help with disaplining a 4 year old a 18 month old and keeping the 4 month old safe?

Question

my 18 month old is starting to become mean in a hitting way my 4 year old has fits about everything from her older brother looking at her wrong to her little brother hitting her for no reason...how do u disapline them without having to spank...my 4 year old does things even though she knows its wrong but she wants to so she still does it and now the 18 month old is doing the same thing..help what to do

Answer 1

I have to agree with Strange Questions. Time outs work wonders, as long as you are consistent. Sometimes though, when they get really bad, early bedtime can work as well. The crying and screaming may start as well, but its all a ploy to get their way. No matter how bad they get with the fit throwing over your time outs or whatever method you choose, you have to stay firm. It can be heartbreaking to sit there and watch them cry, but if you give in, they have found their way of getting around it, and it will come back to bite you.
My 1 year old was running around smacking his older brothers on the head, and I ended up having to not only teach him what no meant, but lightly smacking his hand as well. This resulted in him running every time I said his name when he was caught doing it. He finally stopped when I started catching him while his hand was still in the air. There are different methods for everything, but you should try different things on your children and you may find that something different works for them. Just remember to stay firm, and be consistent. Don't allow it to slide one time and not another.
Good luck!

Answer 2

Are you thorough with your punishments that you hand down now? Do you make sure that they sit perfectly quietly in the corner for the required amount of time? Do you add on time if they don't sit quietly? If you take away a toy, do they have so many others that they don't miss it?

Do you lighten punishments because it's too much hassle for you to follow through? Any compromise will be seen as weakness, and they will not respect you or do what you say.

If they don't respond to your current punishments, and you're not willing to spank, you my not ever be able to control them. Children do not respond to reasoning. Their brains are not that developed. Sure, at that second, they'll nod and agree, but five minutes later, they're right back to where they were.

They are children. Their brains are not fully developed. That's why children are not held legally responsible for their actions. Their brain can not overcome their immediate urges because they might lose a privilege or have to sit in the corner. That's a future punishment, and it doesn't sink in at the moment.

Answer 3

Well first off what methods have you tried? Time outs ect.1 minute for how old they are. Its hard to say what to do with the 18 moth old. In my case I move the child that is hitting and get down to their level and say in a stern but soft voice don't hit. Make sure your looking the child in they eye. And as for the four year old disipline him/her with no desert or no tv or a time out when she does something wrong. That works best with me.
Good luck.

Answer 4

Be firm and be consistent. No warnings, no second chances. Tell the children in advance what the punishment will be and what behavior will bring it on, and follow through, EVERY TIME! It will be especially hard when you are away from home, because kids know when there is a lesser likelihood of getting mom and dad to punish them (for embarrassment, convenience, or whatever), and they will try to raise havoc then and there EVERY time! Good luck, you can do it! You are bigger and smarter, and good job for trying to nip it in the bud now.

Answer 5

separate them!

.they cannot be together unless they behave..TELL THE OLDEST TO STAY IN HER OWN SECTION!

PUT TIME OUT AND SPANK! NOT HARD! YOU HAVE TO BE PERSISTENT!

some kids will listen to time outs some are too hard to handle.....I TRIED NOT TO SPANK MY BOYS WHEN THEY WERE LITTLE BUT THEY WERE VERY AGGRESSIVE THEN I SPANK THEM THEY BECOME CALM!. BUT YOU CANNOT HIT TOO HARD THEY ARE VERY LITTLE..JUST ENOUGH SO THEY WILL LISTEN!

MY BOYS ARE NOW 7 AND 14...

I FIND IF YOU Have two kids spanking is the best way to make them listen! NOW DON'T HIT THEM HARD JUST ENOUGH....YOU HAVE TO BE FIRM YET LOVING OR ELSE THEY WILL RESENT YOU FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES!

AFTER YOU SEPARATE THEM YOU Make THEM HUG TOGETHER AND say sorry to each other !! and make sure you tell them that they have to care for each other as brother and sister...KEEP THEM LOVING TOWARDS EACH OTHER...

Answer 6

1...2....3... Magic dont give in count then give time out if they leave time out area pick up and place back try to make the spot as boring as possible (not kinding no books ..crayons...little fuzzy thing they can pick at)for your 4 your old 5 minutes for the littler one 3 minutes... been doing this my self for almost 10 years ...ask any one whos meets my kid they say shes the best behaved they have meet.

Answer 7

be very persistent with time outs or sitting in the corner, they will eventually get the hint and stop

Answer 8

where is the love and compassion in your home? why aren't your kids FRIENDS? what kind of hostility, open or hidden, in you the parents is affecting your kids?

get parenting classes and go here
http://www.howtobehave.com/
http://cyberparent.com/esteem/discipline.htm

Answer 9

im srry your going to have to spank

Answer 10

Maybe you should be a better mother.