He's a cab driver although he's only worked three hours over the past two weeks. She bought the car for him on a loan and she's now making the payments. He's meant to be saving up to move out (this week) but she found letters from credit card companies and bailiffs threatening to sue him. He's in absolute denial. He's now linked to her financially and she's got no idea what to do next. He hasn't paid for his taxi insurance for this month so that's his excuse for not working. He's 24 and has been like this for years but she wants to get rid of him now!!
2006-08-14 06:47:13 · 12 answers · asked by pascal 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The taxi is in his name so she can't sell it. We are the family and we have confronted him before. We thinm she should just cut her ties but he won't pass a credit check for aflat due to defaulting on credit cards,etc
2006-08-14 08:39:22 · update #1
O Pascal! That sounds frightful. I can relate to this .... Experience you see ...
In my case it was my mum's friend. Her son wasted a lot of money, ran into debts and, as he was living with her, she felt it her duty to help out. She too bought a car for him, he was meant to pay for some of the repayments that he didn't do, then creditors called at the house and gave her a very hard time. We all told her she should get rid off him, but she too felt he would never get a flat of his own because he couldn't afford the deposit.
In the end, she became ill with worry, took a stroke and ended up having to put hre house for sale to repay some of the creditors. And she moved into a one bedroom flat. He had no choice but go to the homeless unit. They kept him there for a few weeks then moved in to a bed and brekfast, after that he got a flat from the Council. He didn't pay his rent so got evicted.
The whole family stood firm when he demanded to move back in with her, asked her for more money to repay some more debts etc. His mum died after a second stroke, heartbroken at the thought that she couldn't help her son anymore, but she just couldn't.
So basing myself on such a sad story ... I would suggest you looked for places that would take on someone homeless, OK not flats but hostels, places like that and ensure he stays well away from his mother. You say teh car is in his own name but she must have a receipt for the money she spent on it? In which case she might be able to recoup some of the money she paid!
I think you should speak to a lawyer about this, take legal advice but, thinking back of my mum's friend .... Would advise getting him away from his mother.
Best wishes
2006-08-16 01:44:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She should sell the car for start. At 24, he is not going to change. Please get him kicked out before your mother in law loses a lot more than money, as he has no intention of paying her back. Rally the family round and confront him, and if he has anything worth selling, sell it to pay back debts.
I suggest she goes to citizens advice and try to work something out, because if the bailiffs come round they will take anything they please, and why should she lose her possessions or possibly her home (and her credit rating) because of this useless article.
If he has a crowd of you on his back, your mother in law won't be standing alone, so he will have no chance. Pack his bags, force him to leave what can be sold, change the locks, and throw him out the door. You could always get someone to give him a lift into the wilds of nowhere!
This is what should have been done to my sister's son, she has lost everything (her own fault) due to such a son.
2006-08-14 14:18:20 · answer #2 · answered by Thia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well as for the taxi if she has taken a loan out then she is responsible for that only.
As for the credit card companies and bailiffs my advice is to let them carry on,if he wont do work and he has run up debts then he ha to take responsibility for his own actions and maybe a visit from the bailiff might shock him into getting off his backside and doing some work, remember a bailiff will only take an inventory of his personal belongings which can be sold at auction, and the money will go towards paying off his debts, but remind him that they don't always go for what he may have payed for them for example if he bought a £200 TV at auction it may be sold for a s little as £20, also if the credit card companies take action against him this will without doubt affect his chances of credit rating, if he wanted to apply for mortgages or loans in later life.
the best thing he can do is to cut up the credit cars get in touch with all the companies he owns money to and sorts out a repayment plan, this also includes paying back his mother.
Its a natural instinct for your his mother to want to help but if he doesn't learn to stand on his own two feet he never will and will be relying on his mother for the rest of his life, and then what happens when mother is no longer around.
have you or your wife tried to speak to him about it?
anyway best of luck
2006-08-14 14:02:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She could look for suitable accommodation for him, start ringing around: then as soon as something crops up, when the waster son is out of the house, she can pack all of his stuff and dump his things out on the front lawn ready for him, with the contact information he'll need to find his own place to live.
Otherwise, she will need to contact the Citizens' Advice Bureau or the equivalent, who will arrange for suitable legal protection and representation. The local town council's accommodation and housing department might be of help, as well.
2006-08-14 13:55:12 · answer #4 · answered by fiat_knox 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know she is now tied to him financially but if she doesnt do something now it will only get worse, she will have to pay back the loan she got for the taxi but if she carrys on he will just sponge of her forever. let him get sued it might give him the kick up the backside he needs, he is old enough to stand on his own two feet tell her to get him out or he must get to work and start paying his own way in life.
hope she gets the result she wants, cant stand people who sponge.
2006-08-14 13:59:18 · answer #5 · answered by hot property 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him from home. The financial issues must be resolved with a lawyer.
A solution for him: joining the Army.
2006-08-14 13:53:26 · answer #6 · answered by Carlos Sosa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get her to go to the bank etc to tell them what has happened maybe they can help change over everything to his name then it won't be on her head if things get worst then tell him to get out you have to be cruel to be kind. she could always take the taxi test and start doing it herself since she bought it
2006-08-14 13:57:05 · answer #7 · answered by Scottish lass 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a real shame that vets do not give free lethal injections as he could go to the vets and get help!!
I hope it gets sorted
2006-08-14 13:52:16 · answer #8 · answered by ACANTHUS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to get legal advice and financial. But is it really your problem or your partners? You may make things worse I suggest?
2006-08-14 13:55:04 · answer #9 · answered by Ade Babe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
open the door and tell him to get the hell out....pack his stuff and leave it on the door step, the reason he is like this is because she has been babying him his whole life. if he is a bum , it's because she wants him that way. he's 24....what more can i say?
2006-08-14 13:55:45 · answer #10 · answered by canada grl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋