Ever heard this joke???

Question

A woman was walking down the street when she was approached by a man. The man said, "I must have you right now! I'll drop $500 on the ground at your feet and in the time it takes for you to pick it up I can have my way with you from behind!"

The woman thought it over and told the man to wait a minute. She called her girlfriend on her cell phone and told her about the man's proposition. Her girlfriend said "When he drops the $500 on the ground I'm sure you can pick it up and run before he gets his pants down. Call me back and tell me what happened."

An hour and a half later the lady called her girlfriend back. "What happened?" the girlfriend asked.

The lady said "That jerk had $500 in quarters!"

Answer 1

Yup, it's a blondie joke. Funny! :-)

Answer 2

no longer the funniest 'ever' yet i will inform you the final i've got heard of contemporary - a guy walks right into a pub and sits down. The barman asks if he could like a drink, he thank you him and asks for a lager. They communicate, and comedian tale and as quickly as the guy has finished his drink the barman requests his funds. the guy, despite the fact that, refuses. He replies 'I got here into this bar, and you presented me a drink Now, you mentioned no longer something approximately funds. in case you have been to stroll right into a bar and get presented a drink, could you assume to could pay afterwards? look, i'm a criminal professional. you may take this greater, yet i can inform you this for unfastened - you do not have a leg to stand on.' The barman, apoplectic, demands the guy bypass away and on no account come decrease back. the guy does so. each and every week later, the comparable guy returns to the bar. The barman at contemporary demands he bypass away as quickly as back, yelling the possibilities at him and rambling approximately how he had conned him out of his funds. despite the fact that, the guy seems baffled. 'i do no longer understand what you're speaking approximately. I rather have on no account been here in the previous in my life.' at first, the barman refuses to believe it, yet ultimately he does and seems somewhat embarrassed. 'Oh. nicely then..i'm sorry. you will have a double.' 'thank you'. spoke back the guy, 'i will have a whisky'.

Answer 3

Funny

Answer 4

Looks like the same one that I posted about 3 hours ago.

Answer 5

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself 'She'll never go for me carrying on like that,' so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans, and shortly after that they got married.
A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had three extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he farted. He 'putted' down one hill and 'putt-putted' up the next. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.

His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, 'Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!' She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and she went to answer the phone.

While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but *ripe* as a rotten egg.

He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and 'rrriiiipppp!' It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another urge coming. He shifted his weight to his other leg and let go. This was a real blue ribbon winner; the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead. While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and fanning them each time with his napkin.

When he heard the 'phone farewells' (indicating the end of his loneliness and freedom) he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. After assuring her he had not, she removed the blindfold and yelled, 'Surprise!'

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

Answer 6

No I have not heard that joke before. LMAO!!!!!!!!! That is so hilarious, I fell out of my chair for a moment because I laughed so hard.

Answer 7

No, I haven't. Cute! Hahahahaha! I bet that makes you feel better, because people are always giving ME mean answers. Hehehehe!

Answer 8

i've heard this except it was 200 bucks and it was in pennies

Answer 9

No but it's funny lol wer did u hear it?

Answer 10

damn girl where you get this jokes from I like them all. I read all of them.