One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like heck. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and cost ten dollars, a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks."
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.
2006-08-14 08:43:06 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Happy Birthday man, and thanks for all the wisevibes jokes. They're a hit at the office.
2006-08-14 09:40:40 · answer #1 · answered by tjbaseballsaenz 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I knew Wal-Mart was running the planet!
Happy Birthday!
2006-08-14 08:53:13 · answer #2 · answered by dogsrwork 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
HAA HAA HAAA ITS NICE but i guess if u wanna laugh more u can go to laughterbloom.com its awsm!!!
and wish u a MANY MANY HAPPY RETURNS OF THE DAY !!!!!and in other words HAPPY BITHDAY hey i hav rated ur question as gud keep asking these questions and keep make us laugh
bye
2006-08-15 00:59:14 · answer #3 · answered by Eric W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10* man - happy birthday to u, hey didn;t told that how old are u today common tell me i have to select the candle accordingly
2006-08-14 09:16:08 · answer #4 · answered by Pd 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
happy birthday i cannot bother to read that joke out but i am thinking it is very funny again happy birthday
2006-08-14 11:24:54 · answer #5 · answered by tensiag 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My name is D. Piper I am the chief legal counsel at Wal-Mart. We at Wal-Mart have taken Great offense at your so called "Birthday Joke"...we don't think your one bit funny and have initiated ipertinent legal proceddings against you.
2006-08-14 08:53:58 · answer #6 · answered by oldtimer 4 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Happy Birthday... :-)
2006-08-14 08:54:11 · answer #7 · answered by L!LO 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
haha...i loved it...happy bday...we should be giving u a laugh not the other way around...anyways have fun on ur special day!!
2006-08-14 09:00:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
boy isn't technology wonderful thank you for the joke
2006-08-14 08:55:22 · answer #9 · answered by wildirishrose19522000 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
oldtimer, you'd be more believable if you could actually spell you're correctly.
nice joke btw
2006-08-14 12:09:12 · answer #10 · answered by nagakara-sama 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋