I dated a guy for about 4 years during which we had about 2 major few weeks breaks. About 5 months ago, i told him i wanted a break because i thought he was not "the one". He actually begged me not to do that cos he really loves me but i just thought i needed the break to be sure before we get into marriage. 4 months down the line now, i have realised that i really love him and miss him. I want him back. We live in different countries now and i travelled over to visit him for about a week. Things were great but he said we can work on it. I returned back home and he kept calling me until about a month ago, he stopped calling me and said he doesn't think he wants me back. I really love him and miss him and i really want us to get back together. I am ready to quit my job and relocate. What can i do?
2006-08-14 03:00:00 · 17 answers · asked by Sahem 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No way do you relocate for someone who saids they arent interested.
If he felt the same about you he wouldnt try to make it work...
You should have to uproot all off your things to go run behind him.
Absolutely do not do that!!!
2006-08-14 03:04:39 · answer #1 · answered by PG 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know... he has moved on both physically and emotionally. Was this an issue perpetrated by you? Sure, but you obviously had some concerns that you didn't articulate here. Due to loneliness or a sense of loss or a desire to return to a known state... you want him back, but you really need to step back and objectively look at the relationship. What were the good things? What were the bad?
It would definitely be a mistake to relocate for this guy alone. If there are other factors, e.g., family, job opportunity, etc... then perhaps it would be understandable.
You just need to get back in the game. Go have some fun. Live for yourself. Let the rest take care of itself.
Good luck!
2006-08-14 10:17:53 · answer #2 · answered by i_cycle_hard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont mean to sound harsh...but it seems as if u have brought this upon urself really!
U cant be with someone then suddenly decide to tell them they might not be the one for u, then when u realise they might be, think they will happily pick up the pieces and carry on like before.
As nice as it would b 2 do this, it just doesnt work that way.
Dont they say that u dont know what u've got till u lose it?!
If you really want this guy back, i suggest you work xtra hard at trying to convince him that it was a huge mistake, and that u love him and want to b with him 4 eva?!
Good luck, i hope u both sort things out and get back together, its clear just how much u love him....now prove it to him.xx
2006-08-14 10:10:24 · answer #3 · answered by splight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do NOT, do NOT, do NOT relocate.
If he says he is uninterested, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment when you get out to wherever he is. It sounds like the time you had apart made him realize that he does not want the relationship. I know that hurts, but it will hurt less after you accept it. If he was saying that he doesn't want you back after only a month, that might be different...but 5 months is plenty of time.
I would give him his space- if its meant to work out, it will. Maybe there is a reason that you guys kept taking breaks and you felt you had to take a break this time. I know it hurts, and I'm sure you love him a lot, but maybe he's not the one for you.
Please though, do not uproot your life for someone who says they don't want you. Give him space, if he realizes you're the one for him, he will do whatever it takes to get you back.
2006-08-14 10:11:30 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs.H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if I were him I wouldn't get back with you, but guys usually don't think with their brain anyways, so you probably have a chance. Move back, and see if he will date you. If you jump in the sack with him I am sure he will (that is just the way men are) Hopefully he won't just be playing your for some quick thrills. Personally I think you need to come up with some real good reasons for needing a break.
2006-08-14 10:10:00 · answer #5 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's tough...especially now that the tables have turned...I wouldn't do anything drastic like quit my job and relocate...you need to find out for sure why he's not interested in getting you back...he may have moved on to someone else...you quitting your job and moving closer to him and finding that out is only going to add to your problems...even though its kinda hard to get a true understanding over the phone...that's really all you have to work with, unless you visit him again...poor your heart out to him and let him know how you feel and what you want with him...be prepared for the worse...you never know...if you don't get the same response of the response you're looking for...cut him loose...you want someone who is going to love you the same way...let him find you...even then if you and this guy are meant to be you'll end up together...you just have to believe that go on with life...
2006-08-14 10:10:37 · answer #6 · answered by sweet_latina830 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You doubted at a stage that he was the "one", what makes you think he is now and will ever be?Your common sense obviously told you to take a break. If he really loved you and you were meant to be, he would've taken you back without even thinking. He's not the one for you. Wake up. You're in serious denial.
2006-08-14 10:12:00 · answer #7 · answered by Jade22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldnt have done it in the first place. i have had guys do this to me before. and then they want me back, and i moved on bc they hurt me so bad! and they have no second chance. but second chances never work, either. that's been proven. you dont just dump someone especially when they beg u not too, bc they love you so much. i have done that w guys, tell em not to do it, and i love em very much. but they still break up w me. want to have nothing to do with me, and then i get over them HARD time to do tho, and they come back? how is that fair? its not. so you shouldnt have done it in the first place. you were with him for a long time. maybe u two just werent meant to be.?
2006-08-14 10:07:03 · answer #8 · answered by kkaze 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl I say go for it, if you really love him that is! (Secondly, I hope you don't just feel like you love him because he has dismissed you and now you feel lost!) With that said profess it all to him go all the way, good luck! Girl, love like that doesn't happen anymore!
2006-08-14 10:19:09 · answer #9 · answered by souljagirpart2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
before you move make sure he wants u! don't chase after him. men like to do the chasing. it turns them off if a woman tries too hard to be with them. give it time and he will come around. he is probably with someone else right now and will come back to u once his fling is over.
2006-08-14 10:05:06 · answer #10 · answered by cutie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋