Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
2006-08-14 11:31:05 · 20 answers · asked by mka1369 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
No I didn't come up with it myself, I found it on funnyjunk.com, It's a funny site, check it out.
2006-08-14 11:52:23 · update #1
very good.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp
Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..
2006-08-16 20:13:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Haha, that was really funny. Made me laugh a lot. My favorites were:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
Thanks for the funnies!
2006-08-14 13:00:44 · answer #2 · answered by x 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good! Tried to find you some similar on the net and came across this Advice Bunny, see link below. Well worth a go, ask it a question, like the magic 8 ball and receive a random answer that may or may not fit - well, you seemed like you were bored!
2006-08-14 11:53:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was the one who got paid to do the American Airlines packet of nuts.
2006-08-14 11:42:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol me likey lol ugh between the signs on churches and these i have a lot to wonder about lol church sign "the most powerful position is on your knees" "The tongue is in a wet place and slips easily" "A loose toungue often gets in a tight place" lol ♥
2006-08-14 11:51:14 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my god. this was really funny. thanks! i started reading and i thought "On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)" was really funny but they all made me laugh!
2006-08-14 12:07:23 · answer #6 · answered by cecelafleur 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's hilarious!!! I was really gloomy today, so thanks for cheering me up!!!!!! LOL!!! I liked the dial soap and AA packet of nuts ones. Have a great day!!!
2006-08-14 11:59:57 · answer #7 · answered by smile_with_the_sun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a good one!
I was going to post it myself, but I won't do that now.
Thanks for sharing, I like good jokes.
2006-08-14 15:41:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats the funniest thing i have heard in a while
2006-08-14 12:28:27 · answer #9 · answered by Zan k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol hahaha lmao rotf funny hahahahahaa hilarious was it from a site or did you find out for yourself if you did awesome!!!
2006-08-14 11:44:40 · answer #10 · answered by ♥*~me~*♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋