ok, so my EX-WIFE doesn't spend much time with the kids, which is fine, cause that means more for me... and all of the sudden this weekend she says she it takeing them for 3 days next weekend when she knows we have a cross country vacation planned that the kids helped planned...... Am I bitter or is she just playing games?
2006-08-14 05:22:14 · 12 answers · asked by Reverand Ray 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
yup, she's playing games. it's not fair on the kids because i bet they are really looking forward to it. it seems she is using the kids to get to you for some reason. you have to stand your ground and tell her your taking the kids on the vacation THEY planned with YOU!
2006-08-14 06:19:02 · answer #1 · answered by Jan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SHE is playing games. IF you told her about YOUR plans...
IF not you really need to learn to communicate.
Do not play them back it is a messy deal and the kids will get hurt!
Time for adults to grow up and take responsibilities of child rearing seriously.
You both seemed to have failed at your marriage, do you want child rearing to go amiss also?
Did you TELL her in advance about your plans?
If you did then SHE has to let you and the kids continue your plans!
If NOT, THEN SHE HAS TOLD YOU ABOUT HERS, IF SHE AND YOU CANNOT WORK THINGS OUT now THEN YOUR FAMILY IS HEADING FOR ONE DISASTER AFTER ANOTHER, AND THE KIDS GET HURT.
You cannot expect her to read your mind.
Communication is very important while raising kids in a split family.
And being on the same page.
As I said, your marriage failed now try to make PARENTING WORK!
You can make it work it takes two adults, that WORK together to raise the children.
Even if you are in separate house holds, it can be done. Do not let the children suffer in your games.
2006-08-14 12:39:54 · answer #2 · answered by Samuella SilverSelene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, you're not bitter. she is for what she is doing. she know's you have a cross country vacation planned but yet she wants to take the kids then out of the blue. it sounds like she doesn't want you and the kids to have a good time together. SHE'S the bitter one, NOT you. =D
2006-08-14 12:31:58 · answer #3 · answered by sugar n' spice 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No i wouldn't say your bitter dealing with ex spouses and custody has a tendency to tick alot of us off.. Try being an adult about it explain to her you have had this vacation planned and see if she can take them the following weekend or maybe though out the week. If she isn't mature enough to discuss it then your just out of luck but i find when i do not let my ex husband get under my skin and deal with him in a mature manner his attitude about everything is alot better good luck
2006-08-14 12:29:12 · answer #4 · answered by Amy M 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are understandably feeling jilted. It sounds like SHE is the bitter one. She has accidentally, deliberately planned on ruining your plans......and forcing the kids to choose (so they lose no matter what). She feels guilty for not spending more time with them, and if she can both inconvenience you, and make the kids choose between you.....she is killing two birds with her self-serving agenda. DON"T fall for it.
Take the high road and promise the kids that YOU will reschedule with them. Think about Soloman. Let her take them for their weekend with her, but don't make it a sacrifice for them. They will unknowingly hold it against you. Eventually they will see your ex'es actions for what they are, and begin to understand her motives...... Let them discover this on their own. If you try to speed up their understanding, you will appear to be a character assassin. Let her hang herself, she doesn't need your help.
So it is understandable the she has inconvenienced you this much, but put your kids ahead of your feelings about it. Never talk negatively about your ex to them.
Too many ex'es poke a stick in each other's cage like this, by using the kids as pawns.....don't be like that.They should not have to pay the price.
Tell her, calmly, in front of them, that you will reschedule, and let them go this time....then ask her to please be more considerate of their existing plans next time....
2006-08-14 12:43:33 · answer #5 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
doesn't sound bitter really, you made plans "with" the kids involvement, so i believe she should makes other plans at another time! how is that fair to the children? they shouldn't be made to make a choice either...it's not their fault that this is going on, and to make them choose would be to put them in a bad position. kids don't want to hurt any-ones feelings, especially when it comes to parents.
good luck to you! take care
2006-08-14 12:30:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is her way of trying to say that she still controls you, your actions and the way you think. Tell her no, take the kids away next weekend and she can see them when you get back. She can't come and take them from you. That is kidnapping. If it is all court ordered, call the judge he will step in and help,. I have an ex-husband who does the same stuff... Trust me, say NO, or you are allowing her to think she still owns you, mind, body and soul!
2006-08-14 12:30:09 · answer #7 · answered by soinluv04 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She's selfish. Take the kids on the trip. . You don't sound bitter. But then again, I don't know the whole story.
2006-08-14 12:28:54 · answer #8 · answered by itsmeee2006 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is playing games. Talk to her and see why she just has to go on the same days you have your trip planned.
2006-08-14 12:29:05 · answer #9 · answered by courage 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her no. You've already made plans with the kids. She can have them before or after the trip.
2006-08-14 12:27:25 · answer #10 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋