Okay I talk to this guy from Egypt like three times a week, my bf thinks I talk to him everyday no matter what I say. I consider him a online friend, mostly we talk about my interests in Egypt what its like there ect. He says its ruining our relationship I talk to him. He says I am a bad person because it doesn't bother me I talk to this guy. He says I am out of line and obsessed because I refuse to stop chatting with him when he is on. I mean the guy is only thousands of miles away and it would take1500 dollars to go there, yes I would love to see Egypt but I can't now, so I don't understand why he is so bothered by it and why he refurs to it as a "affair" .
Is he right or am I right what do you think? Please put your opinion and I will share it with him later
Also I believe alot of the argument is based on the fact he's a Arab and I don't know why we wouldn't like Arabs except for Isreal but I just don't share his veiw. Should I have to being a American?
2006-08-14 05:27:41 · 39 answers · asked by Sandra 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It wouldn't bother me if he was talking to a woman who lived in a place he was interested in just as long as they weren't cyber sexing or anything.
2006-08-14 05:37:25 · update #1
I NEVER chat with this guy when my bf is around because yes I would rather be with him
2006-08-14 05:39:02 · update #2
Having an online friend in a country with a more or less completely difficult culture is a great thing and it will enrich your life. I am American and have two chat friends in Iran and this allows me to view the world just a bit differently than I might otherwise.
Having a boyfriend who is jealous will NOT enrich your life.
2006-08-14 05:53:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, your BF is right. BUT, is the relationship serious enough where you're not to have frequent contact w/other men? Put yourself in his shoes. Would you like him to have a friend online that he'd talk to 3 times a week? You ever heard of "cybersex"? You should think about how important your relationship's wellness is to you. If you think he's being inreasonable about it, then you probably shouldn't be w/him, and instead be single, because that's a bachelorette mentality. Otherwise, if you have no problem adjusting to his feelings (which is what partners are supposed to do in a stable/healthy relationship), then it shouldn't be an issue. Simply prioritize.... A) friend in Egypt (that does nothing for u, except good conversation and problems w/the BF), or B) BF's happiness, which should lead to your own...?
2006-08-14 05:38:58 · answer #2 · answered by ControVerse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he feels threatened in your friendship. you know this though, but you both need to sit and talk about this. be open and honest with your boyfriend. you shouldn't have to give up a "friendship" with someone else...what kind of threat is there in such a long distance friendship?
but, his mistrust in Arab's come from his own up bringing! you were not raised the same way, and no he shouldn't expect you to feel differently. people can't control how they feel about things. you have 2 different cultures here, and you both have to find a way of dealing with the differences together! that takes time!!!
jealousy is another thing your bf has to feel at your relationship/friendship with the other guy!
to me...i would think that this is also a normal reaction in a way. you will have to assure him that it's not an "affair" and couldn't be even if you were able to see the other guy. you care for your bf more than anyone, so let him know this!!!
2006-08-14 05:43:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 times a week? is this guy an egypt expert? cause 3 times a week is too much for an "interest" in egypt. The egyptian guy is interested in you and probably thinks u ll visit egypt someday and have the chance to be with you. (its sad i know XD). Its doesnt matter if he's far away, what would you feel about your bf chatting 3 times a week with a hot brazilian girl about brazilian culture?
2006-08-14 05:38:42 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understan he is just your friend and if you are sharing that friendship all the way to egypt with your boyfriend then its obvious that you are not hiding anything from him. now if you are in your boyfriend's shoes you would not like a bit if he is talking to a girl all the way to france, or mexico or even in another state, think about that, i understand why he is being disturbed about that, i think you have to respect him in that way and stop talking to that guy, i mean it would be ok if you talk to him once a month but 3 times a week!! may sound that he is interested in you or you in him. Maybe you are not interested in him but the fact that he talks to you, he can be and that really bothers your boyfriend. You don't want to screw up your relationship with someone that loves you and you love, for somebody that u don't even know!! he may be a freak, or a psyco...who knows! if I was you, i would definetly stop talking to him.
2006-08-14 05:42:29 · answer #5 · answered by Luna 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your online friendship with this guy is harmful. You don't talk to him all the time, and talking about Egypt is not an affair.
You don't seem to be hiding him from your bf, which is a good thing. He should be glad that you share this info with him.
You are not a bad person, your bf however seems very insecure.
2006-08-14 05:37:18 · answer #6 · answered by lilkitkat80 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My gut reaction is that your boyfriend is feeling insecure because the attention you're giving this guy is attention you're not giving him.
Please note that if you feel he's being unreasonable, odds are good that saying "the people on Yahoo! Answers think you're being insecure" is not going to make things any better.
How does he react in other situations? Are you allowed to have time with your own friends without him, or have you been drafted into his social circle at the expense of your own? When the two of you go out, does he do a lot of kissing you and putting his arm around you while you're talking to other people? That's often the human equivalent of marking one's territory by peeing on it.
I know you think the problem is that he's racist, but I would make *very* sure the problem isn't something more pervasive if you're intending to pursue a longer-term relationship with your boyfriend.
2006-08-14 05:36:51 · answer #7 · answered by Katie S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see what wrong w/ it. I mean, you're not doing anything with this friend. I had a best friend like that, but I never liked him.
The thing is that your bf is jealous of the time you spend with this guy. He's getting scared that your affections may change towards him.
Regarding the Arab thing, tell your bf that unless the Egyptian guy is Arab, and he proposes to you, then he has NOTHING to worry about.
2006-08-14 06:29:50 · answer #8 · answered by mommy_mommy_crappypants 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't feel like you are cheating on him and you are only talking about egypt and not any physcial attractions between you. Obviously your bf is the one with the issue and if he can't handle you talking online with people then he will be having a serious jealousy issue when it comes to real life. Either kick him to the curb or sit him down and talk to him about it. But, first you need to realize exactly what you have between the guy that you are talking to online. Only you know what is going on. Be honest with him and to yourself.
2006-08-14 05:33:50 · answer #9 · answered by kitty kitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is making your boyfriend this upset, I think YOU are in the wrong. How would you feel if the roles were reversed? If chatting with this guy is cutting into time you could be spending with your boyfriend, that isn't right at all. Him being an Arab shouldn't matter, just him being in the way is the problem.
2006-08-14 05:33:18 · answer #10 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋