should I be upset with him?

Question

I think my boyfriend was with a girl that I know a long time ago (before I knew him) He won't admit it but everyone thinks something happened. I am starting to get annoyed with her, the other day she told someone she can get what she wants from him, and it's pissing me off when they talk. Should I be getting pissed about it?

Answer 1

sounds kinda shady to me, dont get too pissed just try to sort things out first.

Answer 2

Should you be upset with him? The fact is you're feeling upset with him. Emotions aren't rational but if you're uncomfortable feeling upset with him and this other girls behavior is annoying you---- you have a right to your feelings.The question is how do you move through them instead of letting them fester and consume you...here's my suggestion first have a talk with the boyfriend, (ALONE) spell out what's up to him .Guys just don't process things the same way girls do. tell him how you feel about what you've heard! Ask for feedback from him. if you have to set boundaires in your relationship to him tell him if he continues a certain behavior in relation to this other girl what the consequences of his behavior will be. The bottom line is you don't like how you're feeling because of what's going on between the two of them and you're not willing continue with things as they are. Tell him not only what you've heard but also what she's said to you. Give him the clearest picture you can of what's happening from your perspective. When you're finished ask him questions to see if he absorbed what you've said. If he totally can't comprehend what you've said and doesn't show you the respect you want and need it may be time for the relationship to shift gears....when and if you seeing them talking and it pisses you off--- stop looking, change the direction of where you're sitting or walking..gosh if something upsets you on TV don't you change the channel? Same in real life you can uninvolve yourself from this drama. You can disengage from participating in their whole scene...there are always new freinds to make ...if anyone starts to tell you the scoop on what she/ or he has said practice saying: "you know what I don't want to hear or talk about them. I just don't want to be part of their drama!" Good luck!!!

Answer 3

Well if it happend before you shouldn't be pissed off at him. You should talk to him seriously and tell him to tell you the truth about it and tell him that it is really bugging you that that girl he once when out with or not is spreading ruhmmors around, and that you want to know about it. If he won't answer you, its porabably because he wants to forget about it. Wait a couple of days after this talk if it doesnt work. Then go up to that girl and ask her what she wants, and why she is spreading ruhmors ( DONT FIGHT WITH HER, BE mature.)

Answer 4

So far, it is telling more about you than about him. You don't know any "facts". Yet you are going the "upset/pissedoff " route. Are you so insecure? The problem may be more about you. That's not to say there is not something going on, just you are showing a side of yourself that is not in control. Just stay cool. The facts will unfold. And your throwing jealousy/temper tantrums will not help the relationship (unless he is ,shall we say, somewhat dysfunctional ).
A couple of questions for you. Who is this great "they" that has omniscient knowledge of all things? And why wouldn't "she" have a vested interest in breaking you guys up, and it therefore be in her interest to say anything, knowing that you are emotional enough (read emotionally immature enough) to take the bait?

Answer 5

I'm so sick of people not getting on the person that might be cheating. Screw the other girl and what she's saying, confront your man and tell him you don't want him spending quality time with her.

If he does or if he said it's innocent, tell him you feel uncomfortable. Obviously something is going on. Don't be a stooge. He sounds like a classic guy so be prepared to move on if he plays head games.

Answer 6

SOunds like she is the type of girl who is only interested in your boyfriend now what he has a new girlfriend.

I would talk to your boyfriend about her, and tell him the things she has said, and tell him that if there is anything going on with her that you want him to tell you right now becasue if you find out later, you'll knock his block off for stringing you along.

Answer 7

No you shouldn't. I mean if you trust your man then don't be overly jelous of something that happened before you. The only way you should get mad is if his talking to her starts to effect the relationship that you currently have with him. Don't go off the deep end complaing about somethig that might not be there. That might be the momentum she's looking for, for you to push him closer to her. You should talk to him before you can't stand it anymore and blow up and he ends up with her.

Answer 8

She is just being a trouble maker. He must have not thought much about her since he is denying he dated her before. She is trying to spread rumors around so it will get back to you. Talk to your boyfriend about it and tell him it's going to mess up your relationship. You need to tell him to tell her to her face to quite spreading rumors about him. You should be there with him when he tells her. If he cares for you he will do it to keep your relationship together!

Answer 9

you have right to doubt everyone does but unless you have some physical proof, or if something like this has happened before you dont want to be wrong and ruin something good.

Answer 10

Don't get pissed at him, he can't help what she's saying, get pissed at her and tell her to knock it off.