Here's one I liked alot:
"Did you hear that Xerox and Wurlitzer are merging?"
They're going to make 'reproductive organs' :-)
2006-08-14 07:06:57 · 17 answers · asked by JeffyB 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
NapalmBBQ: Excellent! So far, you're winning...
2006-08-14 07:15:52 · update #1
Girl's night out -----
Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.
Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee. So they decided to stop in a nearby cemetery. Having nothing to wipe with, one of them thought she would take off her panties and use them.
Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them, but was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.
After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home.
The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said "These damn girl's nights out have got to stop. I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!"
"That's nothing" said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck between the crack of her butt that said "From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you."!!!
2006-08-14 13:51:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
A new arrival in Hell was brought before the devil.
The devil told his demon to put the man to work on a rock pile with a 20-pound sledge hammer in 95 degree heat with 95% humidity.
At the end of the day, the devil went to see how the man was doing, only to find him smiling and singing as he pounded rocks. The man explained that the heat and hard labor were very similar to those on his beloved farm back in New York.
The devil told his demon to turn up the heat to 120 degrees, with 100% humidity.
At the end of the next day, the devil again checked on the new man, and found him still happy to be sweating and straining. The man explained that it felt like the old days, when he had to clean out his silo in the middle of August on his beloved farm back in New York.
At that, the devil told his demon to lower the temperature to -20 degrees with a 40 mph wind.
At the end of the next day, the devil was confident that he would find the man miserable. But, instead the man was singing louder than ever, twirling the sledge hammer like a baton.
When the devil asked him why he was so happy, the man answered, "Cold day in hell - the Knicks must have won the NBA Finals!"
2006-08-14 14:10:52 · answer #2 · answered by Tra_Cee78 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Survivor, Texas Style
A major network is planning the show "Survivor 2" this winter. In response, Texas is planning "Survivor, Texas Style." The contestants will start in Dallas, travel through Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to Brownsville. They will proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland/Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there, they proceed to Abilene, and on to Ft. Worth and back to Dallas.
Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm gay, I voted for Bush, and I'm here to confiscate your guns."
The first one to make it back to Dallas wins.
2006-08-14 18:48:59 · answer #3 · answered by rsclflat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I girl was at her grandparents for the weekend. The young girl went up to her grandma and asked her is she knew any good tricks. The grandmother replied " your grandpa does, go ask him and he might be able to show you a few".
The girl goes over to her grandpa and asks if he has any tricks he can show her. Grandpa replies " sure, come over here and sit on my lap" the girl sits on his lap. The grandpa then says " feel that finger poking in your a**? Look, no hands" !
2006-08-14 15:31:11 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's 2+2?
5.0843238650836510651510836583256384564365364485...!
2006-08-14 14:11:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The RABBI AND THE PRIEST met at the town's annual picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.
"This ham is really delicious", the priest teased the rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's againts your religion, but you just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, when are you going to break down and have some"?
The rabbi looked at his friend with a big grin, and said, "at your WEDDING".
2006-08-14 15:24:14 · answer #6 · answered by L!LO 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did J.S. Bach have so many children?
His organ had no stops.
You'd have to be familiar with a pipe organ to get this one.
Did you ever smell moth balls?
How'd you get their little legs apart?
Have a great day!!!!
2006-08-14 14:18:42 · answer #7 · answered by Coo coo achoo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why Koreans are banned to participate in world cup soccer?
because they put businesses on every corner.
why Mexico does not have Olympic team?
cuz every one who swims, runs , jumps is already in US .
Scottish Soccer team has won the match and in the dressing room couch goes on to thanks them: " You guys fought hard and made me proud today so all of you deserve a real refreshment , janitor, open wide all the windows in here"
2006-08-14 14:29:10 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the difference between men and government bonds?
The bonds mature.
2006-08-14 19:36:33 · answer #9 · answered by Nevar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice!
How do you know you're at a bulemic girls bachelorette's party?
The cake pops out of the girl!
2006-08-14 14:11:54 · answer #10 · answered by NapalmBBQ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋