someone in your life abuses you and this is abuse, you do not need to continue a relationship with that person. For your own health, move on.
2006-08-14 20:16:35 · answer #5 · answered by chris 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Take your kids and go to other state so she does not bother you. If you stay close to her, she will make your life impossible
Family and sun are good when they are very very far away...this is applied to you.
She will cause you legal problems, she will talk down about you with your kids...I think this is very possible. So get out of your state and she gets lost.
About your brothers and sisters try to talk to them for they get you and explain them why you are leaving your state.
Oh don't confront her, she is too old to change. Simple tell her you are an adult and you want her out of your life.
2006-08-14 20:15:10 · answer #6 · answered by C6 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Take her to court and show the judge the drug test papers and prove her wrong. good luck
2006-08-14 20:20:07 · answer #7 · answered by ferniemagernie7 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
did u know u can get a divorce from ur mum all u need to do is go to court explain them ur situation and theyll help u out u dont have to worry if ur not doing anything wrong .... bt if u use to in the pass then it will help if u admit to the court dat u were wrong in the pass bt now uve changed for ur kids and stay far away from ur mum ....
2006-08-14 20:16:59 · answer #8 · answered by jenn 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you need to get out of contact with this woman forever. I'm sorry to say this. Do yourself a favor and take a long hard look into Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Even if she doesn't have this disorder, your mom is dealing you abuse. She is abusing you and your children, attacking your reputation and your well-being. Abusers know no boundaries.
2006-08-14 20:16:19 · answer #9 · answered by jennifae 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Mother or not, you need to get away from this woman, as far away as possible. She is going out of her way to attack you and make your life a living hell. Don't bother confronting her, it will just escalate the situation. Get away from her, now.
2006-08-14 20:13:42 · answer #10 · answered by Bethany 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋