what is a good joke to send to a soldier who is at the lebanese border to raise his morale and make him laugh?

Question

(he is an israeli soldier)

(he is an israeli soldier)

Answer 1

Send him your support and love. It will make him smile.

Answer 2

Israelis , Lebanese or Hezbollah soldier

Answer 3

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange, but I ignored it. However, when the busboy brought out water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket, then looked around the room and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"

"Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Anderson Consulting, experts in efficiency, in order to revamp all our processes. After several months of statistical analysis, they concluded that customers drop their spoons 73.84 percent more often than any other utensil. This represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel is prepared to deal with that contingency,we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare spoon.

"I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was rather impressed.

The waiter served our main course and I continued to look around. I then noticed that there was a very thin string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. My curiosity got the better of me and before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" he answered, lowering his voice. "Not everyone is as observant as you. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom."

"How so?"

"See," he continued, "by tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out over the urinal without touching it and that way eliminate the need to wash the hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent."

"Okay, that makes sense, but . . . if the string helps you get it out, how do you put it back in?"

"Well," he whispered, lowering his voice even further, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

Answer 4

Recently, my wife told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit.
Then I caught her spending $65.00 on make-up, $150 for a cut / color, $30
for a manicure, $40 for a pedicure, $50 on vitamins, $300 on Clothes and
$600 for a gym membership.
I asked how come I had to give up stuff and she did not.
She said she needed it to look pretty for me.
I told her that was what the beer was for.

I don't think she's coming back.

Answer 5

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A woman walks into a San Francisco curio shop. Looking around at its merchandise, she notices the realistic, life-sized statue of a rat. The unusual artwork has no price tag, but is so striking she decides she must have it.

"How much for the bronze rat?", she asks the owner.

"Twelve dollars, a hundred dollars for the story," he says, and she gives him twelve dollars. "I’ll just take the statue, thank you. You can keep the story."

As the woman walks out of his shop carrying the statue, she notices that a few real rats have crawled out of alleys and sewers, and begun following her down the street. This is a bit disconcerting, so she begins walking a little faster. Within a couple blocks, the group of rats behind her grows to over a hundred, and they are squealing. She starts to trot toward the Bay, takes a nervous look around, and sees that the rats now number in the thousands – maybe millions. They are all squealing and coming toward her faster and faster. Terrified, the woman runs to the shore. There, she throws the bronze rat as far out into the Bay as she can. Amazingly, the millions of rats jump into the water after it, and are all drowned.

"Ah, ha!," the owner exclaims as she walks through the front door of his curio shop again, "I’ll bet you’ve returned for the story?"

"No," says the woman. "I came back to see if you have a bronze Jew."
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Answer 6

He may like this one:

Pecans in the Cemetery.

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence.
One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy.
Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery.
He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me." He just knew what it was.
He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
"Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.
"The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk."
When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me ...
"The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord."
Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything.
The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done."
They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the boy on the bike.

Answer 7

whatn is a good joke to send to a soldier is a laugh

Answer 8

of course. It will cause him to remember the joy of being alive. Maybe it will be the last joke he will hear from you. Make it hilarious. Better if it's a green joke. :)

Answer 9

You'll be home soon, they've called off the fighting and said it was all a big misunderstanding

Answer 10

If I want it, it's mine.
If I can take it away from you, it's mine.
If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
If it's mine it will never belong to anyone else no matter what.
If we are building something together, all the pieces are mine.
If I give it to you and change my mind later, it's mine.
If it looks like mine, it's mine.

Answer 11

http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..