We have been dating for about three months and I have yet to meet his daughter. He has met my two and they love him. He knows I feel very serious about him and would never intro just any schmo to my kids, but he struggles to tell his daughter, he says he doesn't want to upset her, should I be upset or more patient with his decision? He told me I am the first girl he has even thought about telling his daughter about and that our relationship means alot to him and feels good about us. Need some good advice!!
2006-08-14 02:49:25 · 13 answers · asked by mariajd3 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you are the first girl he has thought about introducing to his daughter, I would feel good about that. Perhaps this is his first relationship after his relationship with his daughters mom? If so, that could be a lot to adjust to for his daughter. I am sure you are a great person, or he wouldn't be with you. I would just talk to him and see what his reservations are really. Is he worried things won't work out and he will have introduced someone that might be out of his life soon? Is he worried his daughter is going to talk to his ex about you? What is he really concerned about? I think the fact that you have trusted him enough to meet your kids is a big sign to him, perhaps that has frightened him a little and he is just scared at the prospect of being that serious with someone again. I would give him a little time and just let him know that you care about him and are willing to be patient till he is ready. Just remember, he can't use the excuse of not wanting to upset his daughter forever. Good luck!
2006-08-14 02:58:07 · answer #1 · answered by Nik 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same situation as your boyfriend, and since I was divorced, I have yet to intro my daughter to any woman I have dated, because I don't want her to get the impression that I am always bringing a different woman over to the house. He probably feels the same way and is trying to protect his daughter. I know mine is not at all cool with me dating or finding another woman at all, as she is afraid that woman will replace her as my pride and joy, and at 7, no matter how I can try to explain this otherwise it won't do any good. Give him some time, 3 months isn't really a long time when you consider the possibility of a long term relationship
Good luck!
2006-08-14 03:00:35 · answer #2 · answered by gimli_1977 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may sound tough but you need to give him time. This is his decision and with the way the relationship is going I am sure you will eventually meet her. Obviously this is a step in the relationship so why do you want to push it? His daughter maybe is close to her mother and he doesn't want to upset her; or is giving her time to adjust. Be happy that you found someone you are "serious" about and who your boys "love".
2006-08-14 03:02:00 · answer #3 · answered by Mark S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have patience, he will eventually tell her and you will meet her and hopefully, God first, you'll can carry out a wonderful relationship with both kids together in a happy home environment! At least he informs you that he wants you to meet his child and thank God he is a carring and good father. Let me tell you, my ex has a three year old that he has never met and never told me about until a few months agpo and thats why we broke up. At least everything is out in the open between you two and thats great, good luck!!!
2006-08-14 03:01:30 · answer #4 · answered by lasugarfree 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would really take a step back and look at this relationship again if I were you. IF he truly was devoted to this relationship he would not hesitate to introduce you to his own child. I think if you really did some investigating on your own you'd find that its probably not the daughter he doesn't want to upset...but her mother he doesn't want to upset. That doesn't mean that he's having a sexual relationship with her mother still...but don't rule that out....she could be one of those "I don't want you but no one else can have you types"...and in order to avoid a big fight and not to get to see his daughter....he lies to you.....at any rate you owe it to yourself and your kids to investigate it further...
2006-08-14 03:06:51 · answer #5 · answered by celwolf1953 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't pressure him about it, afterall, it's only been 3 months.
It sounds like he is a good father and wants to protect his daughter from possible heartache if the two of you ended up breaking up and she really liked you.
If I was you, I'd also limit the amount of time your children are with him. It's really hard for children when people you are dating are taken in and out of their lives. I think it's better for them to be less attached, that way if something did happen and you never saw this guy again, they wouldn't be so hurt.
2006-08-14 02:57:16 · answer #6 · answered by anabele6 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't push the issue. I can understand your concern, however, wouldn't you hate to introduce your children to a man only to have them become extremely attatched to him and he walks out on you? Relationships that involve kids are never easy. A person with kids comes as a package deal....maybe he just wants to make sure that you are the right one. Give him time...I'm sure he'll come around eventually.
2006-08-14 02:55:11 · answer #7 · answered by WonderTwit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 months isn't all that long give him some time, if you're the first she's to meet he doesn't know her reaction.
how old is the girl?
Talk to him about setting up something casual with all the kids, take them to an amusement park, make it a day about the kids not about meeting you.
2006-08-14 02:53:35 · answer #8 · answered by attila 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with your boyfriend. He is very wise in not introducing his children to a woman until he is very sure that she will be more steady in their lives. He is doing absolutely the right thing to protect his daughter. You, on the other hand, did not do the right thing. Children don't need to be introduced to "uncles" over and over and over.
2006-08-14 03:00:05 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is living with you then give him time, but if he is not it means he is still with the mother of his daughter
2006-08-14 02:54:34 · answer #10 · answered by scarlet pimpernell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋