Does my husband need anger management?

Question

I am frightened that my husband can't control his anger. Last night while I was at work, he told me our son kept waking up. The last time he woke, my husband threw our son's johnny jumper at the wall leaving a huge dent in it. Our son was not in the same room when this happened. I know my husband would never ever want to hurt our son, but I am afraid that one day he might not be able to control himself. How can I persuade my husband to get help for anger management?

Answer 1

The best way to get him to seek help is to offer to go with him. It may be that he's stressed or that he misses you... Or something else.

Talk to a therapist together. Don't point a finger so much as offering to bring your relationship to a higher level.

Good luck.

Answer 2

This is a bad thing for both of you...you need to work in peace, and if your husband is working, have you given any thought to getting a babysitter so your husband can sleep at night? It sounds that if this is an isolated reaction, he may have just been overly tired and really just lost it...something we are all capable of without needing anger management..and you don't want to feel resentful or worry that he will do it again. If you husband is usually an easy going guy who just lost his cool.. I would try to get a baby sitter to help take off some of the stress who can get up with the boy at night if necessary...Now if this is just another one of his tempertantrums, then, definetly get some help for him or tell him your concerns to protect your son, your husband, and you.

Answer 3

My ex was such a jerk at night time when the kids woke up. He is a great guy when well rested as far as being a parent goes. He is infinitely patient with the kids, and enjoys playing with them and spending time with them doing things that just frustrate me if I have to do it. However, at night time, it was a totally different story.

He just couldn't handle dealing with the kids at night. He is the kind of person who didn't wake up well and was a monster without enough sleep.

One thing that helped me deal with having small babies at home when we were together was the realization that for us, sharing "equally" in the child care, didn't necessarily mean doing exactly the same thing for exactly the same amount of time. Each of us had our strengths and weaknesses. For him, obviously night time was a weakness...he was nuts and couldn't handle things at night. So I just did that. But truthfully, daytime playing and carrying on with...going to the park with etc...he was way better at that than me, and he took on the lion's share of those responsibilities.

Once I stopped trying to make caring for our children perfectly equal (ie: I got up last time, you get up this time)...things went much more smoothly.

That being said, it is way overkill to have to throw a toy or anything hard enough to dent a wall. There is a problem there, if his reaction to being "bothered" by his own wife and child, manifests itself with that much physical aggression. If I were HIM, I'd want to get past that and think about why I am acting that way, and if I were YOU, I'd want to know that I was safe and secure too. Hopefully he sees that and gets some help, or at least just reevaluates his methods of response to stressful situations.

Answer 4

Please express yourself...if not for yourself then do it for your son...You can't raise a healthy happy child in an enviornment like that and if anything were to happen to your son...You would never forgive yourself...Your Husband definitely has some anger management issues that the both of you need to address...that was a warning sign that maybe your husband is a bit too overwhelmed...Whatever the case may be...Get help and now.

Answer 5

He does or he needs to find a way to control it. My husband was when we first started dating. His mom bred in him to be angry. I have talked with him about. We would get in fights all the time. Then one day, he decided to change. He got really angry and he felt like he was having a heart attack and he just said it's not worth it. From now on, the only time I am going to get angry is when someone messes with my family. I haven't seen him that angry since. You need to have a talk with him. You need to tell him, "what is you lose control with our child and hurt him really bad." "Aren't you scared that you might hurt him accidentally?" Saying this may wake him up and smell the coffee. Being angry doesn't do anything but make you feel bad and your not going to be happy until you let it all go.

Answer 6

Professional help sounds like it might help. But your husband needs to be full willing to seek help. I went through 5 different anger managments and got nothing out of them. When i was ready, the last one helped so much. He has to want to change before anything will help. Good luck :)

Answer 7

i think the best thing for you to do right now is talk to him. if your son keeps waking up, it can take a toll on the most patient of parents (i have one that wakes up constantly and sometimes i just have to walk away) throwing something in anger is just pure frustration. maybe he needs a break from the 'night shift.' i know that my dear man and myself take turns when the going gets rough and we know when one another needs a break. talk to him first and see how he's coping. my guess is he is not coping very well with the disrupted sleep and then go from there. good luck

Answer 8

You know sometimes you need to take them to a mental institute just to get checked out because my son's father we are no longer together because I was afraid of the same thing and guess what it turned out he was bipolar and that has to be controlled by medication and it is tough to live with someone who starts screaming and throwing stuff but really get him some help and just talk to him about it.

Answer 9

I don't know but I hope you can get him help. I have the same problem. My husband can't control his anger either.Our children have learned from him. Now I am seeking help for my 9 yr old son who can't control his anger. My 7 yr old daughter is constanly scratching her 4 yr old brothers making them bleed. Is there anger mangement for kids?

Answer 10

Obviously you need to take your son out of that environment. If you are waiting for the right answer look inside the common sense part of your brain. When he gets help you could arrange a reconciliation if you love him. Your first priority is to protect your son. He cant protect himself.