please help?

Question

my husband cannot seem to get on with our son whose 8. they always at each others throats and never show each other any affection. hes always been like this, and he leaves all the discipline to me, which is tiring

Answer 1

why don't you try to sit down and talk to your husband and tell him how you feel and then plan for you three to go out to the ball park or beach or a movie and spend family time tell your husband that he's at the age where he needs a father and a friend or he will end up looking for it Else where and when your son reaches an age of 12 or 13 other kids with lead him to other things like drugs which I'm sure you don't want that it's so hard to get them back when thy find the drugs good luck and God Bless you and yours

Answer 2

Does your husband spend time with your son, playing catch, shooting hoops, going to a movie, fishing? Anything that the two of them could enjoy together...just dad and son...that could help them bond. One parent should not be doing all the disciplining; it should be the two parents working together to raise the child. Have you and your husband discussed this? Does he want a better relationship? It's not up to a child to build a bond with a parent; that's the parent's job to figure it out and fix it. Everyone will be a loser if it doesn't happen.....it's already 8 years late!

Answer 3

Forlorn is right. But maybe your husband is of a mindset that the wife, has to disipline the children and do everything. Or maybe he's tryin to teach you something. He doesn't get along with your son whose 8 years? I think there's something wrong with them both. Is the boy really your son and his or just yours? Maybe you two should go see a counselor and hire a baby sitter, for the time you're out of the house, seeing the counselor.

Answer 4

Sounds like it is time you and your husband had a serious talk about what the problem is between him and his son. I don't believe it is natural for a father not to want anything to do with his child, and by this age, they should be great buddies. If he doesn't know what the problem is maybe you should seek family counseling to find out because you don't want things to go on like they are now for the rest of your son's life.

Answer 5

At each others throats? Can't get along?? Didn't you just say he is his son? Can't figure out people that claim they just can't get along with there own children. Is this the only person he has this attitude with? He doesn't sound mature enough to be a father. Try the couseling if talking to him won't help.

Answer 6

I would have a heart to heart conversation with him about it and see why the problem is occuring. I would suggest family counseling if things don't get better. If you can't afford counseling, try picking up Doctor Phil's book Family First. It has great suggestions on how to make your family life work for you or go on the his website to see if can post a question or appear on the show. Good luck.

Answer 7

your husband should learn to play with his son ie catch football or play some tag and discipline should be handed out without anger but with respect

Answer 8

Please go for family therapy right away. There is nothing to be ashamed of. It really does work and you must invest the time to do this. Isn't your son worth it? As he gets older the problems WILL get worse so please go for therapy. Even if your husband is a less than willing participant, you must get the ball rolling,even if you have to initially go without him. Do this for you and your son.

Answer 9

how can they be at each others throats and it's you who does all the discipline?...send them both to bed without dinner....

Answer 10

http://www.parentingideas.org/articles/discipline/101-tips-for-improving-childrens-behaviour/
www.bbc.co.uk/parenting

and tell the lazy bum to sort himself out... parenting comes from both parents!!!