I see this posted for men mostly, but as a man, I do not see the importance that women place on sex when entering a relationship. I have talked to a few women about guys that like them but whom they are not attracted to. And they always say the same thing: "He is a great guy, but I am not sexually attracted to him. If I can't have sex with him, I cannot date him." What does that mean? Are women really this shallow? Or is it something else? My theory is that for guys sex is just a given. We will screw pretty much anything, so we look for a more emotional or spiritual attraction that sets the girl apart from all the rest. Do girls NOT do this as well? Is sex the deciding factor as to whether a girl would pursue a guy? What's the deal? I'm very curious about how women think about this matter. Thank you.
2006-08-14 08:17:43 · 10 answers · asked by Mister_Shhh 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
A lot of guys think of sex as 'yeah im gonna get laid". While sex is a way for a woman to really connect with a man. Some guys think thats a way for them to get close to a woman but we have to be close to guys before that. Does that make sense at all?
2006-08-14 08:22:49 · answer #1 · answered by renee1724 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, let's see. Guys as you said, will pretty much screw anything. And it's a given that women see sex more on an emotional level than men do. The last man I had a long-term relationship with, well, our sex life was great for him but did nothing for me. We connected on every level - emotionally, spiritually, everything. But the first time we went to bed together, I was so disappointed to find that he had the smallest equipment I've ever encountered in my entire adult life. So if I was basing our relationship on sex, I would never have seen him again after that night. But because my heart was engaged, I stayed. I loved him & did everything to pleasure him. You have to know you can't lump all women together & say "that's exactly what they want!" it's going to be different for each of us. Some women really won't do anything with a guy if the spark isn't there. Some women can look beneath the surface & fall for the man, the person, not just the package. Is sex THE deciding factor? Not in all cases. In some, yes, I suppose it is. But women do tend to equate physical intimacy with emotional ties & men just don't. "I don't love her, it was just sex!!" lol To men, maybe, but never to women. And women are highly competitive, make no mistake. If you do someone else while you're supposed to be exclusive with us, we will tear ourselves up wondering "was she better?" "what did she do that I don't?" etc. Where for you, (men) it may simply have been scratching an itch, with women it becomes war then! Bottom line - we're all different. I didn't know men looked for a more emotional or spiritual attraction as opposed to a great rack or thighs that could crack walnuts!! lol Just enjoy the differences & have fun on the road of life . . .
2006-08-14 08:41:15 · answer #2 · answered by pumpkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well..here's how i see it. first off, u have to be somewhat ATTRACTED to someone. physical attraction is a necessity to have a true relationship.. *as is* emotional and spiritual attraction. that is why a man, who DOES screw anything regardless of those emotional or spiritual needs, NEGATES the importance of Sex in the relationship. he *should* seek out those good qualities of a relationship, other than sex. a woman, quite oppositely, is NOT shallow. because she will NOT just have sex with "anyone". she will WAIT until she finds one she WANTS to have sex with...which shows that her relationships are worth More. u have to remember that women are already Emotional and Spirtual beings..they have much easier time building an emotional bond towards a man; it is the man who has problems with that:
men use love to get sex
women use sex to get love.
so, if a woman finds a man that she wants to LOVE her, she will have sex with him. because she wants him to STAY. not cuz she wants sex w/ just any guy. but a man will be romantic and "lovely dovey" in order to get laid, not necessarily cuz he really is in love. or he may think he is in love. but once he gets the sex, things change, and he's not so interested anymore cuz he wants to get sex somewhere else. *HENCE* the emotional and spiritual bond he needs to create w/ a woman in order to stay. which is why a woman HAS TO have standards, have boundaries, to find a man she wants to have sex with. its' not about humping anything or anybody. it's about finding someone who u can have a relationship with and have a physical, mental, emotional, AND spiritual connection with.
you saying that women are shallow cuz they have standards makes NO sense. =T u really need to put more thought into what u are saying... :) no offense.
2006-08-14 08:28:53 · answer #3 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the woman and her tastes. Personally I look for other things before I take that further but I know friends who do want a good man in the sack because they feel it's important part of a relationship.. sexual compatibility which adds to the emotions of course. I'd have to account for the minority though who just want pure sex only but that's only handful.
2006-08-14 08:23:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sex is all about intimacy to a women, Remember the saying "Women have sex to have intimacy and man have intimacy to have Sex."
I think for most women they want sex, but they want it with a connection.
I think no matter what when you date someone, there usually has to be some type of sexual attraction. Most Women don't just have sex to have sex, like some men will do, we really want a connection first.
2006-08-14 08:36:13 · answer #5 · answered by sweet smile 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
women aren't shallow. if we can't c ourselves having sex with u how is a long relationship suppose 2 work. sex is a very big part of a relationship why shouldn't we set our stardards higher? it's just like would a guy stay with a chick that's not so attractive & that he's not really crazy about getting it up 4?
2006-08-14 08:27:24 · answer #6 · answered by hellosexymoto 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Women are wired, so to speak, to seek a "mate for life"...... we look for men who will be strong and provide and protect us, we also look for men who can give us families............for us sex is an emotional thing, and who wants to chance forming an emotional atachment on a guy who can't take care of us???
2006-08-14 08:29:25 · answer #7 · answered by kim h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is not all that important.
I dont plan on giving anything up until my dude puts a ring on my finger.
so no its not important to me, its the person.
2006-08-14 08:28:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nymphos are shallow.... i want to be dominated.
2006-08-14 08:48:38 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's crazy and kinda stupid.
2006-08-14 08:22:17 · answer #10 · answered by Mama R 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋