Help with an Ex...?

Question

My ex and I broke up about 3 1/2 weeks ago. I am still very much in love with him and would do anything to have him back. He said he wanted to be friends and leave the door open for future potential. I agreed because I want him in my life. I have not begged or pleaded for him to come back and have tried being friends. Since the breakup, he's met someone else and is already calling her his g/f (3 1/2 wks after me). But, he keeps emailing me and trying to keep in contact with me...like we're best friends. We have not gone more than 4 days without some kind of contact...of which he has initiated. I want him back and don't know how to go about getting him back...esp. now that he's got someone else. One part of me wants to be responsive to him b/c I feel if I'm not, then he's just going to go away. But the other part of me feels like I shouldn't respond (go NC) with the hope that he'd miss me and realize that we should be together. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Sounds like he's trying to keep a little piece on the side for booty calls. I think you need to get over him big time (no contact for several weeks) and then decide whether you want to spend time with him any more. If you want to be friends with benefits, then that's fine, but you have to de-emotionalize first.

Answer 2

Sounds like he wants you on the reserve list so that he has someone to fall back on. This is not fair to you. If this man really cared about you, he would set you free. He has not. That shows hoe little he really values you as a person and shows no respect whatsoever.If the man really cared for you and wanted to remain "friends", he would let some time pass and then a quick e-mail or call just to say Hi! This man does not want this. He just wants a back-up playmate.
Time for you to be by yourself for a while. Learn to love yourself and put yourself first. Then the rose colored glasses come off and you can see a situation for what it is .

Answer 3

first of all
i disagree with most of the answers
first he is not playin games with u because he told u
he wants to be friends and maybe someday to get back together
so he is single now and so are u
both of u guys should be dating

what he is doing, is dating other girls to see if theres someone out there better than u
obvious he hasnt found her and still keeps u in his life

u should date others too
now continue being his friend, show him what he is missing
do not show off, just be there for him (as a friend nothing more) and eventually he will realize that u the best pick

Answer 4

The hardest thing to do after a break up is to remain friends, that is if one still has feelings, which you do. There is nothing wrong with keeping in touch but keep it at a distance this way he gets the chance to miss you (if he still has feelings) and you get the chance to heal. If he leaves wish him well and realize that there is a reason why you broke up in the first place.

Answer 5

Hey I feel for you! There are times to hang on, and times to move on. Which do you think you are in?
I have exes that are over a quarter of a century gone! I am 54, and still sort of miss some of the women I have been with! Yeah really! I guess I am so damn lucky to have known these women! Give it up! Move on! Life is too short to worry about mistakes, just appreciate the next women, and believe me there is always a next woman!

Answer 6

It might be best to go ahead and try the friendship thing for a while. If you rush back into the relationship things might not go as smooth as you want. Let him continue to see the person he is with, there has to be a reason you all aren't together. Everything happens for a reason so just let nature take its course and let things play through. If he is keeping contact with you he still has feeling for you, cause you don't want to seem desperate so just take things slow and see what happens.

Answer 7

You first have to remember why you broke up in the first place and figure out if it is still an issue or not.

Leave him alone until they break up or it will just cause conflict between the 3 of you, unless the new g/f is still dating other guys...in that case, I say tell him how you feel and see what he has to say.

Never forget your reason for breaking up in the first place, because if has not been resolved yet, it is considered an ongoing issue, and one that will eventually re-appear.

Answer 8

Although it may be hard, move on!! The best way to move on is to cut all ties. Previously, I used to remain friends with my ex bfs but my present bf insisted that i cut all ties with my last and it was soooo much easier to move on.

Especially in a case where you are still in love with this person it will just hurt you more thinking and hearing all about his new life. YOu do not need to torture yourself.

Give it up he is not ur best friend and he never can be there is too much history.

Answer 9

You are still in love with him and he has moved on. It's best that you move on, this is not the time for you to be "friends" with him. You shouldn't contact him and ask him not to contact you for about 2 months. He's trying not to look like a jerk by handing you the let's-be-friends card but instead he's just torturing you. Protect yourself, tell him to leave you alone.

Answer 10

well im going through almost the exact same thing right now and everyone told me to just leave her alone "no contact" and im really glad i listened i havent been mean i've just been short and no phone calls emails or visiting...i was so excited because yesterday she stopped by and talked to me for awhile i can tell she still cares about me and i have to be strong just like you should be and not talk to her/him...so yes i think you should just stay away as hard as it is i think it will help i say give him a week or 2 and he'll be calling ya :)