We've been friends for 4 years, have been dating for the past 6 months. Things are great, and we have an awesome relationship. We have been playing poker once a week with a bunch of our friends, for fun and of course money. He has now decided he wants to play as much as possible and try to get into the world series. I feel like he's going to throw everything he has worked so hard on away, including me. He is already spending less time on his real estate business. I've talked to him about how I feel and he doesn't understand why I won't support him on his "dream." Am I overreacting, or should I be concerned? Please tell me what you think.
2006-08-14 05:43:53 · 5 answers · asked by Ladybeth 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think your right to be concerned. Making a living playing poker is a risky business. Very few people every succeed and a heck of a lot of people end up spending most of their life poor. My first fear is that he has developed a gambling addiction. This can be a very serious life long problem if it isn't stopped now. The other problem is that he is making poker the number one thing in his life instead of you. You deserve a man who puts you first before anything else. Unfortunately not only is he putting poker first, but he doesn't seem to care about your feelings and how you feel about the situation. You need to look at this situation very closely and decide if this is really the relationship you want to be in for the rest of your life. I could very easily see this developing into one where you end up supporting his habit and living from one good streak to another as best as you can.
2006-08-14 10:05:06 · answer #1 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough question to answer. I think the bottom line is, whenever a question is asked when poker (or golf, or scuba, or any potentially expensive and time-consuming pastime) is played off against something that really should matter more -- a relationship, a life crisis, a business -- the 'bigger issue' should win out.
If all he wants to do is get to the World Series, surely he could put aside $800 per month from his business income and go once a year? To win a seat is quite a longshot, but many people do so and balance their jobs and relationships.
If, on the other hand, he wants to play as much as possible, that indicates a potential addiction. I DO make a living playing poker, but the best thing I ever did was stop ONLY playing poker. I now aim for a daily average target, and when I hit it, stop and spend time on other interests, including my family, my website and so on.
I would advise against giving him the ultimatum of choosing between you and poker. It's too extreme. Instead, you could insist that he sets aside set periods to play in and spends as much, if not more, quality time with you.
2006-08-16 15:30:56 · answer #2 · answered by Father Ashley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poker is extremely tough to earn a living at. The Highs are extremely High and the Lows can be awful. I suggest he treats poker like a business and set aside 4 hours a day to play and at least 8 hours a day to real estate. If he keeps accurate records of wins/losses, he can audit himself.
A professional career in poker can be extremely boring. If he can't admit the losses than he really isn't cut out for poker, you can't win all the time.
Trust me I know...
2006-08-16 02:32:47 · answer #3 · answered by pokerESQ.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure that he doesn't have the potential to be a world class poker player? Maybe he's the next Negraneau or Ivey or Hansen or Greenstien or Hellmuth or Lederer. He'll never find out unless he gives it a shot.
Just make sure he plays within his limits and has an adequate bankroll.
2006-08-14 12:50:49 · answer #4 · answered by Steven S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u r over reacting
2006-08-14 12:51:56 · answer #5 · answered by Another Addict 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋