I have been having a casual relationship with a guy that I really like for about 4 months. I come over we talk, have sex, then shortly after I leave. He never asks me to spend the night. He always tells me I'm beautiful and smart. When I've asked him about being with me he says "OH, I'm just weird." He knows how much I care for him. He buys me flowers and we dance together, but we've never done anything together outside of his house other than the first night we met. I thought maybe he has a girlfriend and is just hiding it, but whenever I call him he's alone.
He got out of a 3 yr relationship about 10 months ago. So what I want to know is does he really care for me? does he just like having sex with me and nothing else? should I even continue to want something more? Guys and girls please answer. This is eating me up, and he keeps beating around the bush. I told him I loved him and he said he didn't deserve it but really appreciated it, that I was beautiful. I'm so confused.
2006-08-14 08:30:47 · 46 answers · asked by lilyjane_2184 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He may be on the rebound, if he just got out of a relationship. It usually takes awhile to get over long relationships, so give him time. If he's appreciative of you, then it sounds like he really does care. Don't push him too hard, but if I were you, I'd plan a nice date--outside of the house.
Put together a fun evening that you know he will enjoy. Go to a ballgame, a comedy club, a play, or a concert. Tell him you worked really hard to find something neat that you both can enjoy.
About staying the night: he might just be scared. Four months is NOT that long, when you think about it. I know that four months is not really long enough for me to be willing to take off my make-up, take out my contacts, wear my glasses, and snore in front of someone I really like.
Good luck!
2006-08-14 08:43:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll hear "He's just not that into you" a lot because its true. Truth is if you want to be happy go find someone that is willing to go all the way. Not half or two thirds of the way. Only deal with dudes that are 100% about you. Would you rather waste your time with Mr. " I don't deserve you" or be available for the guy of your dreams? Go ask other married women if they ever had to go through a bunch of crap in order to get the man of their dreams. Remember once a guy turns you down that's it there is no turning back because he has already made his decision about you and doesn't care about losing you.
2006-08-14 08:47:06 · answer #2 · answered by jade20743 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you sound young to me...and 4 months is wayyyyy too early to be telling a guy you love him. If he sounds like he's beating around the bush then he probably is....he doesn't want a relationship. Set terms with him. If this is just a sexual relationship then you have to be mature enough to know that it's just sex and not get your emotions involved (too late for that, right?). Tall him that if he wants you to be his girlfriend then he has to be ready to make that commitment. All in all, seems like he tells you what you like to hear in order to get laid. Do what you feel you can handle. You keep it all on a sexual level or kick him to the curb.
Good Luck.
2006-08-14 08:40:28 · answer #3 · answered by makeitclap23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st I would assume he has a girlfriend..how often are you with him? is their specific times he doesnt answer the phone? Specific times you come over and leave? ....don't be to aggresive he could just be a little cautious about a new relationship , but definatly investigate what the situation really is but don't hound the man with accusations. O and especially if you never leave the house....yea BIG sign he has a girflriend. Initiate a movie or the mall,.,...something public and see if he accepts......if not....he has a girl and doesn't want to be nervous about getting caught! Good Luck.
2006-08-14 08:39:16 · answer #4 · answered by AUDREY H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be a lot of things.
* Maybe he has a girlfriend or partner but she works all day...
* Maybe he just wants sex with you and have a nice life with you as a single guy.
*Maybe he's been hurt and doesn't want to start anything serious.
Anyway, my advice, dont let him know that you love him... just give him his space and try to be more independent, start making him feel that you are with him just for sex too... and wait for the reaction, if he doesnt care, well you will have the answer... if he reacts different dont push, just wait a couple of days or weeks and keep telling him, you are looking for love not sex... and see what he offers...
That's my advice...
2006-08-14 08:43:49 · answer #5 · answered by MagicSea® 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that guy doesn't really care so much about you... when someone wants to be with you do anything to make you feel comfortable and happy... he should take you out and spend more time outdoors not only when he wants to get laid... I'm sorry but seems like he is just having a good time with you but he doesn't want a relationship with you.... look for someone who really loves you and cares about you!
2006-08-14 08:40:30 · answer #6 · answered by *<:-)☼♥♣♫♪ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't even have to finish reading. "Casual relationship" is what you have so this is how you will be treated. If you were ina real relationship maybe you would be able to spend the night and have spare clothes there and a key. Don't expect to be treated like a wife if your just a fling. And no matter how you look at it, that's what you are.
2006-08-14 08:38:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just really doesnt like to go out. Why dont you ask him to come to your place on of these times and you can ask him to spend the night and gage his reaction. He might think you spending the night might be a big step that he is not ready to commit to. I would have an open talk with him. Good Luck
2006-08-14 08:37:16 · answer #8 · answered by D R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take it slow but LIGHTLY push the point about spending the night. he probably got hurt so he is gun shy so that is why he is acts the way he does. don't push it hard but try to get him to do a little something. whatever you do don't ask him over to your house so you can make him dinner. to a man that is like the woman is trying to get a commitment. cook at his house. kind of let it be his idea.
if you push it you will find out one way or the other. if you are premature you might box him in then he would probably let you go even though he wouldn't want too!
2006-08-14 09:09:51 · answer #9 · answered by lou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you always have the big O and always continue to leave afterwards. Use him like he's using you. It is what it is. Don't make more than what's there. Keep your dating options open.
The only way to get a man's attention is to have another man sniffing around. If he knows he has you, then he's bored.
Believe what he's telling you. He doesn't deserve your love.
2006-08-14 08:42:51 · answer #10 · answered by Pam 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋