I love my girlfriend a whole lot but recently she decided to not go to work and dissappeared for a day and a half ( not the first time either )... Thus I didn't know where she was and she got fired! She can't keep a job, we just moved into a nice Condo and only has payed the deposit..... She is draining me, not only my money but mentally as well, I'm beginning to hate her... I need to kick her out, my feelings keep getting in the way though, it's like I don't have the guts because I love her.. but she needs to go what should I do?
2006-08-14 03:26:29 · 19 answers · asked by osyrusct 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
love my girlfriend a whole lot but recently she decided to not go to work and dissappeared for a day and a half ( not the first time either )... Thus I didn't know where she was and she got fired! She can't keep a job, we just moved into a nice Condo and only has payed the deposit..... She is draining me, not only my money but mentally as well, I'm beginning to hate her... I need to kick her out, my feelings keep getting in the way though, it's like I don't have the guts because I love her.. but she needs to go what should I do? We are both on the lease!
2006-08-14 04:02:05 · update #1
Yes, she needs to go...you can talk to her and say that you feel you've drifted apart...just tell her the truth..hopefully she will leave of her own accord...if not, then change the locks and don't answer when she knocks..lol but seriously, I hope you don't have a psycho on your hands...some women are clingy and won't leave thinking you'll change your mind..stick to your decision before you go broke with this one.
2006-08-14 03:31:31 · answer #1 · answered by shynomore 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if I was you, I'd find a really cheap apartment, rent it for her (first and last) then take a day off and move all her stuff into it and change the lock on yours.
When she comes home, tell her it's over, give her the key and addy to her new home and say have a good life. If you don't like it you have two months to find a new place.
It won't be any more of a shock than telling her you want out. It's best to make it a clean cut.
You can't be more of a gentleman that that. (And it's a cheap investment considering how much more she would cost you if you did it later and she sued you for common law alimony!)
If you can't afford the apartment rent her a motel room or something for a week. Change your phone number after that too! LOL
Good luck.
2006-08-14 10:34:49 · answer #2 · answered by EVE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's on the lease, there is nothing you can do but wait until the end. (or break the lease.)
If not, here's what you do. Stay in a hotel for a night. The next day, call the police and say that your gf is staying in your apartment and you want her to move out. Tell them you stayed in a hotel the night before because you were afraid she would lie to them and say you abused her. They'll show up and physically remove her.
Be sure you remove all your valubles from the apartment before you do this. Stash that stuff with a friend or your parents until she can no longer steal or destroy it.
Either way, thats a tough battle. Good luck brother.
2006-08-14 10:32:38 · answer #3 · answered by Joe 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is the condo in both of your names? Or is her name on the lease? Can you afford the condo yourself? I'd kick her out of the condo, change the locks if you can afford to stay put. If not or she will fight you get your name off the contract and move out. It sounds like she doesn't love you and is just using you. She is already draining you of money and peace of mind. This is not a realtionship you need to cut your losses as soon as possible. I wish you luck!
2006-08-14 10:34:26 · answer #4 · answered by Mark S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what a terrible situation. Matters of the heart are never easy. But from what you wrote, this girl is unhealthy for you. Just tell her, you love her, but you love you more and this relationship is bad for my health. Its time you leave. (period) Put her *** out.
Its a shame that some people choose to abuse those who love them the most, but enough is enough, when you are sick and tired of just being sick and tired, you'll put her *** out. As far as her staying out all night, her dissappearing act, you should have changed the locks on the door and put her stuff on the opposite side.
Just be up front with her, if that doesn't work, change the locks put her things on the steps and leave her a voice mail.
Be good to you...........don't think about her and her feelings.
Good luck.
2006-08-14 10:34:21 · answer #5 · answered by Monie D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You love her. You hate her. Sounds like you should be married! :-) Sorry!
Just change the locks on the condo. Throw her s**t out in the hallway. Go file for a restraining order, and take back your b**ls.
She is cheating or into something she obviously doesn't what you to know about, and she is not being honest with you. Have more respect for yourself than that!
2006-08-14 10:36:17 · answer #6 · answered by i_cycle_hard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let her know that you love her but the agreement you 2 had is not working out well and that you are not a free ride. It takes 2 to make a relationship work and it's obvious that she is not as committed as you are and you think it would be better if she packs her things and move out if she in not willing to be loyal. If that does not work then pack her things and sit them at the door and give her a time and day to pick them up. Good Luck!
2006-08-14 10:35:15 · answer #7 · answered by Board 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be up front with her. I am a woman, and I dont want ANY man having pity on me, I rather have honesty. Tell her nicely, but assert urself, that u think its best that u guys have ur OWN space, ur just not ready for a live in girlfriend right now, especially one who seems to need her own space as well. If she cant respect that then somethings wrong with her, its not like ur dumping her.
2006-08-14 10:34:41 · answer #8 · answered by funkygurll 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this situation you need to bit the bullet before it bits you.... Explain to her that she needs to get a job and keep it if she wants to continue the life that you have. No more being irresponsible and running out for days at a time. If she loves you she will change if she doesn't then you know that she does not respect you and it will be easier to tell her packup and get out.
2006-08-14 10:32:29 · answer #9 · answered by Hotbox25 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u need to have a sit down w/her and find out what's going on.. let her know that ur relationship is a partnership and that she's draining everything out of it.. let her know that u can't do this alone and that she's being irresponsble.. let her know that this condo is now both ur responsibilities.. if she's not gonna shape up tell her it's over and that she has to find somewhere else to stay...
u can't live ur live based on ur gf.. if she's making u misreable then u need to leave her and move on..
2006-08-14 10:32:26 · answer #10 · answered by Queen D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋