I'm 23 and have been shy all my life and never had a girlfriend. So I've had sex with escorts. We always use protection. I don't believe there is anything morally wrong with having sex with prostitutes, as long as it's consensual and the girl is of legal age and was not forced into it. The escorts I've seen are professional and mostly very nice people, and my experiences with them have actually been educational and helped me overcome some of my shyness and insecurity about myself.
However, it's still not something I'm proud of (because it would be nice if I could get sex without having to pay for it). And so I haven't told anyone about it. When people ask I pretend I'm still a virgin (which I am, in a relationship sense).
But when I finally DO begin dating, I'm afraid my girlfriend will be able to tell that I'm not a virgin (because I've had so much practice by now) and she will ask about my former sex partners. Should I still tell her I'm a virgin, or tell her the truth?
2006-08-14 11:09:56 · 16 answers · asked by cambridgebrian 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
so....most people seem to be saying that I shouldn't lie and say I'm a virgin.
I like that, because I don't like lying.
But what if she wants to know who I've had sex with? She probably will know that I've never had a girlfriend before because that sort of thing will probably come out in conversation.
Won't she think it's a little weird that I've never had a girlfriend, yet I have had sex?
If I really found a girl I was serious about and was in a commited LTR, I think I would definitely tell her about the prostitutes (which, at that point, would purely be a thing of the past), because any girl that I would really be serious about would be the kind of girl who would understand and accept that. So I would definitely tell her the truth then.
What I'm more concerned about is early in the relationship, when its still new, should I keep it sort of a secret then, while I'm still getting to know her, so that I don't scare her off or make her think I'm some kind of pervert (which I'm not).
2006-08-14 11:21:54 · update #1
You are not a virgin anymore, so don't pretend to be when you get a girl friend. On the other hand, it is not her business who the women are that "broke you in",nor their names or that they were professional. If you have to tell her anything, just let her know that she is not the first, and let it go at that. If she insists on knowing, then she has a problem. You are worrying about something that hasn't even happened yet, so relax. By the way, prostitutes are "real girls" too, unless you have the blow up kind!
2006-08-14 11:26:52 · answer #1 · answered by macfifty06 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well that is a little sad You should be able to have sex without having to pay for it. Why aren't you REALLY dating is the better question. When you do find the girl you are looking for she will know. And she will have questions. I am not sure if you should just come out with all that but lies will only hurt you And protection doesn't always work so please be careful. At least you are having fun learning
2006-08-14 11:19:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u shoudlnt tell her. your not lying, but seriously. in all honesty. think about it. would a girl really still look at u the same way when she realizes you've been with hookers? the girl would mind dude. she might not say it, she might even go and say oh its ok. but in the back of her mind. it will always be there.
what peopel dont know wont hurt them. look, u did what u had to do. i feel the same way. for guys like us, sometimes escorts are the only way to go, or how else are we gonna get laid, but it dont mean the whole world needs to know about it.
whenever the virgin question comes up, u just say, well i dont ask u do i? let the sex history be a thing of the past.
remember, what people dont know. cant hurt them.
keep it to yourself. think of it this way. u dont tell people if u jerk off right? so why tell people if u use hookers? same thing.
can i have 10points? thanks man.
2006-08-16 16:20:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't lie and try and pretend your a virgin...the girl will know. If you're afraid of what she'll think of your past, just say..."Well the only women I've had sex with have been one night stands that really didn't mean anything to me"...That's a good way to explain your situation without downright lying...
2006-08-15 07:51:05 · answer #4 · answered by el nombre 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, just try to act as ignorant about sex as you were with your first hooker. She'll probably believe you. Be sure to ask her after the sex "was it as good for me as it was for you?". That sort of naivete works every time. A word of warning though - when you get a girlfriend, do NOT leave $50 on the nightstand after sex. That's a dead giveaway.
2006-08-14 11:15:13 · answer #5 · answered by Screamin' Steve 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it is a serious relatioship, you gotta come clean. There is nothing worse than starting a relationship with lies. You don't have to say where you get your experience from, but don't lie any say you're a virgin either.
2006-08-14 11:14:42 · answer #6 · answered by Curious_Camo_Jess 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
boy tell your future girl the truth..by the way,some or most girls prefer guys with experience,..but wait or don' even tell her you did IT with prostitutes. tell her you have done it with about 2 girls in your whole life..one was with your teenage girl,the other...a friend of yours.
I CAN'T BELIEVE AM TELLIN U 2 LIE 2 A GIRL..yes,you are a virgin in relationships but a pro in relations,don' tell people that you are 23 and a virgin,it's kinda....AWKWARD..no one probably believe you anyway.
at least you are not shy anymore,but i can tell it keeps creeping in..causin you to tell lies....VIRGIN LIES....lol
2006-08-14 11:20:19 · answer #7 · answered by gabi c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, no, no. Tell her you're a virgin. If I was your girlfriend, I would not like to hear that you have been having sex with prostitutes.
2006-08-14 23:30:00 · answer #8 · answered by Jalena 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell her the truth!! cuz if u find mis right, then u want her 2 trust u right? and check urself jus incase u got any FREAKIN DISEASES CUZ u never knoo wut them "escort" hoes carry...and u wouldnt like the "LOVE" of ur life 2 also b infected! jus check urself first maan, cuz u kinda messed up by "practicing" too much....and jus think why a "real" girl would wanna b wit a slum thats been experimenting too much...why would she "save herself as a virgin" to b wit u! and if u lie 2 her...then karmas gonna b a real ***** 2 u! i guarantee it
2006-08-14 11:25:44 · answer #9 · answered by **Dat**$weet**whiteGrl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude a friend of mine is like that too, but he has points. you never have to worry about them bitching at you and crap like that, you miss all the B.S. and you still have money to do what ever it is you do( besides escorts) he spends upwards to 2 g's a pop, if you wanna tell a girlfriend about your past tell her no your not a virgin and that you have mad ho's
2006-08-14 11:18:21 · answer #10 · answered by Stoner 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋