How to deal with my 6-year-old son?

Question

I love my son so much and he's the sweetest, most loving child. He is a great person because he is comforting to others, he shares, etc. I haven't had to discipline him much because he always follows the rules I set down for him. Now here is the problems. He's starting to disobey and when I try to correct him, he thinks it's a big joke. How do I keep our good relationship and keep him in line. It's hurt my feelings as well as his. Thank you in advance. :-)

Answer 1

I know it might hurt your feelings now but it's for the best. Keep disciplining him so he knows it's the wrong thing to do. Again, it hurts you, but if you do nothing about it now, he'll walk all over you and hurt your feelings even more in the future.

Stop it before it starts. --know what I mean?

Answer 2

Hi there. I have a seven year old son, who is also very sweet & loving, though he tends to try and push my buttons sometimes too by not listening to what I ask him to do. Sometimes kids need to 'test the waters' so to speak on their independence. It's totally normal that he goes through this phase. As for hurting his feelings, gosh, I know what you mean. It's hard to see your kid hurt...you hurt too. However, setting boundries now will help tremendously later, when he's a teenager-and you can't put him in the corner for a time-out. Hehe.

The best thing I can recommend from personal experience is making sure your son looks you in the eye, make sure you have his attention...then ask him what you need to, as kids get distracted *very* easily. It works very well for us. Also, you sound like a loving-mom who only wants the best for your boy, so you're a step ahead of a lot of others already! Raising kids is such a personal thing, and there is no 'right answer'. Just go with your instincts. That's why us mom's have them, right? :)

Answer 3

I have a six-year-old son too and I know just what you mean! He's a lovely boy, enthusiastic, funny, affectionate, thoughtful. But boy has he started to push the boundaries!

I agree with some of the others that it's important to set clear boundaries but I haven't found the hard-line approach to be hugely effective myself. In desperation, I tried a star chart and miraculously, it works for us!

What I did was bought a sheet of card, put things that I want from him, like getting ready for school without fuss, or going to bed on time, on one side and then space for stars (you know the sort of thing I mean) then every time he does them, he gets to put a gold star on the chart.
When he gets ten stars, he can choose something from a list down the bottom.
Nothing material.
Things like, choosing where the family will go for a picnic on the weekend, or going swimming with mummy, or having a friend over after school.
He loves it. It gives him a sense of responsibility and he loves earning the stars.

It doesn't mean we never argue, or that I never get mad with him, it's just that this way, I get to praise him for the good stuff instead of always concentrating on the behaviour I don't like. I find it's a bit of a downward spiral, that stuff.
Your son sounds like a perfectly normal, lovely child. :-) Good luck.

Answer 4

They go through these stages... suddenly your compliant, well-mannered child starts to test the waters again. It is normal. Just keep the consistent rules you have had all along, and things will get back to normal in a few weeks. Keeping consistent is the key. If you continually respond with the same responses you have had all the time, then he will get the picture that just because he is older and wiser, that mom is still the authority figure. Every once in a while, they still have to see if mom's rules are the ultimate authority!

Answer 5

"How do I keep our good relationship and keep him in line"--that's your problem right there. You're trying to be a friend rather than a parent. If he gets mad at you, so what. He needs the discipline. When you correct him just be serious about it and when he starts laughing just say "I'm not kidding so why are you laughing?" and kind of laugh at him yourself as if you were making fun of him a bit. Be firm with him and don't cave whenever he gets mad or upset with you. He needs the discipline and when it comes to discipline you can't joke around with it.

Answer 6

Don't go into to long discussions about why he has to do something a certain way or what he has done wrong. He knows the rule. The conversation is just a "wear done Mom" manuever. Set a firm, fair punishment. "You are not allowed to _______________ now go to your room and do not come out until I call you. And stick to your guns! Every child has something important to them. My daughter watches a particular show every afternoon. She loves it. Her punishment is no TV. That DOES NOT mean she can whine at me that she can't watch the show. If she did she'd just be testing me. I will refuse the conversation by saying you broke the rule, you know the punishment. If she continues the punishment will expand to "you must stay in your room until dinner". No fighting or arguing, no harsh words just be firm and consistant.

Answer 7

You can't discipline the child if you're only going to want to be his friend. Friends can be taken advantage of. You're Mommy, you're in charge. You need to make this clear to him. He'll know you love him. Try sitting down and explaining to him why whatever he's doing is bad. He's testing your limits now, and if he finds out he can get away with anything, you'll be in no end of trouble when he becomes a teenager. You have to show that you have authority and it needs to be respected. Try the nose-in-the-corner punishment, or the to-the-room punishment. Anything! You need to do this now.

Answer 8

Remember you are his mom not his friend and its ok for him to hate you sometimes (he will get over it)Its normal for a 6 yaer old to push your buttins DON,T CAVE IN.Keep the same rules and make new ones if needed.School is coming back and he will be learning lots of stuff from other children. be strong explain its not accepted in YOUR house. Same goes for right now.Set a certain punishment for missbehavor.(time out in the same place everytime) time out for 6 minutes when he turns 7 time out is 7 minutes Make a proud Chart WITH him and decorate it TOGETHER when he behaves,helps clean up or does something you ask let him put a sticker on his chart after so many stickers reward him it could be
1)extra play time
2)an extra hour before bed
3)a friend sleeping over
4)a toy from the dollar store
the list goes on decide what best for you andyou kid it works trost me

Answer 9

Dear sister, it is good that you are alert to the changes in your son's developmental life. This sassy independence is just one of many milestones for him. He is testing you. If you love him, you must set clear boundaries now while he is still young. There are limits and we all need to learn them. Don't worry that it will ruin your closeness. Nothing can take that away. Remember: you are not supposed to be his friend. You are his parent. Be firm. Be clear. Be kind. He needs direction. Don't be afraid to give it. Isis

Answer 10

I have had a similiar experience,
I had to remove priviledges, such as video games, tv, board games etc.
Eventually you will find one that hits a trigger that you are serious. For mine (girl) it was her my little ponies. Start out for three days and then move it up, but do this along with whatever correction method you are already using, timeout, spanking etc.
good luck