I am really worried about my boyfriend?

Question

Hi. To paint you a picture I am 21 (Female) and have been living with my boyfriend, who is also 21, (Who I ador) in York for the past year. He owns and operates several businesses with his father. We have quite a big family and lots of friends. We have plently of money and live very comfortably.

Recently he he become really withdrawn from everyhing really. He seems to be under so much stress. He is not really eating properly and have lost quite a lot of weight. I wouldnt say he neglects me but we have drifted apart. I understand that he has a lot of work to do but he seems to be living meetings and client interviews. I am really worried he is going to do himself some serious damage. I have spoken to him about this time and time again but he justs gets annoyed. He is really ambitious and not much satisfies him so he is constantly working, even at home. I am really worried

Answer 1

Are you sure he is not doing drugs?Weight loss,distances,and the other symptoms sound like a drug problem.Many people do not realize their loved one is doing drugs.Don't say "he wouldn't do drugs",b/c so many try to hide this activity from the ones that care about them.

Answer 2

I think that's a great idea...take him on some sort of a vacation. The kid is way too young to have this kind of stress, and personally, I question his father for allowing it to happen. As a matter of fact, maybe you could say something to Dad about his son's recent behavior. Maybe your bf puts on a happy workaholic face when he's with his father, and his dad doesn't know what's really going on. If you really care about the guy and realize that his behavior is a result of his lifestyle (which can easily change, mind you) then you need to stick by his side and be there for him in any way you can. When he's sad, listen to his problems, let him vent about his day, his parents, etc. As long as you are happy and he's not like this 100% of the time, then you're okay. But if it continues to consume his life, and nothing seems to be working (vacation, talking to Dad) then he may need to seek counseling or you'll have to try and talk him out of his current situation. Honestly, it sounds like he might reach the decision himself. Especially if this guy was happy before, he might recognize his own dissatisfaction and take care of it on his own.

Answer 3

Don't be...My girlfriend bothers me about the same way quite often (even though she is ambitious too), I'm a workaholic, its just a NEED - It is good to be ambitious, sometimes being well off isn't enough for some people and they value personal achievement. But, I realize it I just can't leave my work, I do alot of it for her too, He isn't block you out of his life completely, he is just consumed, it happens we can't explain it and we don't like to be tripped up when we're on a roll. Talk to him, don't be critical and tell him he is doing himself damage we don't want to hear all that, just plan some fun time together, or help him relax - don't feel hurt if he is overly withdrawn, cold or doesn't return your affection at a time of stress - unless your relationship is generally in trouble (which it sounds like it isn't ) then he is just going through a phase - He will take a break sooner or later. (You're a great girl to stick with him through it, sometimes I wonder why mine does and often many don't - and that's when we realize 'Oh, damn what have we done' and realize what's really important to us. (Also there is probably a lot of pressure from his dad in particular, i know the type) - Just give it some time and work your way into his head.

I ended up in hospital for 3 weeks from work related stress, lack of sleep, no eating...I wouldn't let it happen to him. Talk to him and tell him he MUST balance his life and that you need time. I know for a fact regardless of how he is acting he doesn't love you any less, our emotions just feel blocked when we're that stressed.

In short, help him sort out his priorities...we easily forget those when we're obsessed with work (but it is important to him and you CANT MAKE OR EXPECT HIM TO STOP, since he won't feel right if he doesn't (lets say its a fault in him ok, and you both need to appreciate each other's faults and cover each other's weaknesses to make a relationship work) -


Hope that helps

Answer 4

All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy. You need to plan a vacation. Take him away from work. Ask him what is more important, a life or a career. People who have demanding jobs always has relationship problems. You may need to get him to do one thing that you can live comfortably on and forget the rest. And have a life. Alot of money is not going to make you happy as you can see.

Answer 5

Try to take him on vacation, even if only for a weekend, or to a day spa. Tell him that it would really mean the world to you (not to relax him but to spend time with him) You two get a nice trip and he can relax, talk to his dad and try to plan something during a time that will be less busy with him and then when you ask him about it you can say that you're taking his work into account, he'll like that if he's a workaholic.
Do watch for signs of cheating and substance abuse though because they have some similar symptoms

good luck

Answer 6

People need to seperate work and home...if he doesn't, tell him you understand his goals and support that. Try to set goals in your relationship that you BOTH want to reach together. it could be anything fun that involves the both of you. Maybe you can say that by the end of august we will go bungee jumping together, etc. Maybe you can join kickboxing or wall climbing togeter and commitment to spending 1 hour /week doing something like that together. It gives an opportunity to do something away from a work envir. If he works at home it sucks, but maybe you can be closer by removing him from his work environment (even if it is your home).

Now, here is the kicker... you umight also want to ask if he needs some space or time apart. Sorry, I know that one is not what you want to hear.

Good Luck.

Answer 7

make sure you love on him a lot, maybe he is under depression, and doesn't feel good. make sure you cook for him and give him some alone time too, make sure he likes everything that is in the house or apartment ( where ever you are living ) and make sure you are comfortable with him. if he starts going out a lot then1of the times follow him secretly and see if hes cheating on you. if so make sure you do something about it, and try not to be so mean. but take it slow and seriously. be careful! and best of luck!!

Answer 8

what i think u should do is make him a romantic dinner one night adn spend the night just the 2 of u and let him know that u r there 4 him and that u luv him so much.... dont sound worried about him (not that u shouldnt b) but u can inform him about that another time, that night should just b about how much u care about him and that u r there 4 him b kind adn treat him like a king so he knows that u luv him.......a kiss or 2 wouldnt hurt to prove ur point either, good luck!♥

Answer 9

ok. the problem here is that your boyfriend doesn't have time to make you, (or his own health!) a priority in his life. this is a bad indicator for you as someone in his life. the problem is NOT love... u may very well love eachother and adore eachother. but he has to make it a priority to satisfy you. to make u feel secure. to make u feel loved. if he is "too busy" to do that, then he is the wrong guy for you. because u are there, u are committed, u care caring, u are trying to help him. he doesn't seem to know how to care for himself, how can he care for you?? it's possible that in this case, in order to help him, u may need to let him go. that way, he can prioritize his life, and be able to work on himself and his career, and eventually become strong enough to care for a woman in his life. and at the same time, instead of being sad about losing him, u have to be positive and healthy and happy too. therefore u must find someone who can take care of You, just as u take care of him. you both need to be satisfied mentally, emotionally, and physically in order for the relationship to Grow. u cannot grow w/ someone who has no time to figure out what the problem is. if u love him, give him a chance. but that chance is for him to change, and work on the relationship. if he can't, or will not, or doesn't know how, then it's just not good enough for you. because u are willing, u are there, waiting. u are being a good girlfriend, he is being a bad boyfriend. there are no excuses; yes he is busy. but he does not have time to take care of you! is that ur dream boyfriend? =T... if u can let him go, then u will be able to work on urself, and work on what u need in a boyfriend. as long as u are positive, and continue to seek out what is Healthy and Happy in ur life, u will be able to handle anything that comes ur way.

Answer 10

Your boyfriend is young for all that responsiblity... But if you learn to cope and communicate with your boyfriend... The love you have for him won't dissappear... Try telling him how you feel and if your fed up explain why..... your still young and have a long life ahead of you with other guyz that'll appreciate you