Whatever I think is the funniest gets 10 points!
2006-08-14 07:08:00 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Survivor, Texas Style
A major network is planning the show "Survivor 2" this winter. In response, Texas is planning "Survivor, Texas Style." The contestants will start in Dallas, travel through Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to Brownsville. They will proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland/Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there, they proceed to Abilene, and on to Ft. Worth and back to Dallas.
Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm gay, I voted for Bush, and I'm here to confiscate your guns."
The first one to make it back to Dallas wins.
2006-08-14 11:48:06 · answer #1 · answered by rsclflat 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A college class was told they had to write a short story in
as few words as possible. The instructions were that the
short story had to contain the following three things:
(1) Religion
(2) Sexuality
(3) Mystery
Below is the only A+ paper in the class.
"Good God, I'm pregnant, I wonder who the father is."
2006-08-14 18:33:09 · answer #2 · answered by Dellajoy 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
One of the planes four engine starts smoking and then stops working.
The pilots makes an announcement
"Due to engine trouble, we will be delayed landing for a half an hour."
Suddenly another engine starts smoking, it stops working too.
The pilots announces that they will be delayed landing for an hour.
A third engine starts to smoke and then it goes out.
The pilot again announces a delay in landing. Possibly two to three hours.
A blonde woman says to her boyfriend. "I hope that last engine doesnt go out, or we will be up here all day."
2006-08-14 14:44:33 · answer #3 · answered by chris z 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A taxi driver and a pastor die coincedentially on the same day and went to heaven around the same time. The taxi driver is right in front of the pastor when St. Peter calls for him. "Ah, taxi driver! Welcome to heaven! You get the gold staff, golden halo and the gold slippers! You are on level 7." The pastor is called next. "Ah, pastor! Welcome to heaven! You get the wood staff, plastic halo and the leather slippers. You're on level 2." The pastor is shocked. "Excuse me, but I am a man of God! Why did that taxi driver get better heavenly rewards than me?!" St. Peter rolls his eyes. "Because Pastor, when you preached, everyone fell asleep. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed for their souls."
2006-08-14 14:26:00 · answer #4 · answered by Sir Nigel 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Little Old Lady: "What else is there to do at the end of the world except pray?"
Girl: "Go shopping! The prices are great!"
2006-08-14 14:17:27 · answer #5 · answered by Angelina DeGrizz 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why, officer?"
"Because your breast is hanging out."
She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
2006-08-14 14:27:37 · answer #6 · answered by young_friend 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
What did the fish say when he ran into the cement wall?
Dam!
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean Beef!
What do you call a cow with *3* legs?
Tri-Tip!
What do you call a cow with *no* legs?
Ground Beef!
What do you call a *dog* with no legs?
Doesn't matter, he's not coming anyway!
enjoy
2006-08-14 14:33:29 · answer #7 · answered by Jesse J 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Turn up your speakers, get ready to laugh, and click on this link:
http://www.yourdailymedia.com/media/1152360540/Dog_Wins_A_Game_Of_Simon_Says
2006-08-14 20:47:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A husband and wifes were having sex, and the wifes was about to blow her husband *****, until their son went in. She quickly get off and the father zip up his pant, and the son asked"what you doing?". "Uh, nothing, your father having trouble with his pant so i decided to help him to zip it up". The son replied"why waste your time unzip it up, when the lady next door can blow it up for him".
2006-08-14 14:22:59 · answer #9 · answered by Viety 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
picture this geroge bush naked. how funny is that?
2006-08-14 14:25:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋