I don't want and decided 2 years back with mutual understanding and my wife is using copper T. My 2nd child is 3 years old. The reall issue is of gender. As we hv both daughters.
I can't understand why my wife changed her mind. Please advise me with your sincere opinion. How to deal this situation and avoid going for 3rd child?
2006-08-14 04:45:40 · 19 answers · asked by chupke chupke 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I was in the exact same situation 2 years ago. My wife out of nowhere said "let's have a 3rd"... like you I was very hesitant to say okay... she told me she might regret 10 years from now not having a 3rd child, we are in our mid 30's...
Needless to say I now have a 7-5-1 g-b-g.... And I gotta tell you, I couldn't imagine life without my youngest and for me, it was great because she was the only 1 that didn't have colic.
Should you decide to, and you have another girl... you are set with clothes... and if you have a boy - they are easy to buy for - simply because there isn't a huge selection for them besides athletic shorts & t-shirts :)
If you choose to avoid it, be well aware that even if your wife agrees not to.. she will always hold that against you forever (sorry ladies, you know it's true!!!!!) and guaranteed to come up in arguments in the future... I still get reminded of being hesitant with this one...
2006-08-14 05:00:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy! You have your hands full. There is not a lot you can do about that situation, but to talk to her and remind her that you had a mutual understanding about just having 2 kids. You already know what she wants, so just let her know that you really don't want another. Let her know that if God wanted her to have a boy, she would have. Ask her what will she do if she has another girl. Would she then want a forth child to try for a boy. You know it will only come down to one thing, either you give in or she learn to accept the fact that you don't want another child and just be happy with the fact that she has two beautiful girls. If that don't work, maybe you can try counseling and maybe then they might be able to let her look at things in a different light and she might change her mind or understand. Good luck. God bless you and your family.
2006-08-14 05:05:50 · answer #2 · answered by killerlegs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sincere opinion is that if you don't want another child, she should not try to conceive without your permission. My son and wife went through the same thing...they had another girl !! Then they quit. It's not productive to just want a child for the sex of the baby. And if I were you, I would get a vasectomy asap because she will definitely get pregnant with/without you're consent if she really wants another baby. OH...my son and his wife have divorced and he's supporting 3 daughters.
2006-08-14 05:05:24 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It should be that if a couple discuss something to make a decision and doesn't come to a UNANYMOUS decision, that they should hold off.
If you don't want a third child, your wife should respect that. I'm a assuming that you've given it plenty of thought. Have you explained to your wife?
Are the reasons you don't want to have more children:
-Related to $$
-You two are getting older
-Don't want to start over with diapers
-Four is a pretty nice number
Whatever your reasons, explain them again. If there is still dischord, go see a therapist. A third UNINVOLVED party may be better suited to put reason to this. And then... Either have her tie her tubes or YOU get "fixed" so that no "accidents" happen.
Best wishes!!!
2006-08-14 04:52:53 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Saffire♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think alot of women just like newborns. Really. Have her babysit someone Else's baby. That usually killed any urge I had to have another one. Also talk about the future. College fund. The not so fun teen-age years. Then you would have a middle child. With the middle child complex. How happy you are with two healthy daughters. ect. ect. Pull out the big guns.
2006-08-14 04:56:46 · answer #5 · answered by hello 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow- that's kind of a har one to answer. You both need to sit down and discuss why the change of heart? She needs to realize that unless you have some sort of intervention there is no way to select male sperm to fertilize the egg...maybe she is just getting the *baby* itch since the 3 yr old is growing up and will head off to preschool in the near future. No one can solve this one but you and your wife- so just make some time for you and her to talk and see what is causing her to have these feelings now. Good luck! I hope everything works out for your family!
2006-08-14 04:51:43 · answer #6 · answered by sammy22005 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
regrettably on your spouse, there is no shown gadget to my expertise that facilitates you to assume a particular gender of a toddler in the time of being pregnant. I shown this with some docs i individually know which incorporate my very very own brother. And if for regardless of reason you and your spouse determine to choose for yet another toddler, then she must be arranged for any gender and make confident she provides a woman an identical love she could provide a boy. so some distance as your themes with having a third toddler are in touch, look at them with know on your present day teenagers. Are they sufficiently previous to deal with much less interest from their mum and dad and to even help out? could you your self be able to deal with splitting interest between each and every toddler? Do you think of you would be too previous of a determine? funds do not play the final function in such concerns, yet you need to be a sprint pragmatic approximately that, by using fact on one hand there is in no way sufficient funds and you may wait forever to have sufficient; on the different hand, you do not intend to make irresponsible judgements, as an occasion, if there's a huge hazard somebody will lose a job, or your earning are low, yet you do desire to place funds into your little ones, then having yet another toddler is a few thing you desire to think of two times approximately.
2016-10-02 01:45:06 · answer #7 · answered by olmeda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not sure what "copper T" is. Talk to her and ask her why she wants to have another child when you agreed there would be no more. She might just be having some issues of the kids growing up. Maybe some counseling.
2006-08-14 04:50:49 · answer #8 · answered by taz4x4512 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I had a similar situation. We do have a third child and my husband is so glad that we decided to. It does need to be both of you making this decision not just one. You may wont to remind her of the sleepless nights, the diaper changing, and the toting of diaper bags in out of stores. I don't know if this will help or not but you may need to talk if it is financially possible. I do think that you may want to keep and open mind about it to.
2006-08-14 05:00:11 · answer #9 · answered by Tammy L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Figure out if she wants another baby, or another child. Those are 2 different things, I assure you! A couple of years after my second child was born I started bugging my husband for one more, until I realized that it was another baby I wanted - the thought of having another child a few years down the road was enough to convince me to stop at 2.
2006-08-14 04:51:33 · answer #10 · answered by woodlands127 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋