When my husband and I want to go somewhere or do a family thing my 11 year old daughter doesn't want to go with us (she used to all the time) and she's staying in her room more. I think she's starting to be more independent but my husband is a little worried. Is this normal?
2006-08-14 03:51:44 · 9 answers · asked by melbow35 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Oh this is very normal, trust me. I mean, every child is different, happens at different ages but she is in those preteen years, preparing for the time of teen years where they are wanting to be more independent. It is anything to be worried over but just sometimes you want to set the boundaries, not let her have her way of staying home by herself, all of the time. There are still family parties, etc that it is ok(as "***** as it may be,lol")to have her go. It is important to set the limitations, set the rules, and they'll be on their way. We've gone through it 3 times but it isn't easy at all is it? I used to have our daughter tell me everything, and now she hardly wants to talk some or most days. Its all a part of their growing up, maturing and becoming independent. Its not easy for them or us as parents! It all happens though, the circle of life........
2006-08-14 05:33:33 · answer #1 · answered by Laurie S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it is not normal. I have eleven year olds and they want to go everywhere we go. Sometimes they want to stay home to play video games or watch TV. My older child began asking for a few more liberties at the age of fifteen. She has been allowed a few more but nothing weird or crazy. Nope she is not allowed out alone nor is she allowed to date. She has friends and sometimes they come by our house but nothing out of the ordinary. I am strict and I want to see my girl finish college and get a good job.
You are the parent so take control. Search her room and look for anything unusual. Does she have a computer in her room? A TV? I'm not saying your child is bad or anything so please don't get me wrong. I am a parent too and I keep on top of what's going on with my kids because knowing what they are up to can prevent problems or embarrassment later.
Your husband's worries is instinctive of a good father. He worries because he cares about his little girl. Just do a bit of snooping and make sure she's not writing love notes or surfing crazy websites or watching bad shows.
Good luck :)
2006-08-14 04:06:53 · answer #2 · answered by CATHOLIC PRIEST!! 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
My son is turning 10 in two weeks. He is starting the same thing except that he's not in his room so much. He knows the rules. He's been following the rules. As long as we know we aren't going to be gone long I think it's okay to let him be independent. She's not hurting herself? She's not leaving the house while you're gone without your permission? She's not tying up the phone line non stop while you're gone(although that's normal)?
She follows the rules or guidelines? Then she's fine.
2006-08-14 04:00:48 · answer #3 · answered by puzzleraspie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are the parent, she is the child. What you say goes. You can't be a friend to your daughter and give in to her wishes because you want her to think your cool. Lay down the law and be consistent. If I were you I don't think I would allow her to stay home alone. Left to herself you just don't know what could happen.
2006-08-14 04:23:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My neice at the age of 2 is very independent. She has learned to say no in Ute which is kind of cute when she says. But, she has a mind of her own. Watch out world!
2006-08-14 03:57:53 · answer #5 · answered by RedCloud_1998 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is only one and is already trying to be very independent. She brushes her teeth by herself, wants to sit by herself when we go somewhere, and even wants to brush her own hair so i would say it starts very very early.
2006-08-14 06:32:06 · answer #6 · answered by baby_b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah itis normal. By 12 and 13 you guys will turn into dorks, and she won want to be arond you. She is growing up.
2006-08-14 04:38:49 · answer #7 · answered by i love my sexy hubby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is normal. Follow her leads. If she wants time to herself, allow it.
2006-08-14 04:34:25 · answer #8 · answered by a_delphic_oracle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she stays in her room because both of you are no fun anymore!
try here
http://www.howtobehave.com/
http://cyberparent.com/
2006-08-14 05:02:44 · answer #9 · answered by jimrich 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋