how do you tell a guy or gurl that u have a controllable std?

Question

i would really appreciate it if i could have no rude comments..after all i am only sixteen and it wasnt my fault

Answer 1

Well, I'm assuming herpes(correct me if I'm wrong). Contrary to what sue_h said, you need to tell EVERYONE you have sexual contact with. I out of 5 people have it, and not everyone shows symptoms, and they dont test for it in pap smears. Here are some facts I found:
1. Herpes causes sores that itch and burn and don't go away.

Myth. Symptoms, such as sores, tend to go away after an outbreak of genital herpes. However, you may have additional symptoms and recurring outbreaks from time to time. After several years, you may experience fewer outbreaks or no outbreaks at all. It is possible, though, to have an outbreak without any symptoms.

2. You can have an outbreak of genital herpes and not have any symptoms.

Truth. Many people who have an outbreak of genital herpes do not have any symptoms, or have symptoms that are so mild that they are unnoticeable. That's why out of the 50 million Americans who have genital herpes, 90% don't even realize they are infected with the virus and may unknowingly infect others.

3. You can get genital herpes from toilet seats.

Myth. The genital herpes virus is a fragile virus that dries out when it is exposed to air. There have been no proven cases of genital herpes transmission from a toilet seat.

4. If you have genital herpes, you can never have sex again.

Myth. While you should always use a condom for extra protection, you can still have sex if you have genital herpes. But it is important to avoid sexual contact if you have any sores (oral or genital) or symptoms. Also, even if sores are not present, you could still be contagious because of asymptomatic viral shedding (you don't have any signs or symptoms but the virus is present on the skin). Even when you are asymptomatic, you should use a condom for extra protection. (Please see your doctor for alternative barrier methods if you're allergic to latex). Even though condoms have been shown to reduce transmission, they are not always effective.


5. You can spread genital herpes to other parts of your body.

Truth. If you touch a genital herpes sore and then touch another part of your body, you can potentially spread the virus. Avoid contact with sores, and if you touch a sore, wash your hands with soap immediately.

6. Stress can trigger an outbreak of herpes.

Truth. Physical and emotional stress can trigger an outbreak of genital herpes in some people.

7. People who have genital herpes may be more susceptible to HIV.

Truth. People who have genital herpes may be more likely to acquire HIV than those who don't have the virus. If you are exposed to HIV during sexual contact and have genital sores, HIV can find easy entry into the body. During an outbreak of genital herpes, CD4 cells, which fight against the herpes infection, are found at the base of the lesion. These cells are the main cells attacked by HIV.

8. Genital herpes can make you sterile.

Myth. Genital herpes cannot make you sterile. However, other sexually transmitted diseases such as chlamydia can make you sterile, and your doctor should test for these infections when you are diagnosed with herpes.

9. Cold sores are just a lip infection and are not associated with genital herpes.

Myth. Cold sores are generally caused by herpes simplex virus type 1. This virus can also cause an initial outbreak of genital herpes if you have oral sex with someone who has a cold sore.

10. You can't have children if you have genital herpes because you will pass it on to your child.

Myth. A newborn baby can be infected with the herpes virus if the mother's infection is active at the time of birth.You can be contagious, even if you don't have sores or lesions. But if genital herpes sores are present during labor, a cesarean section can be performed to reduce contact between the infection and the baby. Talk to your doctor if you have genital herpes and are pregnant or planning to become pregnant.

11. People with genital herpes are more susceptible to other infections.

Myth. Most people who have herpes are not more susceptible to other infections. Rarely, some people with herpes develop cellulitis. Cellulitis is an uncommon bacterial infection, may be developped to bacteria entering the genital herpes sores. Cellulitis causes a deep red rash and is often associated with tenderness and fever. This infection can be treated with antibiotics.


12. PAP smears can detect whether you have genital herpes.

Myth. PAP smears are not designed to detect herpes simplex virus infections. Type-specific serology tests and viral cultures are used to diagnose genital herpes and are not normally conducted during a woman's annual gynecological examination. If you are concerned that you may have genital herpes, discuss testing for genital herpes with your healthcare provider.

13. You can't get genital herpes from oral sex.

Myth. Most type 1 genital herpes is caused by unprotected oral sex. The type 1 herpes virus can be spread through oral sexwhat was a cold sore on your partner may develop as genital herpes on you. It is important to use barrier protection such as latex condoms during oral sex. (Please see your doctor for alternative barrier methods if you're allergic to latex.)

14. If you have been with your partner for several years and just found out that you have genital herpes, your partner must be cheating on you.

Myth. The fact that your partner has been diagnosed with genital herpes does not necessarily mean he or she has been unfaithful to you. Genital herpes outbreaks can occur with very mild symptoms that go unnoticed. You or your partner may have contracted the disease from a sexual partner a long time ago or your partner may have genital herpes without knowing it. You may want to consider having an open, honest conversation with your partner about your diagnosis without making any assumptions. Learn more about transmission and talking to your partner .

15. The only people who get genital herpes are those who have had many sexual partners.

Myth. Genital herpes is very common. As many as 1 in 5 American adults have genital herpes. Because of this, you can get genital herpes even if you've had only one or two sexual partners. However, your risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease like herpes increases with the number of sexual partners you've had in your life.

If you are looking for an easier way to tell your partners, well there isn't one.

Answer 2

Oh that sad to hear. All i can say is to be honest with the person that u plan on having sex with. I mean don't just say i got and std. Say it like, umm i had a std before. Let him know when you had the std. when u got it cured. And depended on what kind of std it is, he might leave. If u want see if he'll put on two condoms instead of one. And always use a condom, no matter what. Cause its not only your health at risk its also his.

Good luck and i hope this information helped

Answer 3

Don't tell them right away,only after 3-4 dates and you feel like a relationship is something you may want with this person. No need to make yourself go through this unless the person may be worth it.Then, just tell them,let them know you are telling them this because you care for them and would not put them at risk without warning this is called respect.I have been through this after 19 years of marriage and a divorce. I am now in a committed relationship with a man whom I told about my std after 4 dates we have been together 2 years.

Answer 4

This is a hard subject, but one you must deal with, so congrats on asking for advice, which is usually the first step.

Explain to him you have something important to tell him, starting off by telling him you really like him and respect him and that what your about to say may or may not change things, but.....I was (blank)
and I contracted (blank) which was not my fault. Tell him you would understand if he did not want to pursue the relationship, but remain friends.....

Eventually if he remains friends with you, the chances are in favor of him seeing you no different.

Sometimes when you tell someone the situation they are confused also and need time to figure things out. And those that leave and don't come back weren't your friends to begin with and who needs that kinda friend right?

If he is a good friend, they will figure it out. Everyone views life and what happens to others differently.

I had HCV most of my life and didn't know it. It really isn't a true STD but I told everyone once I found out and even the few prior to finding out. They knew me for who I was and being good friends it didn't matter....and I even saw one, off and on for 14 years and that didn't scare him off. Unfortunately, it was I who had to break it off....after 14 years of being together and no real commitment I knew I deserved better.

Hugs to you and good luck!

Answer 5

why are half of the people answering this question so incredibly blind. Can you re-read the question and realize what shes trying to saying here? if she says it's not her fault I'm sure it really isn't. especially the "you play you pay" guy. If you're too stupid to figure it out, use your imagination for a second and think really really hard of any situations that could land somebody in a place like that. Some people are so dumb. Sorry i didn't really answer your question very well! giggling willow's answer is superb!

Answer 6

Most std's are treatable with medicine from your local health dept. HOWEVER if you have something like herpes which there is no cure for, I wouldn't mention it to anyone. When you fall in love and are ready for a comitted relationship that would be the time to say something.

Answer 7

If you are mature enough to have sex, then you should be mature enough t talk about birth control, std's, and prevention. I believe you are mature enough. The only way to find out if he is mature enough is to ask.

Answer 8

Honesty is always the best policy. Sex without protection can lead to these types of problems. Always use protection after this is cleared up.

Answer 9

let them know before you guys get in bed, and if they seem nervous, help them understand how you control it

Answer 10

If it was'nt your fault, who's fault was it ? If you play, you pay. Simple as that...