My sister Alicia is getting married. She is 21 and can't afford a huge wedding. Keith, her husband to be can't either. I am her 32 year old sister and I have a ton of money and would pay for a big wedding which she wants. My mother and father have both passed away in the last 2 years, and she lives next to me. Do people exspect me to pay since I'm the oldest sibbling? She's the kind of person who wouldn't ask, but i'm sure she's thought of it. Should I offer? Or would that be bad like saying she's poor even thought she's not.
2006-08-14 03:48:20 · 22 answers · asked by ♥ Ava ♥ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
if you can afford it and want to do it then it would be a lovely gesture, im sure she isnt expecting you to offer to pay for it.
dont do it if you really dont want too, maybe you could offer to share the costs or help in some way.
i think you offering though would be nice and im sure she would appreciate it. good luck.
2006-08-14 03:53:31 · answer #1 · answered by vanessaoz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very kind of you to even consider paying. If you have the money and would like to help then why not? It would be a wonderful thing if you could help your sister have a dream wedding. I don't think in any way it should be expected of you because your parents have passed away. It would be a kind gesture and if your sister is mature enough she will be thankful and not think it's insult. If you want to do it for your sister then do it but you are not obligated to do anything. Good Luck!
2006-08-14 10:56:54 · answer #2 · answered by kristina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's your blood... I see nothing wrong with offering to "share the wealth". As Don Henley sings, "They don't make hurses with luggage racks."
If she would never ask you, I doubt you are concerned with being 'used'. She doesn't have parents anymore (21 is still young to be an orphan, IMHO), and you are her family. Only you know if she would be offended... it's all in how it is offered.
If you have money to spare, after the wedding why not see what you can do to help her start up her own small business to grow and be self-sufficient (as a gift or business partnership she can buy out). Something like teaching her to fish, instead of handing her the fish. What better investment....
.
2006-08-14 11:16:46 · answer #3 · answered by mama_bears_den 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, no one should expect you to pay for your sisters wedding. If this is something that you would like to do, you could sit down with both of them and say that you have given this a lot of thought and that you would like to pay for their wedding as their wedding gift. You could tell them that you want them to save their money for their life together. This will give them the option and not make it appear that you are forcing it on them or that you think they are poor.
Let me just say that you are a wonderful sister that you would do this for her to make her big day so special.
2006-08-14 11:00:03 · answer #4 · answered by Joy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just offer to help out! If I could: I would pay for all of my sisters expenses. She is 9 years older than me, but I know she has alot of bills. She has 3 kids, works 2 jobs, her husband works full time plus LOTS of overtime and they barely scrape by. Im helping her buy her son his first car, but If I had the money I would Def do more. Just tell her that you will help her with anything that she needs or wants. Im sure she will be extremely thankful. Good luck .
2006-08-14 10:55:43 · answer #5 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you offer her a wedding present of some money and then let her use the money to pay for her wedding if she wants too either way she has the choice and it will provide a nice dowry and a great start for them .
2006-08-14 10:56:28 · answer #6 · answered by Peanuts 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to give her a wedding as a gift you should. But the wedding is not the important part of a marriage. It doesn't matter how big or expensive or elaborate the wedding is. What IS important is the marriage and what two people do in their marriage that counts- not the ceremony.
2006-08-14 10:53:32 · answer #7 · answered by cranky_gut 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give carte blanche. Set an amount that you are willing to spend. Then sit them down together and make the offer. Tell them you are not trying to insult them, but that you are making this offer out of the goodness of your heart (which I think is VERY kind & generous) & because she is your sister. They are free to use only that amount or they can refuse it, doing the wedding on their own. Tell them you won't be offended either way.
And don't be bullied into coughing up more money should they go over budget.
2006-08-14 10:58:00 · answer #8 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Seems to me that a young couple starting out like your sister and her husband-to-be could find more responsible ways of using that money than on a large wedding... and they might just prefer it...
Perhaps you could consider offering them a gift of money, but encouraging them to use it to help establish themselves rather than using it to finance one day's celebration.
Some of the most memorable weddings and milestone celebrations I have attended (including my own) were small, simple, and intimate; with family and friends helping in the preparation. If they wish to have friends and family join in, there are certainly creative ways to include them.
2006-08-14 11:21:17 · answer #9 · answered by just a thought 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People should not expect you to pay for the wedding. If you desire to and can afford it, however, offer to help her pay for it. Tell her that since your mom and dad have passed away, you would like to do this for her in their place. She could consider this as your wedding gift to her. Explaining it in this manner should not hurt her pride.
2006-08-14 11:01:06 · answer #10 · answered by Jena W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋