What should I do?

Question

I'm 13, and we just moved from a small town to a smaller town in a much smaller house, and now we're moving in to a bigger town with an even SMALLER house. I just got out of an argument with my parents about it, and they'd kill to make me think what we're doing right now is going to solve anything. I feel incredibly depressed to a point where nothing I've done in the past is making me feel any better about anything. I was homeschooled for 5 years, and I've been in public school for 2 now-- but the problem is that I'm really afraid of going back to that life where I didn't know anything or anyone. It's scary for me, and all they can do is yell at me and make me think this is our only way out because bills are so high. It's so painful and I can't do anything to ease it at all. Everything's so old because of all the other times we've done this and nothing good's come of it. I've tried everything, music, drawing, writing... it's just not helping anymore. What should I do?

That's just it-- I CAN'T MAKE NEW FRIENDS IF WE'RE ALWAYS ON THE ROAD!

Answer 1

you should make your question smaller so i might whant to read it

Answer 2

Your parents are doing what they think they have to in order to keep ahead of the bills. Being an adult sucks when there are more bills than money coming in. Try not to hate them too much for making you move & live in a tiny house.

Your parents do not understand why you're miserable. You need an independent person who can hear about your problems without being biased (like your parents) or passing judgement.

I know it's hard but I think the best thing to do is talk to a counselor. I don't know if your parents can afford visits to a regular counselor, but your school should have a couselor who you can approach. Maybe the school counselor can direct you to a free Social Worker or Counselor who can see you weekly. This person will hear your situation and listen to your progress. They're professionally trained to help people work through major problems.

Try to stay focused on the bigger picture: hanging out with your friends, keeping your grades up, finding a hobby or pastime you love. Maybe you're being forced to spend too many hours in this little depressing house? Why not see if school offers an after school activity you're interested in? Sports? Drama? Music? Computer? Yearbook? You don't need to be stuck at home surrounded by your parents problems & tension constantly.

Best of luck to you! You sound VERY smart & mature for being 13, and I think you'll find a good solution.

Answer 3

I wish I could give you a hug - your post made me want to cry. I know how hard this is for you - I moved over 20 times before I was 18 and I was not an Army brat! I have been to so many schools I can't even remember them all. I don't think parents realize how socially awkward it is for a kid to have to dive into a totally new scene time after time. It just doesn't enter their consciousness - they're too busy stressing over bills, etc. I feel bad for them too because money problems really suck. I'm fortunate right now that hubby and I are somewhat stable but that hasn't always been the case. We moved to NJ from PA nearly 2 years ago and I stressed over our son having to go from his old school to a new one. I wanted him to get to go to the same one from start to finish! Sometimes that doesn't work out though. Just try to remember that they are doing what they feel is best for your family - it's tough, I know. But try not to give your mom too much cr@p about it - believe me when I tell ya she feels guilty enough about it all already.
Good luck sweetie - keep your head up and your spirit bright. That which does not kill us only serves to make us stronger.

And keep writing, btw - there are many of us who make a decent paycheck by putting our pain on paper. You are clearly an intelligent and literate young lady - remember everything without bitterness and you'll do well in life.

Answer 4

life comes with changes make the most of what it is. you're still young you will eventually find your niche`--something that makes you stand different from the rest, not just being the new kid on the block. TRUST ME!! I'm 29, and I grew up with the same lifestyle. I'm now a mother of 3 with an abundance of friends and FINALLY a wonderful place that is nice and cozy, just a little something I like to call HOME!!! don't let your parents arguments become your lifestyle. parents always do what they feel is best it may not always be right, but being that they are the boss, what can you do. Offer your opinion, but it will most likely fall on deaf ears. at least you will have gotten a little off your chest.

Answer 5

Me too, i came from Asia, im not chinese or Japanese, ima filipino. I came here last year and when I studied, I got a lot of friends, good grades and stuffs, I know our situation is different from mine. Talk to your parents about it. Tell them how your hurt and how you cant find anything to do. Tell them why your moving to an even smaller house. Even if they yell, there must be a reason why they moved and moved and moved. They dont just do that for no reason. Maybe theyre trying to solve a problem that they dont want to tell you.

Dont worry about going back to the life where you dont know anything, people nowadays are friendly and they could teach you all that you wnt to know. Remember that your parents are always there for you. They are always open to whatever your concerns are. dont be afraid to talk to them.

Answer 6

I know what you mean. I remember moving a whole lot when I was a kid. I never really let it get to me. I just took it all in stride. Even though I was leaving my friends behind I never forgot them. It also gave me a chance to make new friends. I wouldn't change a thing about my experience with moving around alot because I wouldn't have made the friends that I've made in my life. So my advice to you is just to keep your head up, stay focused and take it all in stride. You'll be alright.

Answer 7

You poor thing. I have 3 girls, ages 15, 12 and 9. We recently moved from Atlanta to Dallas so we have just been through what you are going through. It is really hard having to start over and everyday I wonder if I did the right thing.

I understand that you are scared and frustrated. That is normal. I'm sure your parents aren't doing this to upset you. Sometimes grown ups have problems that their kids don't even know about. I'm sure your parents think they are doing the right thing and they just don't see any other way out.

I know that it sounds lame, but perhaps you could sit down with them and say that you really want to take time to understand what is going on with them and would like them to understand what is going on with you. If you all try really hard to see the situation from the other side, it might help. But you really have to be open to understanding their side of it if you want them to be open to understanding yours. It is a two way street.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 8

It maybe confusing and difficult to move to a new location. People kind of getting used places and people around it.
The best thing is to find new friends a am sure that there are a lot of kids looking for friend in new town where u are moving.

Answer 9

i think u need to start by taking a deep breath...and figuring out what's going on in ur life. yes, it's pretty turbulent, moving around is NOT easy. but u do have to keep in mind that your parents WANT the best for you..but they can't always GIVE it to you. ESPECIALLY when it comes to money...that is the worst thing about life..that money tends to make the world "go round".

*however*..there is something that money Can't buy..which is love! :) sounds cliche, but really. if u can somehow communicate w/ ur parents, and work hard at that relationship w/ ur family, i think u will realize that it doesn't matter where u guys are, as long as u are together. and strong, as a family unit. working hard to get the best out of what u have, for the family. i'm sure ur parents love and respect you..but they don't know *how* to convey it to you..which is why u need to try really hard to understand where they're coming from! lol.. even tho ur parents are older, they are not always going to know what's the right way to talk to you, or be much more mature than you. it takes a lot of brainpower to actually act "mature"..and in fact, i'm sure u are trying ur hardest to talk to ur parents about the issues, which is very mature. the way u handle yourself, and react to them, however, u also need to try to figure out what is going on that is causing these miscommunications.

do u feel they don't care about u? do u feel that u have better solutions? do u know what u can suggest that will be better for the family as a whole? if u do, please try to talk w/ ur parents in a calm manner..explain to them although u understand that money is tight, u feel that moving around so much does not really help. u guys might need to do something Different. maybe u can offer to get a job? u can dog walk, or baby sit, or mow lawns. maybe if they feel that u want to help, they will not look down on u, but they will feel easier to explain things to you and consider what u are saying.

if u feel that they are completely not understanding, being mean, then it is true that u are 13 and shoud listen to them. =T but that doesn't mean that they are right... it means they are just doing what they *think* is best for u all. what u need to do now, is do the best for yourself. if u are not happy, u can change it. use these negative things and experiences in ur life to make yourself *better*. work on ur confidence, work on ur hobbies, work on making urself a smarter, stronger, happier, positive person. that way, u will be able to find happier, positive people and keep them in ur life. the first thing is to try to help urself become Positive. then work on ur Parents, help them to become positive people too..the happier u are, the easier it will be to get thru any obstacles, *together*. next, wherever u go, whatever u do, be able to find good people! make good friends, find out who is good enough to be ur friend..becuase u urself are already a good friend if u keep working on urself to be happy and positive! that way, no matter where u move, u will always be able to make Good friends, ones that u will always keep in contact with.

if u don't have a good relationship ur parents, it will be hard to have it w/ other people. work hard, and u will feel an accomplishment. it is worth it to make yourself positive and healthy. no matter what, u have a family that loves u. so cling to the Positives in life, and do all u can to change the negatives. good luck~

Answer 10

make friends in your new town. or make friends online, there's always going to be places where you don't know anyone. I mean would you really want to live in some small town forever. I live in wyoming so I know all about small towns. New things shouldn't be scary, it'll be okay.

Answer 11

jesus my heart goes out to you. sounds like you've got so incompetent parents. children should never be forced to move around so much.

how about exercising to get out the built up aggression? or reading? sometimes i find it helpful to escape in a book.

you should also make your parents aware of how all this moving upsets you, which is very understandable by the way.

best of luck to you. keep your chin up. parents suck, but hopefully your's will listen to you.