Have you ever searched for your birthparents?

Question

I have searched for my birthparents. I was very promptly rejected. Was your reunion a success??

My adoptive parents were wonderful to me. It has been more of a curiousity than anything. My adoptive mom ( don't like to think of her that way) passed away from cancer many years. I am very grateful for them, the fact that they raised as their own. I did search my birthmother,but my family has always been with the family who took the time to raise me. I will never forget my mom. I know she is looking down on me from heaven. Thanks for sharing your experiences with me!!

Answer 1

I personally have never had a desire to. My adoptive parents are wonderful and I consider them to be my family - maybe you should consider who has always been there for you!

Answer 2

I was given up for adoption when I was an infant. I'm 34 now.
My parents raised me, and told me when I was about 7 or 8 that I was an adopted child.
When I was 23, I started looking, and went through a support group.
My birthmom had started looking the day I turned 18, and the state then made the match.

It was a happy reunion, and we've become close friends.
I call them on the weekends, and visit every few months.

There was never any rivalry between moms, but it helps that one is in Chicago and the other's in New Orleans, and I live in Nashville.

"Happiness is having a close loving family in another city" - Groucho Marx

Here's the thing, when the state looks to make the match, one person's right to privacy outweighs the other person's desire to know.

Answer 3

Well, I have. I have always lived with my birthmom, better know as mom, but when she had me, she was sixteen and the father, my birthfather left. I think it was court ordered that she had full custody because he did not want anything to do with me then, but all of my life I have always wanted to at least have a glimpse of who he is/was.So about 2 years ago, I did a search online (my grandmother had his social security #) and I found an address, I wrote a long, heartfelt letter to him, and about a week later, I got the letter back, saying that the person at that address is unknown...so I had no luck. Some days, I still think of looking for him, even though I have been told by many he was worthless, I just want to know if I have any 1/2 sisters or brothers...and find out who others are on his side of the family...maybe one day I will find him, but it may be too late.

Answer 4

I can also understand a child wanting to meet their real parents, but really the best way to go is the fact that they gave you up. Don't try and find them becuase it can and most likely will if you decide to come back in their life. I answered a similar question and told a story of a friend. I'll tell that story again.

(Short version)

She went to Kansas and met her real family and she was not welcome to stay with her real mom becuase for her mom's husband she was the result of what happened in the past when this lady cheated on him. She went down anyway against his wishes and the fmaily almost became destroyed.

This is a reason as to why it is most likely best not to show up in your parents lives. They gave you up for a reason. Even if you don't know the reason, it's ok. You still have parents who love you and you should keep it that way.

Answer 5

Too bad sorry . I'm not adopted but my friend found her mom and siblings on myspace. however she doesn't really want to be reunited with them cuz she loves her family and she's knows her birth mom is screwed up. But I think the majority of those reunions don't go well. sorry you had to go through that but maybe it'll help you appreciate the family you have after all they're you're real family not the people who gave birth to you.

Answer 6

Unfortunately, you have to deal with the sarcastic people on this site answering a serious question with a quick "Uhm, well, I LIVE WITH THEM! Duh.".

Some people have no desire to find their birth parents because they have had such a great life with their current guardians to even care. By searching for your biological parents, you aren't necessarily saying that you disrespect your adoptive/foster parents, you are just curious, and some people do not understand that.

I wish you luck in your search for your parents, I am sorry you recieved rejection.

Answer 7

I search for mine and found my birth father i was never able to locate my birth mother but i am still looking.
My birth father was nice for the first 2 conversations and then he said he wanted nothing to do with me even though i was 23 when i contacted him asking for nothing nor an explanation as to why or how come. He said to me i was a mistake he made long ago and did not want to remember the past.
So as you can see mine was not successful.

Answer 8

Sorry it went so bad for you.
My wife got in touch with both her mother and her father. Her mother went well (actually she just left yesterday after coming to visit for a week) whereas her father didn't go as well.
The funny thing is, is that her biological father was a friend of her adoptive parents family. No one knew they were related because my wife was supposed to be shipped out of town but she ended up staying in town. Her biological father actually ended up buying the house my wife grew up in.
When my wife finally got the feeling she should met him, we found out he was dying. He also had a teenage daughter that was pregnant and decided to give the baby up for adoption after seeing how well my wife turned out, but her dad had issues so it hasn't turned out very well.
Everything has it's time. It might not be now (it wasn't when my wife met her mom for the first time) but it will happen if it needs to. Hopefully it didn't leave to much of a hole in your life. I wish you the best.

Answer 9

I even have sought for my delivery father and mom. looking does not advise i did no longer love my adoptive father and mom. It does not advise my adoptive father and mom did no longer love me. searching for my delivery father and mom had no longer something to do with my adoptive father and mom. It had to do with understanding the place I got here from, with understanding something approximately my historic previous, my origins. it relatively is genuine that no longer all searches have satisfied endings, yet lots relies upon on what your expectancies are. while you're searching for for the acceptable discern, you would be enable down. while you're searching for for solutions, notwithstanding if your delivery father and mom are not as excited as you're, looking can help grant some solutions. it relatively is filling in the gaps of identification that adoption helps to create. so some distance, my reunion with my delivery mom is going properly. I even have not yet contacted my delivery father, yet that comes quickly. Is it each and every thing i assumed it would be? i do no longer comprehend. I went in with as few expectancies as a threat. That seems to have been very effective.

Answer 10

Sorry, I was raised by them too. Well, my mother I should say. But I knew where my father was. He just didn't want to be a part of my life. Now he's trying to and I don't know if I really want him to.