what do i do with my 2 year old?!!!?

Question

My two year old has been hitting me because she thinks it is funny and she has horrible temper tantrums. I think she has hit the terrible two's! How do I discipline her to show her she shouldnt act this way?

Answer 1

You need to use a natural or logical consequence for these behaviors. Taking away a toy or privilege is not logical. A natural consequence for her hitting you is that you do not want to be around her if she chooses to hurt you. I would be overly dramatic about it when she hits you. Tell her "That hurt! I do not want to be near you if you are going to hit me." Move to an area away from her or put her in an area away from you (her room, the couch). Tell her "When you are ready to be gentle with me then we can be together." Don't give her a time limit. Time outs are a way for you to control her, not a way for her to gain self control.

I suggest you ignore her when she has a tantrum. You can either walk away or put her away from you and say "When you're ready to calm down then we can be together."

Point out her behavior when she is being calm or gentle. "I like it when we are kind to each other."

Empathize with her after a tantrum or an aggressive incident. Say things like "I can tell you were very (hurt, mad, angry, frustrated, upset). What can we do about it next time?" She will soon learn to better express her emotions rather than hurt or throw a tantrum. Good luck!

Answer 2

For discipline, spanking won't work here. She is hitting, and she'll think that hitting is OK if you spank her. Save the spanking (if you choose to ever) for later.
You need to try a way that you agree with that doesn't involve physical discipline. Time outs, either sitting or standing. Loss of a privilege for the rest of the day, no longer because she isn't old enough to remember tomorrow. Like she can't watch TV, play with a certain toy, go outside... Whatever you choose, you have to be consistent.
As for the tantrums, there's not much you can do to stop them. Ignore her. The more attention she gets, the longer they will last. If you find that you are at the end of your patience or temper, put her in her room until she stops, or you calm down. If you are in public, calmly tell her to stop, then walk away a few feet. When she sees that mommy isn't paying attention, she'll follow on her own. Don't ever, ever give in when she throws a fit because she wants something. That will only teach her to scream to get her way. If you have to, pick her up and leave wherever you are and go home, or at least outside of the store. If it's the park, go to the car. Just make sure that if you are telling her with your words and actions that if she can't behave nicely, then she doesn't need to play, be outside, go shopping with mommy, etc... You are the boss here, not her.

Answer 3

my son does that too and he is four. What I do is set him on the bottom stair...you could use a chair or corner whichever method you prefer. He will sit on the stair until he can apologize and tell me what he is sorry for. Don't worry if she gets up and continues to throw a tantrum just keep picking her back up and placing her back in the spot. She will eventually get the hint. When she has apologized and able to acknowledge what she did that was wrong drop it and don't bring it up again. Because once the child has apologized the issue is over. Eventually she will get the hint. At the same time you should make a little chart and every time she demonstrates good behavior you should let her put a sticker or something of that nature on the chart when she gets so many give her a prize (doesn't matter how big or small) she will learn that she should have good behavior and make better choices when it comes to her actions!! Good Luck! :-)

Answer 4

Ok. This might sound funny. . . but ive tried it and it actually worked.For the temper tantrums. When your at home (and youll understand why at home when you read on) and she throws a tantrum. . . usually tantrums are for attention b.c they arent getting what they want. . . soooo a tantrum is a way to full fill what they arent getting. . . ok when she throws a tantrum you throw one too. . EXACTLY the way she is. Say the same things throw your self down if she does ect. . . once she sees what shes acting like shell most likely stop. When she does stop keep going just for a few seconds longer let her see what its like most likely shell begin laughing at you and tell you that you look silly. Tell her that thats what she looks like and explain that there are better ways to get the things she wants. Whatever you do dont give in, its almost like rewarding her for her bad behavior. As for the hitting thats a two year old thing. (im a preschool teacher for that age and i see it all day everyday. Its like a form of expression almost. . not that its right. short of hitting her back all you can do is tell her its not ok to hit. possibly put her in timeout when it happens.)

Answer 5

I agree with the time outs. When she hits you you put her either on a chair or stool in the corner and she has to stay there for 2 minutes ( 1 minute per year of age) if she gets off then you put her back on it and the time starts over.

As for the tantrums you can do the same thing. But if she just all of a sudden throws her self on the floor and starts to freak out then just ignore her.

My son did this only a handful of times. One time he did it while we were in a mall. I just stool there and looked away ( but of course always keeping an eye on your child) and told him that we would continue shopping when he was done being silly. it only lasted like a minute or so. They just do it for attention so if you don't give the attention to them then they will stop.

Answer 6

I have three kids ages five three and one. I have had problems like yours in the past. I'm telling you that if you do not handled this know while she is young it will only get worse. You need to set down her and explain that hitting and that fits are wrong and that is not allowed and it acceptable. my Five year daughter has a saying "you get what you get and you do not throw a fit" If the bad behavior continues then I would spank her and set her in a corner for punishment for what she has done so that she knows what she has done is wrong and make her say she is sorry for hitting you. It's very important that she know exactly what she is being punished for It's very important that you stay calm or Else she wont know that your the one in charge.

Answer 7

Well at that age it's really hard to know what to do. Have you tried simply saying "Why do you hit mommy? It really hurts. I wish you wouldn't hit me. You hurt my feelings when you hit me." And if the reasoning doesn't work I would take away something she ADORES, a stuffed animal, favorite toy or a desert she has to have and tell her if she's going to continue hitting you like that then she will go without her favorite thing. Put it away where she can't see it or get to it. Don't back down. With kids, persistance is key. Good luck, mommy.

Answer 8

My little girl is the same way!! She has terrible temper tantrums. She also trys to hit me and her father or whoever she gets mad at. I just tell her to stop or give her a little pop and tell her what she has done wrong. It is basiclly something I guess they have to grow out of.

Answer 9

I would put her in a "time-out" chair in the corner of the room where you can see her. They say that the time spent in time-out should be one minute for the age of the child, so this would be two minutes for your daughter. If she try's to get up sooner just place her back in the chair and remind her why she is there. If you put her in time-out too long she will forget why she was there in the first place.

Hope this help's.

Answer 10

Put her in time out. Make her stay there for maybe 5 minutes each and every time she acts out like this.Be persistent and don't give in.I used to make my kids go to their room and cry and throw their tantrums, even if i had to drag them in there.I would calmly tell them, when your done crying and throwing your tantrum, you can come out. It was up to them how long they wanted to be in there. At first they would keep coming out, and I would take them right back and turn around and leave. After they caught on, they would stop right away, and finally they stopped doing it .