Do you agree with me or my brother??

Question

My brother and sister in law have a son and a daughter, just like my husband and I. My brother believes in being honest with his children. I believe in being honest with our children also. My brother has told his children that their is no Santa Clause, Easter Bunny, tooth fairy, etc. My opinion is that children need something to believe in like Sant, Easter bunny. My children believe in them but my nephew and niece don't. Who do you feel is right?

Answer 1

Where it relates to his children, your brother is right, because he's their parent and the responsibility for their upbringing rests with his wife and him. Conversely, where it relates to your children, you are right for all of the same reasons. Pretty simple, huh?
If you'll permit me a brief word to all those who feel that raising children without the benefit of myths such as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny somehow harms the children, let me remind each of you that these icons are symbols of larger, more profound issues, namely the holidays they celebrate...Christmas, and Easter. In their present form, these icons are used more as commercial draws into the seasonal shopping "frenzies" that occur each year, and as such, have very little relation to what they initially were chosen to represent. In fact, these icons in recent years have REPLACED the bona fide real significance of the holidays in the first place. That's insanity. Christmas ( not Xmas) represents the birth of Christ, and Easter is a celebration of His resurrection. I don't see it as harming children in any way to raise them void of references that don't represent their intended purpose in the first place. Remember the reasons for the seasons, and teach your children to do the same; that'll provide joy that will last them a lifetime. We'll always find time to shop, but let's give God His due.

Answer 2

This is a very hard one to answer to say the least. I had the chance to have all that fun when I was growing up and enjoyed it soooo much. I remember when I was growing up and talking to kids about getting to hunt the Easter Eggs that the bunny had left, and getting money that the tooth fairy had left, and what Santa got me for Christmas, and then to watch the sadness cross their faces as they did not have the fun that I had growing up.

I remember one year that a family came to a picnic for Easter, thinking to was just going to be a picnic. They had little kids, it was so sad when all the other kids got to go "hunting" the eggs and those kids weren't aloud to do it.Those kids were so sad.

I mean there is a Santa right, I mean every Christmas does someone not dress up in a Santa suit? The Easter bunny, is there not someone that dresses up in a bunny costume?

I know it is a too each is there own, but yet don't those kids deserve a happy child hood. Sad to say, both you and your brother are right. Hopefully he does some thing to compensate for what his kids are missing out on.

Answer 3

I agree with both. Every parent does what they think is the best for their children, and in this matter, there is not right or wrong. It depends on the child.

I was grown up believing in all of that stuff, and even though at 6-7 I realized without any trauma that it was all fake (my parents didn't know I knew until I was 10), I did enjoy it all as a game. My wife grew up always believing that it was all truth, and when she found out it was all a lie she was so disappointed that she doesn't want our children (1 and 3) to be grown up in that game.

What we do is, tell them that Santa, fairy tooth, etc are NICE PRETENDING GAMES: you can enjoy the fairy tale thing but you must know the truth. Just like in Halloween: you can get disguised, but you know that it is not you but only a costume.

Answer 4

~ ~ ~I AM PRO CHILDHOOD ~ ~ ~
That is ironic that I was upnoth for a family gathering and we were all talking about the same thing. A bunch of Moms. We all agreed that it is fun for the kids, but felt that maybe the kids will think that we lied and not trust us. We all agreed that it is more important for the children to be kids. They need to believe in the magic of childhood, easter bunny and Santa. Why take to innocence away? I grew up believing in all the above and I never once thought my parents lied. By the time the kids are old enough to know there is no fictional characters. They will know and appreciate the magic you put into their lives.
If your brother disagrees then just let him know you understand his point of veiw, but that you still want your kids to believe and to make sure kis kids know and respect that.
My sister told her oldest one so he could help surprise the younger ones. I disagreed but respected her parenting. I tell all my nephews and neices and my own kids that I believe. When they ask me if Santa is real. I say I still believe even if they tell me they dont. I love to keep the kids little for as long as possible. They grow up too fast.

Answer 5

My children were taught that there wasn't such a thing as Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy, or the Easter Bunny, either and I think it's silly for parents to think their kids are going to grow up missing out on something if they don't believe in make-believe characters. My kids still get money if they lose a tooth, but it comes from Mommy and Daddy. It's funny because they know those things aren't real so my kids also know that there aren't such things as monsters, either. Being honest with our kids has made our kids more grounded into reality and they aren't going to be disappointed knowing that Mommy and Daddy lied to them their whole lives. Every parent can make their own choice, but I don't think it will make the kids any better by believing in that stuff. My kids think it's funny when they hear other kids talking about it and find it very childish and they are still very young. They think it's cool to have that extra knowlege long before their peers. We told them that most parents want their kids to believe in it, but we'd rather them know the truth. They were happy we told them, not broken-hearted and in therapy. It's MAKE-BELIEVE...That isn't going to make them happier kids. Seriously.

Answer 6

I would probably agree with you because even though we all know kids will one day grow up and believe there is no Santa Claus etc,,,, I still think that kids need to have a good time with make believe as kids. It's all about fun when your a kid. So what these people are not real.The whole point of it is so that these children have a make believe good time. What will they remember once they reach adults, and everyone else is talking about good childhood memories that had to deal with Santa, and Easter, and so on,,,,, I would just leave the situation alone with your brother because it sounds like he's not going to change his thinking with this, and besides his kids don't believe in anything anymore because he ruined that for them. It's his home, and if he feels that way then you have to respect it, but I would totally agree with you on this one. Just know that your kids will have the great times and great memories from all these make believe holidays. It's not real, but who cares, it's all about the good time and fun that goes with it!!!!

Answer 7

I believe both of you are right in your own way, Everyone has their own believes on everything from the war to raising children.
I like the fact that my children believe in something that they can not see, it is easier to talk to them about Faith and Religion among other things. however being completly honest I think robs them of being children in the first place.
But my Dad was always completly honest with me and my sister when we were younger and it was easier when we were low on cash around the holidays, We didn't get so depressed thinking that we weren't good enough for Santa to come visit us.
Either way If every parent raised their children the same then I don' t think this world would be as interesting as it is....
I would however talk to your family and have them talk to your nephew and niece and ask that they don't spoil it for your kids, I am sure it will come up since families spend a lot of time together.
good luck

Answer 8

I believed in Santa Clause, Easter Bunny, tooth fairy, etc. and I don't seem to feel that it has negatively impacted me. I look back on those days with a warm feeling in my heart. I agree with you. The worst thing a kid learns a he grows up is that his own parents are fallible. I doubt that your brothers kids will be damaged by his rules of "truth", but I just feel that the kids are going to miss out on a lot of fun.

Answer 9

No one is right. Each parent has the right to do it as they want. There's pro and cons to each choice. For instance, I'm not even a traditional or religious person and would like to avoid all the holiday hocus pocus when I get older. But, for my kids, I don't I'll have the options b/c for a while, they'll be too young to understand why we'd do something different than everyone else. So, I'd give my children the benefit to believe what they want w/out ruining it for them, b/c literally ALL of them grow up smart enough to make the realization on their own.

Answer 10

Now a days kids are born like grownups and in my opinion, that is wrong but understandable and it is all due to society. It is extremely hard to raise a child properly now a days because of society being so WRONG.

This all depends on how old the children are. If they are under the age of 7, then that is wrong. Children should be children and should have that innocence growing up.

You are right because telling children these don't exist is like taking their childhood away. In a way, your brother is also right because he is just trying to save his children from embarassment in school.