My current g/f and I have been together for 13 yrs.i have supported her for 8 of those years,meaning i have paid all the bills.i pay for her car,food,utilities,insurance,h... activities,internet service.
She works, but it is only part time. and the money she makes goes towards her cigarettes and coffee and milk.she makes about 100 bucks a week
we have a 3 yr old daughter together.i have to work all day,come home and clean the house,cook dinner,bath and put my daughter to sleep.
My g/f has now come up with the notion that i should just give her money when ever she needs it. she said this is how couples with kids do things.
should i just let her sit on her butt all day watching t.v.doesn't lift a finger to clean,yells at me and our daughter and dog all the time.works part time to support her habits, shoul di just give her money now also?
P.S. i ask her to leave several times, but she won't go,besides the fact she has no where to go.
Any help
2006-08-14 03:14:23 · 10 answers · asked by sprite101 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You say you guys have been together for 13 years. So there really hasn't been any surprises, unless this is new behavior in the last few years.
I was a stay at home mom. I believed since the man was out working to support us. At the very least I could do the cooking, cleaning, take care of the children and make sure there was a meal waiting when he got home. I felt I wasn't doing the typical housewife role. It was my way of contributing to the house hold.
Funny thing, three weeks after my Husband lost his job. I was in doing house work. He was having coffee, watching TV and all day sat on his bottom. It dawned on me and we had a talk. I explained when he was working I felt I needed to do my share. And when I returned to work I felt the housework should be split. He agreed. I said ok. Now we are both not working and I am still doing everything. We had an understanding after that.
Raising children, trying to keep yourself and the house clean is a tough sometimes thankless job. A lot of times very frustrating and take it out on the ones we love most. Not making any excuses for her behavior. If she says you should hand over money because that is what couples do. You have an opening to explain to her what you also believe couples should do. Good luck.
I stayed in unhealthy unhappy relationships bfore. Out of pity or them not having any place to go. You need to think about yourself and your child. Sounds as though she may be depressed.
2006-08-14 03:30:40 · answer #1 · answered by Balou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
where the mother goes is not ur concern.. u just need to keep providing for ur daughter.. its a tough situation.. do u have custody of ur child? do u want custody of ur child? these r things u need to be thinking about because even though she doesn't sound like the best mom in the world she probably will want to take ur kid w/her if u kick her out.. maybe she should go live w/a friend or relative (the mother that is)...
stop paying for her car, her ins, her internet, her activies and anything else that doesn't concern ur daughter..
u need to have a sit down w/the mother and let her know as long as u provide for ur daughter u not putting no $$ in her hand.. she probably won't spend on the baby or necessities anyway.. let her know that she needs to find a place to stay and that this is not working.. let her know she needs to find a f/t job and stop being lazy...
2006-08-14 03:22:54 · answer #2 · answered by Queen D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh man that's a really bad situation. You need to get away from this girl and it's going to be hard. I would recommend waiting until your lease is up if you're renting and simply do not renew. Just move somewhere else and tell her she's not comming with you. If you have a house you're going to have to evict her. Talk to a lawyer.
Also the fact that you have a kid is going to complicate things even more. You will probably have a custody battle coming. If you lose, be ready to pay child support. Ironically, she will probably end up getting your money one way or another in the end.
2006-08-14 03:20:02 · answer #3 · answered by Joe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have made her life too comfortable and she is not leaving the life that she has now to make more work for herself. She is not right, she needs to get off her lazy *** and get motivated. You are going to have to start handing her some of the bills and let her know that the free ride is over. The moods needs to stop too. She can not treat you or your daughter that way. Start treating her like a child and give chores and a bill list that she needs to follow. Or you are serious about getting her out.
2006-08-14 03:26:28 · answer #4 · answered by Hotbox25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know what got into you! You need to really get serious with this woman! You need to think this over a minute. If she really loves you and her life she would do things for you and your house. That is worse than cheating on you! If I were you I would ask her if she really loves you and wants to spend the rest of her life with you and your family then she needs to get a better job and help around the house and with your daughter or you have to put her aside from you life and move on. I would advise you to get rid of her!!
2006-08-14 03:30:26 · answer #5 · answered by nikki h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did u try to talk to her?
i am sure a wise discussion will do both of you good.
being a gal myself, i would never allow my man to do all the chores. You are the man of the house after all ( y didnt i meet you b4 :>)
i dont know why you are still tolerating her?
is it because you love her?
becuase you have a daughter?
u pity her?
if you still love her, this feeling is enough for you to get the courage to get her back on the rite track.
it is unfortunate for me to say this but women in this country are not maternal at all.
how an someone neglects her own daughter.
the situation she is in, i am sure, she wont leave.
and if you want to change her for the better, never give her money. never.
since you are at it, just check if she is not having drugs probs.
cheers, dear. big kiss for that darling daughter of yours
2006-08-14 03:26:40 · answer #6 · answered by trishnah * 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is so wrong, what she is doing to you. Cut her off. Dont give her any money. When she yells at you just leave. Go out and take the kid with you so she doesnt take it out the him/her. Or worse case scenario maybe you should start packing ( I know it sounds unfair), shut the utilities off in your name and go stay with family or friends or get a new place. When she is left alone with no electricity,water,etc. and no one ther to take care of her maybe then she will be forced to take care of herself. If she has no where to go she might realize what an *** she has been and that it is wrong to take advantage of people and take them for granted.
2006-08-14 03:33:01 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah its called grow some balls and tell her to shape up or get the Hell out. Or if push comes to shove quit paying the bills and for the backbone of all men out there don't give her any money. Vacation is nice when you work for it.
2006-08-14 03:22:09 · answer #8 · answered by omvg1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not many people are able to spend money without regard. Most people have a budget that they live within. You can discuss this budget and agree upon an amount that you can afford that gives her some freedom.
2006-08-14 03:22:33 · answer #9 · answered by Jeffrey S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
goshh,thıs women ıs crazyyy.you are in big trouble my friend.she has to be know her dutıes and behave as soon as possible or you have to break up,there is no way she ıs obvıously usıng you you you can not let her to do that.you are the man come onnnnn.W.A.K.E U.P!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOOD LUCK
2006-08-14 03:25:06 · answer #10 · answered by feel_the_fire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋