If the difference in beliefs has become a serious issue, but the marriage is worth the effort, which one needs to compromise his/her beliefs: the believer or the non-believer?
2006-08-14 00:31:54 · 40 answers · asked by XYZ 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
By the way, for all those addressing their responses in the second person, the question is not about me - it's actually about a different question!
For what it's worth, though, my marriage is 50% believer, 50% non-believer, thought that's not a problem for us (maashallah :) )
We're not unevenly yoked, because we're not oxen...
2006-08-14 00:46:28 · update #1
I believe in any relationship the word 'no' must have more meaning than the word 'yes'.
If I truly want something, and my girlfriend doesn't want it, then it won't happen. And vice versa. (Of course you can beat this rule with grammar, but you get the general meaning of it)
The only subject that this rule can never aply to is religion and politics. On religion and politic you simply can't compromize.
For both believers and non-believers 'a little bit of God' is no option. Only trying to respect eachothers feelings is an option. Which doesn't only mean respecting the other persons religious feelings, it also means examining your own feelings.
If my christian girlfriend told me i will end up in Hell, then we would get into serious problems. And when I think about it, the 'Hell-issue' can almost be the only problem between a believer and a non-believer. Different views can never be a problem for two respecting individuals.
So the normal compromise is: the believer doesn't wish the non-believer to Hell, the non-believer doesn't wish the believer into a coffin.
2006-08-14 20:41:29 · answer #1 · answered by Thinx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every marriage is worth trying to save. The sexual bond is too close to break without causing a lot of damage. (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:3-6)
That having been said, our primary allegiance has to be with God. Many believe that for this reason, the Bible forbids a believer to knowingly marry an unbeliever, citing 1 Corinthians 7:39 or 2 Corinthians 6:14-7:1. Such people speak of a state of being 'unequally yoked'.
However, if our unbelieving spouse is OK with our being a believer and is willing to keep living with us, then that is what we should do. If, on the other hand, they are not willing to live with us and throw us out or leave, in principle we are free.
So, the bottom line is: no one 'compromises' on their beliefs. If anyone concludes on their own that a different set of beliefs from their present set is right and worthy of adoption, then they should adopt it. But there should be no force in the matter - God has called us to live at peace with one another (1 Corinthians 7:10-16).
2006-08-14 00:49:38 · answer #2 · answered by songkaila 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On spiritual path, the pathless path, every one is alone and has to be so, since the very nature of quest is such. Whereas, marriage is more of a material aspect of life, unless the religion itself prescribes it to be a 'tool' for spiritual progress!
So, no need even for a compromise ! If the spouses are otherwise intelligent enough, the marriage can turn out to be a very successful one, with this being the only difference !
In fact a healthy , pro-active togetherness can sustain , and the result, very fruitful, because, the believer's blind belief is in check due to the other one, and the non-believer's openness will keep his search for truth alive !
2006-08-14 01:03:20 · answer #3 · answered by Spiritualseeker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both parties need to be considerate of the other's feelings. If your marriage was entered into because you both felt in love with each other then religion and beliefs take a second place to your marriage.
Remember in the beginning there was love for you to unite not religion. A clear concience and a good heart and soul is sometimes better than the person worshipping God but still doing wrong things.
Talk it out with your spouse and get their feelings and thoughts on religion versus your marriage. I'm confident if true love wins out a compromise can be met.
Good luck. :)
2006-08-14 00:39:52 · answer #4 · answered by CATHOLIC PRIEST!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps a compromise needs to be made, but how to judge which one needs to compromise. This is my advice although I am unmarried and probably completely clueless:
Whoever is making the difference in beliefs a serious issue needs to relax a bit. This sort of person might have a tough time though since they might not realize how much they are annoying everyone else too.
So it's a false choice to select from believer or non-believer because either one might be the obnoxious one (yes, both atheists and agnostics are also capable of being obnoxious proselytizers).
2006-08-14 05:41:14 · answer #5 · answered by Cheshire Cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that both people in a marriage need to work to a compromise. Maybe that compromise is that they decide not to discuss religion.
The person who is the believer should pray that the non-believer would do God's will and then let God take care of it. You can't make someone change their beliefs. You can show them a good example but they have to make the decision on their own.
2006-08-14 00:55:55 · answer #6 · answered by Momof2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The believer needs to not compromise their beliefs! You need to continue to pray and believe that God will bring you partner to the Lord. Marriage is a yoke that is worn by both people, and people that are yoked cannot go in different directions without taking the yoke off (divorce). A marriage is therefore either heading towards God or it is not. If it is not, then you need to do everything possible including daily prayer to make that happen :)
2006-08-14 00:38:48 · answer #7 · answered by Just John 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We're talking about 2 people who have extremely different opinions on an extremely important topic. I wonder how 2 people like this could really connect. Hey - opposites attract, but we're talking about severe extremes. If they insist on staying together, I would hope that the non-believer could change the believer's mind and inject a bit of reality into his / her thought process.
2006-08-14 00:37:53 · answer #8 · answered by Marc B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a believer you shouldn't compromise. I don't know what happened, but the Bible says that the believer can live such a way that the non-believer may come to Christ. Marriage is worth saving.
If you "preach" back off of that, but maybe you can still go to church. You can pray and study the Bible in your own quiet time.
2006-08-14 00:38:52 · answer #9 · answered by RB 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both need to compromise. A marriage is a covenant between two people, not a one-sided contract based on religion.
2006-08-14 00:41:34 · answer #10 · answered by gg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋