what do you when your 3 child refuses to be potty trained?

Question

My little girl is the and will not go to the bathroom. We have tried to reward her punsish her but nothing works. She was trying but then for some reason quit doing it.

Answer 1

Don't put too much emphasis on it. Let her wear panties and shorts/pants and put the potty in an easy to reach location. I let my daughter run around naked when potty-training, but when she had an accident she didn't really care (and she liked helping me clean it up). But when she pees in her pants, THEN she cares. Don't talk about it, but when she does pee in the potty congratulate her.

Answer 2

I would let the Dr. take a urine sample. When my daughter started having bathroom issues, I found that she had a urinary tract infection. She had never complained.

If everything checks out, let her have some choices. Sounds like she likes her control. Take her shopping and let her pick out her panties. Let her choose the toddler seat you put on the toilet. When my daughter would try to put her foot down about not using the potty, I would ask her which potty in the house she wanted to use. Taking away the power struggle can get you what you want.

Maybe your daughter stopped trying because she was "bad" at using the potty. Kids don't do what they are bad at. They do what they are good at. Keep up the positive reinforcement, and try to stop punishing. (even though it is really frustrating) Keep focused on the goal.

A good goal for being out of diapers may be a dance class of some sort. Most ballet classes will take 3 year olds for lessons- and most will let you try a class or two for free (if you're not in for the commitment.) As soon as she wears big girl panties without getting them messy, she can be a ballerina. Go buy the leotard and get her motivated! Have fun!

Answer 3

Reward and punish? She sees this as something you want very much. If you make a big deal out of it she may just stop. My daughter did the same thing so I just backed off and started looking at her other great acheivements. Also I made sure I did not immediately change her diaper. If she goes poop wait a few minutes before changing it. Not long enough to give her diaper rash but just long enough so she knows it's yucky. Then take the the diaper and your daughter to the restroom and together empty the diaper contents into the toilet. Let her flush it and maybe cheer together as it disappears. She will potty train when she is comfortable to. My daughter was not completely potty trained until age 4. You can also try letting her watch cartoon potty training videos. Bear in the Big Blue House has a great potty time video for toddlers. One more suggestion. Get her potty chair by the toilet and when you go to the restroom let her go as well.

Answer 4

Quit trying. You're setting yourself up for failure already because you tried punishing her for something she doesn't understand. Instead, you have to get the message across to her in a way she can understand.

There is a video called "Once Upon a Potty". There's a version for girls and another for boys. It also comes with a book that you can read to her at bedtime. Put the video in the VCR and leave the room. Let her watch it over and over and over and over again with her potty chair in the room with her. Inside of a week, she'll be excited to use the potty and you won't have to push her. Just leave her potty chair in front of the TV, let her take her diaper off and run around the house without it. She'll use her potty chair all by herself quick enough because she won't want to mess on her legs.

I've done this for all 5 of my kids and 12 foster kids. It works every last time.

***Warning, do not stay in the room with her to watch the Potty video. The "Potty song" will drive you positively batty...it's written for a 3 y/o and never leaves your head!

Answer 5

If she is three years old its your fault. You should have been training her from the time she could walk inassisted. If you didn't have the time to do it when she was younger than you should have asked a reliable person to help you out. My daughter was potty trained by the time she was 14 months.
However, you could try what I did; when you have to go bring her in the room with you and have her sit on her potty the sound of the flowing "water" may trigger her to releive herself. Make the atmosphere as comfortable as possible. Talk to her ask her if she had a fun day or even show here a picture book read her a short story while in there. I know this may sound funny but it works. Praise her when she does whatever she needed to do on the potty. Never punish her for not using the potty or even having an accident. She will learn that it is not fun to have soiled panties. Let her know that it is not good or healthy to do that. Talk to her calmly. If you still have her in diapers get pull ups or even the cloth panties that have the extra material in case of emergency accidents. Always have a container of wipes on hand for her if she needs it to clean it.

Answer 6

By the age of three she can learn by example. Let her see other adults and children going to the potty. Buy pull up type diapers so she can take her own diapers on or off. Don't punish her. She will get it when she gets it. Going to preschool can be a huge help, even for a few hours each week.

Answer 7

i used to work at a daycare with a class of 9 two year olds, and it was our job to try to help potty train them. i found that two year olds love to wash their hands and play in the water for a couple of minutes, so if they did not go to the bathroom during potty time, they were not allowed to play in the water. maybe this will help!! good luck, and just remember, some kids take longer than others, but it will happen someday! try using phrases like "all of your friend's mommies told me that they were using the potty, dont you want to use the potty too?" peer pressure works with any age!! (still works for us too, amazing!)

Answer 8

I say give a couple of weeks off. No pressure use pull ups. Pretend it is normal for her to wear them. After two weeks, If she hasnt started asking for the potty you may start talking to her about it only when you are changing her,only then.
Do you like using the 'big girl potty?
___________ likes using the 'big girl potty'. (someone she looks up to .....friend.
etc. The idea is to get her thinking about it and talking about it.
Dont worry about it, you havent done anything wrong.
Some kids are easier to train then others.
It's just annoying when some mothers who only have 1 or 2 kids and they are both easy to train, think it is due to their superior mothering skills.
Take a deep breath.
Just remember to relax and be confident about your mothering it is not your fault! Your daughter will eventually be potty trained.

Answer 9

Make you daughter wear underware. When she goes to the restroom in her pants, stick her in the shower everytime. She will get so sick of getting in the shower your taking up to much of her time. All you have to say is "if you would go in the toilet you wouldn't have to take a shower everytime you go to the bathroom. " I know you may get sick of the shower every few hours. But just imagine having to get in there that much. She will soon change her mind about not using the toilet.

Do not let her wear diapers or pull ups. They are only allowing her to go in her pants.

She needs to see that she is a big girl even if she does not want to be.
Good Luck. Trust me it won't take long if you completly get rid of those diapers/pull-ups.

Answer 10

you must take two days off form work and housework,first thing get her up and have her watch you go potty then take off her diper and place her on the pot no pressure do some thing like claen the sink dont look her down .say potty after a few min.take her off and put pantys on her .every half hour take her to the potty you sit she sits as you wont go everytime she wont go every time after you dont go say no potty and smile get up and have her sit do something ,do not leave the room .get her up and do this all day long for the hole day .two hours be fore bed no drinks .halfwhy trrough the night get up wake her with kisses and say momee potty the she potty then back to bed and do it the next day it has worked for every persoin i have told it to .if she wets her self say mome no potty in paints and grab yourself and then take her to the potty and first you go then her .never punish her this is a big deal for her and should be fun and enjoyable thing to do with and for you and hes self ...good luck by they why next time when they can walkthey can go potty in the potty and the well love it it makes them fell grown up .