To Respond or Not Respond...that is the Question??

Question

My ex & I broke up 3 1/2 weeks ago. I'm still very much in love w/ him & would do anything to have him back. He said he wanted to be friends & leave the door open for future potential. I agreed b/c I want him in my life. I have not begged or pleaded for him to come back & I'm trying to be friends. Since the breakup, he's met someone else & is already calling her his g/f (3 1/2 wks after me). But, he keeps emailing me & trying to keep in contact with me...like we're best friends. (He has NOT attempted even once to have me as a booty call). We have not gone more than 4 days w/out some kind of contact...of which he has initiated all of it. I want him back & don't know how to go about getting him back...esp. now that he's got someone else. One part of me wants to be responsive to him b/c I feel if I'm not, then he's just going to go away. But the other part of me feels like I shouldn't respond (go NC) w/ the hope that he'd miss me & realize that we should be together. Any suggestions??

Answer 1

I think the best thing you can do for yourself is to go "no contact", at least for a little while. I know it sucks, but I think you have to start preparing yourself for the possibility that the two of you may never get back together, and if you let him string you along like this, you're setting yourself up for a life of misery.

If he's already dating someone else, I'd be willing to bet money that he met her BEFORE the two of you broke up. It also makes me wonder just how long before the breakup he may have met her...hopefully he's a stand-up guy and broke up with you before moving in on her, but you'll probably never know for sure.

Give yourself a little time to heal and move on before contacting him again. I'm not saying that things won't eventually work out between you and him - I have a friend who went through almost the exact same thing, and here he is, three years later, trying to get back together with her - but I wouldn't get your hopes up too high. Besides, do you really want to be with someone who may not be 100% sure that they want to be with you?

Good luck to you!

Answer 2

To Me This Sounds Like He Has You As His Stand-By. If His Relationship Doesn't Work With That Girl, He'll Have You To Fall Back On.
You Should Try To move On. Try To Do Some Dating. Or At Least Go Out With The Ladies On A Night On The Town And See If Someone Else Sparks Your Interest.
I Know It's Hard When You Care.. But It's Even Harder Sitting At Home Dwelling On Them Being With Someone Else.

Think About You For A While...Put Him In The Back Of Your Mind.It Seems Like He's Not Sure Of What He Wants Yet. Give Him Time.

If It's Meant To Be He'll Be Back, And You Won't Have To Try To Get Him.
The Heart Always Finds Its Way Back Home.

Answer 3

I felt every bit of what you said, and you're right...that's a tough spot to be in. Maybe it's healthier to just , if not totally close the door, let it swing where it will unassisted by you for a time. Because, face it, the first thing you want to know is where you stand with this guy. The breakup was straight forward enough, but the "lease with an option to buy" sort of after-clause got a little ambiguous. Ambiguity leaves you vulnerable to being strung along, and lengthens the time it'll take you to truly move on if that's what's to come. If this is a cooling off period to rethink the relationship with the intent of coming back together, fine....if, however, this is a slow severing of emotional ties with the hopes of eventually being free of one another, that's another matter entirely. The problem is, both are equally possible, and you're not really sure which this is. That's because you're not calling the shots on this situation, he is. So, emotionally cooling out gives you protection against a bad outcome, and helps keep you off of the "wait and see" radar. It restores some level of dignity and control to you where it needs to be for your own emotional health. Good luck in this regard.

Answer 4

Call him and say you need to talk and when he gets there be all ready for him. And just say you have the best c*$k ever and you want it if he says no you know its over if he goes for it you know theres hope.

Answer 5

Maybe its time to move on like he did. I know it will be hard but theres tons of guys out there. I'm going thrue a divorce and I feel like I wont find anyone.

Answer 6

reply, if you don't it wll just seem like you don't want anything to do with him.