tell me some jokes?

Answer 1

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny. The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you.” She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde." The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"

There once was a blonde who was very tired of blonde jokes and insults directed at her intelligence. So, she cut and dyed her hair, got a makeover, got in her car, and began driving around in the country. Suddenly, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the shepherd who was tending to them.” If I can guess the exact number of sheep here, will you let me have one?" she asked. The shepherd, thinking this was a pretty safe bet, agreed.” You have 171 sheep," said the blonde in triumph. Surprised, the shepherd told her to pick out a sheep of her choice. She looked around for a while and finally found one that she really liked. She picked it up and was petting it when the shepherd walked over to her and asked, "If I can guess your real hair color, will you give me my sheep back?” The blonde thought it was only fair to let him try. "You're a blonde! Now give me back my dog."

A blonde reports for her university final exam, which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening.” I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies. "Now I'm rechecking my answers."

(fyi-i have nothing against blondes.ive never actually met a dumb blonde)

Answer 2

FINALLY...THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license.

She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, It's square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop"

Answer 3

theres a blonde a red head and a burnet on this uncharted desert island and they find a jenie bodol the jenie said that since all 3 of them rubed it they all 3 get 1 wish each so the burnet says "i wish i was back home with my family" and poof shes gone. The red head says that sounds pretty good i wish for the same thing so poof shes gone. They the genie goes over to the blonde and says "helo you are the last person on this island and this is the last wish! and she gets really excited. and says oh yay its i big decision i wish my friends where here! And instintly the red head and burnet get zapped back on the island!

Answer 4

Survivor, Texas Style



A major network is planning the show "Survivor 2" this winter. In response, Texas is planning "Survivor, Texas Style." The contestants will start in Dallas, travel through Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to Brownsville. They will proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland/Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there, they proceed to Abilene, and on to Ft. Worth and back to Dallas.

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm gay, I voted for Bush, and I'm here to confiscate your guns."

The first one to make it back to Dallas wins.

Answer 5

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Answer 6

The RABBI AND THE PRIEST met at the town's annual picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.
"This ham is really delicious", the priest teased the rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's againts your religion, but you just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, when are you going to break down and have some"?
The rabbi looked at his friend with a big grin, and said, "at your WEDDING".

Answer 7

What do you call 4 blondes at a four way stop?

An eternity.


lol

Answer 8

http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp
http://amys_blonde_jokes.tripod.com/
Please visit the above pages. I hope, it helps u.

Answer 9

www.jokes.com