For parents with adult children and adult children who live at home?

Question

I moved home with my boyfriend and 2 year old son. I don't like to live at home, but I'm currently paying $1500 to live at home (half of the bills) and because of this I can't save any money to move out. That has always been the case and she thinks I'm there because I can't afford to live on my own (which I can clearly do, since I'm paying it there). However, I can't afford to save and pay her $1500 plus groceries or whatever else the house needs. There are 5 other people in the house: my mother, my stepdad, my brother and two sisters. One sister is 2.5 years old and the other sister and brother are both teenagers. My mother and stepfather work from home and they cook for themselves only for every meal. What is a fair amount for my parents to charge me to live at home?

1. The amount of the increase of the bills.
2. The amount of the increase of the bills and a utility bills.
3. A couple of the utility bills.
4. Half of the bills of the house.
5. Nothing.
6. Other.
Why?

We don't live expensively. We live in a very small bedroom. The $1500 when I moved in paid for everything but the mortgage, including her business line phone, her gym membership and her personal credit card bills. The mortgage was approximately $1500, when I moved in, which she refinanced twice and took all the equity out for herself. She wants me to pay more and for the increase of the mortgage.

If you feel that it's half, would you still feel it fair for your child to charge you 50% of the bills or something close to that when it's time for your children to take care of you?

Answer 1

Honey it sounds to me like your mother and step father are taking advantage of you and living off you only in their house.
After my divorce i moved into an apartment with my two kids and after a year my parents were begging me to move home with them to save money.
I did.
My mother only ask me to pay the amout that the bills increased and help buy groceries and clean.
It was only about 150.00 a month. Plus the groceries. And she usually had dinner ready when we got home or if i got there first i would cook for all of us. And they helped run my kids to practice and pick them up at school or take them to school if i was running late in the mornings.
My parents said there was no way i could save money, spending money on rent. I was able to save half a pay check everytime i got paid because they let me live there.
You and your bf would be better off in your own place.
I seriously think you are being taken advantage of.

Answer 2

Girlfriend, you need to get outta there! That's crap!! Using you to pay off her personal bills is just wrong. When I lived with my parents after my divorce for 2 years, my dad had me give him 50 bucks a month and he saved it for me the whole time. When it was time to move out he gave it back to me. That 1200 dollars was my deposit and first months rent on my new place.

Seriously though, if they're going to insist on you paying so much you should get copies of all of the utility bills, the mortgage, the food, etc and divide them by 3. Tell them that is all you will pay them or else you're getting the heck outta there.

And whatever you do pay them take a copy of it to a notary public and have it signed and stamped. Just incase.

Answer 3

GET OUT NOW! Seriously, start looking for a cheap 1 br apt. After a few months living there and saving, you can maybe afford to get a better place. It sure sounds like dear ol' mom is using you to finance her lifestyle.

Answer 4

my daughter just moved home...she got her first month free...now she pays $200.00...she's expecting a baby in Feb so I want her to save her money because after the baby is born (maybe before) she wants to move out...sounds like your mom doesn't want you to move out...and why should she?...your saving her a hell of a lot of money living there..more for her!...I dont know what you should do other than sit her down and talk with her...